A Moment of Not Caring.

My right foot continued to push down on the gas pedal. The stretch of road in front of me was straight and nearly empty, apart from that lone car about 100 metres.

My left hand gripped the gear stick a bit tighter as my other hand shifted the steering wheel a bit to the left. A little more pressure on the pedal.

Another shift.

I laughed to myself as I overtook the car.

My tummy was full of yummy sushi. I had two bags of books in the back. Sunglasses on. Face still tanned. I was a bit content. A bit happy. Forgetting things, for just that short moment.

I just had a day of loving myself. A day of making myself feel good.

An hour workout at the gym? Done.

Time spent showering and sitting in the steam room? Done.

So I decided to have a sushi lunch, all by myself. I sat, and took my time in choosing what I wanted from the revolving belt. I sipped on my cold green tea. I indulged on a plate of salmon wrapped around a ball of rice with a dollop of mayo on top.

It was so good, I'm sure my face had every bit of pleasure of it as the food practically melted in my mouth. After the first one, I was aware of the group of guys at the table opposite me was stealing side glances at me.

Okay. Its because of my gorgeousness.

I paid the bill, after one last bite, or seven.

I went to my favourite bookstore, and came out 7 books heavier. In my defense, I only paid for 3 of them, as one was a must have, and the other two came with a deal of Buy 1, Get 2 Free. Hence, 4 free books.

Bought a slice of Red Velvet for Mama.

Found myself with my foot pressing down on the gas pedal.

For that short minute, I was carefree. I no longer cared.

Confession No.60

It is the lingering thoughts of the road that could have happened that makes those lashes tremble under the weight of longing. 

Confession No.59

Sometimes

You're on auto pilot

Sometimes

Its the high end of emotions

Which comes before 

The curling up into a ball of depression

But most of the time

You pray wish and crave

For a distraction. 

I Have Been Away.

Explaination to come . 

Tuesday Thoughts.

Tuesday Thoughts.

Tuesday Thoughts.

Lone. Li. Ness.

Loneliness seeps between your bones

Curdles in your heart

Blankets your soul

Suffocating once ignorance

Has reached its usage limit.

Confession No.58

In the darkest corner of my heart

Hidden among the silky webs

A little gem of a zero conditional

If I am patient 

More than I have ever been

You will look for me

Find me as I am. 

Tuesday Thoughts.

Remembrance Series: Seven

I remember my first taste of pecan butterscotch cake. It was crunchily sweet. It was creamily salty. It warmed my skin from the artificial coolness. It shaded my eyes from the afternoon sun. It was the last thing I had before a hiatus of 36 months in a friendship I truly adore.

Tuesday Thoughts.

Confession No. 57

I have been checking. For months. 

Nothing. 

Now, that is a hint that I have never crossed your mind. 

Teaser- Birthday.

Remembrance Series: Six.

I remember the first taste of perfection. It was something with a 0.00000000001 chance of happening. It took my breath away. It made me full of glee. It haunted my dreams. It proves that once you had a taste of perfection, everything else pales in comparison.

Tuesday Thoughts.

Happy 3rd Year of Blogging.

Three years of blogging. Three wonderful, slightly chaotic years. The last year has seen me going through:

1. Stressful moments aka my final year project, my finals, my attempt at a professional paper and handling group members.

2. A mega book shopping trip. 20 books at one go? And to be repeated again in few months' time.

3. Going to Medina and Mecca for the third time, and feeling so grateful and in peace there.

4. Compile a collection of short stories and poems.

5. Feeling used.

6. Felt really mad at someone.

7. Met someone who showed me that ideal in my head does exist.

8. Go into a ball of despair, and found myself aching for something that will never be mine.

9. Write oh so many poetry, all emotional.

10. Write a dedication

11. Went through the whole job searching phase.

12. Earned my first salary.


Here's to another year of blogging.

Remembrance Series: Five.

I remember my first taste of sushi. It was a late dinner, a circle on the floor. It was on clearance price. It became a way for me to feel at ease with myself. It became synonymous with the whispering of secrets. It was 72 hours after being told that my friendship is worth so little.

Tuesday Thoughts.

A Lil Debate.

Earlier this week we had to debate as our class activity in the afternoon. It started from the fact that the last chapter in our Advanced Business Result book was entitled Persuasion.

That day's activity was interesting, where we had to convince someone of something and try to sell something to another. Yes, this is the British Council class. Before the lunch break our instructor told us that we will do a debate, and everyone had to speak.

The class was divided into two and my group chose to do .... Euthanasia. I was in the For part so during lunch we read up some pdf and made notes and they aka my team mates said I will do the rebut.

Let me tell you guys something about debates. It gets personal for me. Especially if I actually believe in the topic. Which is why I took Public Speaking as an elective, instead of Debate.

So, Euthanasia. For me, the only arguments against it are either religion based or human rights based. And being me, I managed to give a rebut taken from the opposition's rebut.

1. Everyone has a different level of tolerance against pain. The doctor doesn't know if the patient is withstanding the pain or not. Hence, we might end the life of someone who is actually not in agonising please-kill-me pain.


Seriously. I can see the flaw in that from the word tolerance. I simply said that yes, everyone is different but its the person who is feeling the pain. Not the doctor. Not the family members. Who are we to say no to a patient in a dire situation?


2. The religion angle.

My defense on this was about how I believe that every religion is the same in terms of wanting their believers to be decent people. But what is decent about letting someone suffer in pain, watch them beg and not do anything about it (this does not include medicine and treatment. I mean this after all of that has been done and still, the pain is there).

I saw some classmates in the other group nodded at that. My hands were shaking after I said my piece. When the instructor asked the other group to vote, we got a whopping 9 out of 11 votes because our points were more convincing.

The other group debated on same sex marriage. It was interesting.

Now, I know some of you might have been disagreeing with what I have said but as my friend said, a debate is rarely right and wrong. It is about the points and how they were said.