Current Progress.

Since I'm stuck to my notepad, here you go. Expect a whole grand affair if I eventually succeed.

Interview With the Mokesart.

Mokesart and I have known each other for a year-ish now. This interview was conducted due to him forcing me. I swear. Free publicity.

1. Since we know this is going to be based on me, how did you first

meet Hanis aka me?

I don't quite remember. A website or someshit.

2. What was your first impression of me? Like, be honest. I swear I

won't edit anything out.

Bitch. A stuck up, cold bitch. To me: a challenge. No one is a bitch

for no reason.

3. I heard from a little birdy that I'm the reason you're blogging now

at your nice little blog. Is that true?

Of course. You blogged. I read. You told me to get my views out there

(probably so I didn't bore you to death telling you about them).

Seriously though, yes. You told me that I had a lot to say and should

write them down so more people could see them.

4.I've read your blog(duh) and you just have like, a multitude of

topics. Where do you get your inspiration?

Anything really. Stuff that happens to me, or just appears on my

RADAR. A lot of the time I will have an interesting (or at least I

think so) encounter which I will either like or hate. Failing anything

happening to me, I can link to other stuff I've been reading lately,

or talk about current affairs or anything. A lot of the time I'll

write a view of the world from my perspective: liberal Christian white

male student activist. Which I don't think there are quite enough of

in the world!

5. Oh wait, what about those Song of the Day? Do you randomnly pick

them?

The song of the day is basically random, though usually from my 5500

or so strong iTunes library. It might be a song I've been listening to

lately, or it might be a song related to the topic. Or I might just

click "shuffle" and see what comes up! Sometimes though I'll ask

someone else to pick (usually you!).

6.What do you do for a living?

I bludge off my parents. No, it's not that bad really. My parents do

cover my living costs, which are rather low as I don't cost much to

run. Besides that, I do a lot of what you might call "volunteer" work.

I am currently the (unpaid) Head of Media Relations for Pirate Party

Australia and I do a lot of (usually unpaid) freelance editing of text

and musical scores. My time is mostly dedicated to passing my units in

my Bachelor of Music, though I do hope when the next school term

starts to begin tutoring guitar and bass, plus to have a band up and

running.

7. Now, where do you get the time? Haven't my bad ways rubbed off on

you yet?

I have no idea. I just sort of multitask. I've had to slow down the

blogging because I've just not had the time lately, funnily enough.

8. If you can go anywhere right now, where and why?

The surface of the sun, because it's bound to be cooler than here at

the moment! No, I'd really like to be somewhere nice and cool, so

either Antarctica or Europe most likely. Not sure where exactly, as

long as the temperature is reasonable!

9. What is one thing that you've wanted blog about but haven't yet?

So many! I have a ridiculous backlog of drafts I was intending to

write. I actually wanted to write about my view on same-sex marriages,

specifically with an "alternative" to the mainstream Christian view.

10. What do you do during your spare time?

I usually write music, watch sitcoms or play video games. The former

two are far more common, as I tend to lose interest in video games

periodically.

11. What do you think about your current editing job?

It's great! The best thing about editing your novel is that I get the

chapters as you write them. Which means that I am literally begging

you to finish the next chapter. I'm really enjoying the story, and

contributing to its polishing is keeping me nicely busy.

12. Would you , if the situation ever comes, tell people to read it?

Are you kidding?! Of course I would! If I love it, other people will

too! (And get back to work! I want 25 000 words by tomorrow night! =P) (I'm currently at 40K now)

13. List out 3 of your favourite sites.

Oh dear, there are some I'd absolutely love to. But I'm sure it would

get me into trouble in one way or another.

I won't say www.keepthisonealiveinstead.blogspot.com because it's too

obvious.

My favourite sites would be:-

www.wikipedia.org – One of the finest repositories of knowledge

available today. I know "what about inaccuracies?" Well, I've read

many academic books which talk complete crap frankly. At least with

Wikipedia it's kind of obvious.

www.pirateparty.org.au – A bit of a political plug here, but I do use

it a lot. We've got a lot of our party press releases up there, and

there are links to information and many other things so that people

can see what we're about and that we're not just "spoiled brats who

want everything for free".

www.thepiratebay.org – NOT because it lets you find torrent files to

download illegally, but because it is a great repository for materials

which are hard to find. Books that are long out of print, albums which

were never released on CD, rare films. There is an almost unwritten

pirate law "you only pirate things which are rare or overabundant." In

this case, so many things are impossible (or near impossible) to get

your hands on, that the Pirate Bay is often a last resort. I think

this is a good thing, as it means most bits of our culture will never

fade away.

14. Hmmm, what else, oh yes. Will you interview me in return?

Just say the word darling =P (What word? D:)

For the Love of Food, Shut Up.

I'm close to hitting 32K words. I'm still behind but whatever. This is far more than I expected. Of course, when I find myself getting tired of writing, I neglect my homework write a post.

Have you ever read like, articles or notes on the dangers of eating a particular food? Like, the most popular is how dangerous Coca Cola is for our health. Or processed food. There's a whole list of em. Lately, a note was passed on on Facebook on how eating sardines from a tin can cause you cancer.

You know, smoking can cause cancer with a higher probability. I read it, gave a shrug. For me, its about moderation. Don't eat sardines from a tin for like 5 nights per week. Or instant noodles. But no, some people would just go "Haven't you read?"and blah blah.

I don't care. I don't eat sardines that much and I doubt eating a sardine bun two times a week where there's like, a tablespoonful worth of mashed sardines in each of them would make me have cancer with "Sardines" stamped on it.

I used to drink soft drinks all the time. Now, I only drink them if I go to a fast food restaurant. Because I dislike iced lemon tea where they actually use those yellow lemons. I prefer lime. Back when I was binging on Sprite, I was at the receiving end of:

"Do you know that you could clean toilets with that?"

and other shit. I'll get this poker face which is stage one. Stage two would be when I'm being sharp with them. I stopped drinking soft drinks around a year ago and I feel good for myself. Not because I read some article saying a snail was killed when Coke was poured over it. You get me?

In a way, people who read those kinds of articles are just the same as the idiots who read on the internet about Islam and they say women are opressed by the religion. Or those people who wanted to boycott certain stuffs when Palestine was invaded. They read few things, think they know it from back to front then rush head in before landing with their ass up in the air.

Or to put it simply, they'll go down in my view of them. I'll roll my eyes. If you really afraid for your health, do you know that chickens are injected with female hormones which makes them fatter and this, can cause men to get boobies? Or that fishes caught in the sea are usually about a month old before they get to the market? Hail the miracle of crushed ice.

Vegetables, are sprayed with pesticides so much that they grow up perfect. Or that dessert you just had, the sugar in that can kill an ant and land it in ant heaven. Don't even get me started on calories.

So, shut up. If you really want to care, go get a patch of land and make a vegetable garden. Raise your own chickens. Plant your own paddy field, don't forget the wheat and oats. Rent a boat and fish for yourself. Then, you'll truly reduce the risk. If you're not prepared to do that, shut your mouth when you see me tucking into something so tasty. Chances are, you'll be some foood frigid, completely miserable as you try to remember the taste of some food you last ate aeons ago.

Cursing in the Morning. Not Good.

Something is really pissing me off.

I live at home, which takes time for me to commute. But so be it. I'm tired of waking up at 5.30 and arriving there an hour-ish later which leaves me 2 hours. Yes, I spend it at my friend's room but I do feel like I'm being a nuisance.

So is it so hard for people to see the reason why I don't want to mess with a day where I don't have an 8.30 class? When I say "No, I don't want to have a freaking discussion at that time." I get looked at as if I'm difficult.

Bitch, you think I'm mucking it about at home?

Urgh. I'm not mad at one individual. I'm just mad at a whole thing. I'm tired from commuting. I'm not really studying. I feel icky. God. I just want to roll on the floor and cry sometimes. Hell, I'm supposed to be typing for my NaNoWriMo now but I'm ranting here. So, fuck it.

Be My Bedmate? Not So Easy.

This is a break from my NaNo attempt.

So, few weeks ago, Dad had to go to this 2 days thingie where he had to do stuffs like a treasure hunt and other activities that is suppose to instill leadership and teamwork among you and your colleagues. The interesting thing was that he was one of the older ones, the majority were in their mid 20's to late 30's. Oh, so cute.

The trip meant he would be away for one night which actually makes a big impact in this household. Well, more like on Mama. You see, my mother is such a cute woman in her ways that one must wonder how am I her daughter.

Ehem.

One. She has a thing of parking the car right in front of the restaurant/cafe we're going since everyone would be looking at us.

Two. She just can't go eat alone because she will feel so shy.

Three. She simply can't sleep alone because she has a fear a burglar is going to come in through the ceiling and hold us hostage is afraid.

Okay, I have my own self esteem issues but I do try to not let One and Two be part of me since I don't see the freaking problem. For Three, I simply adore sleeping alone in my room, without no roomates hence the reason I rarely ask anyone over because god, that will just ruin my personal time.

So, on the night Dad was away, she made me sleep in her bed and little bro was being a pain so he ended up sleeping on the carpet in her room instead of in his. I had to get used to not being in my bed but that was okay. Until, Mama poked me and told me to stop fidgeting.

"Stop moving around so much Hanis."

"I"m not."

"Yes you are." - little bro.

It was only the night after that I realise I do fidget. I have my own pattern, if you must put a word to it, to sleeping.

First, I'll lie on my right side, two pillows under my head, hugging the bolster in front of me. Then, I'll turn to lie on my front, hugging the upper pillow under my head with my legs doing that thing I think most people do. You know, where one is straight but one is bent and it just feels so perfect?

I won't stay long but then I'll get onto my left side, bolster behind me as I throw an arm above my head, putting pressure-ish on my right ear. I'll usually fall asleep by then but if I still haven't, I'll move on to my back-up position.

Curl up in a ball on my right side with the blanket wrapped around me as if I'm trying to ward off the cold like its a monster from under my bed.

So, yes, I do fidget a lot. Few years ago, I was prone to lie on my back, arms thrown above my head, holding on to the railings. Now I think about it, that was preparing for the losing of my cherry one day. not a position appropriate for a girl my age and innocence.

Hah.

Yes, I sleep with 3 pillows, it used to be 4. If I have to live with only 2, I'll put both under my head and will simply hug my blanket. Yes, I've done that before. Blankets make the best snuggly buddy.

Now, back to NaNo.

Love,

Gloating Moment. Live it.

Okay, I'm here to gloat, blow my trumpet, etc.

I'm currently so close to hitting 30% of NaNoWriMo eventhough I'm lagging 2K

I'm losing my Stephen King's virginity with Needful Things.

Oooooooh, my interview came out.

Yes, yes yes. Go and check it out, its at one of my favourite blogs ever. Not to mention, the blogger is awesome.

Go go go go go.

Run like the wind Bullseye.

Learning to Use the Shift Button for Capital Letters.

I hit the 10K mark last night. That's 20% of 50,000 words. Hopefully, an improvement from my past efforts. Yes, Mozart is the reason I'm not thinking "God, I give up.". He has a whip and he uses it.

So, last night my keyboard went wonky and well, I did something so stupid. Somehow, Google put it in my head that I need to clean the affected keys which were Caps Lock, A, Q, Z, Tab and Shift.

Fine. But then it told me to take it out and I managed to pry out Caps Lock, clean it but guess what? I failed to put it back in.

I felt stupid but it was nothing compared to how I felt this morning when I turned on my computer and wo behold! The keys were working again.

And I was stuck with the caps lock key still not being in place. Do you know how stupid that feels?

I wanted to scream this morning. Especially when I was retyping the 900 ish words I had hand written last night in my attempt to reach 10K.

Yes, I can ask my dad to do it for me but ..... I'm scared =.=

Help me anyone? Haha.

*will try asking someone more nifty*

Of course, I'll try to post more! I promiseeeee.

Peace out.

Typing Frenzy

Tommorow is my first day of my week-ish mid semester break. Yes, I'm tempted to go 'Wooohooo" and roll on the floor. That is, until I remember the workload. Of course, I'll take this chance to catch up on my NaNoWriMo thingie. I'm up to 6200-ish words if I'm not mistaken.

The secret is ..... Mozart. He edits my work by the chapter and then tell me to write more. He's practically a slave driver I tell you. I'm expecting him to crack a whip any moment now, telling me "WRITE HANIS WRITE!"

Now, don't tell him I said that.

Apart from my NaNoWriMo, I did an interview for another blog. Yes, be excited for me. I won't tell you anything except it was for a blog that I so adore <3 . I expect the blogger would be emailing me again with some more questions or need for clarification and I promise when it is posted, I'll link it up on here and gloat about it.

Now, time to watch Friends, Season 3, Episode 19 before I start to write again.

I'm Ready. I'm Ready. Brainstorming.

I decided to do something utterly crazy and mind bending. Something lunatic-driven and perhaps, warrant few smacks to the back of my head kind of thing.

What is it?

I've decided to join in NaNoWriMo this year.

Please, send me your wishes to my comments on here.

Ishashime, you have to do this with me. We should be buddies on there!

Mozart, I'm gonna make you do this.

I'll take down everyone with me!

I'll sink this ship.

*clears throat*

Now, I need to brainstorm about ideas.

Basically, my ideas can be divided into two. Fantasy and non fantasy. I know I want to do something that can be put under the young adult section.

I want there to be emotional turmoil. I want there to be a love story. And being me, there has to be a case of unrequited love.

I know from my brief participation in fanfiction writing, I'm good at conveying sadness and heartbreak. To put it simply, I made people cry.

If I choose to do fantasy, I might write about angels. Demons.

If I choose to do non fantasy, big chance I'll be writing about best friends. Or unrequited love. Normal drama.

Which should I do?

NaNoWriMo, Do I Dare?

Last year, I participated in the National Novel Writing Month aka NaNoWriMo. I even put up a word count widget on here, promised you guys some preview to what I was writing and so on.

Then, my presentation for uni came by and I was swamped with stress and we all know that equation.

Hanis + stress = Unproductive Hanis moping around, eating sweet things.

That attempt ended with me hitting 10,000-ish words and proclaiming that I would never ever ever do this anymore.

So you're allowed to smack me now because I sure am thinking of joining it again this year. This time around, I'll aim to see how much I can write before I got bored/stressed/distracted. What do you think of that?

And of course, I'll be in a brainstorming mood because for some unknown reason I don't want to use last year's idea. God, my laptop is a cemetery for half developed plots.

I'm sure once Mozart reads this when he gets back from him let's abandon Hanis for 4 days little trip, he'll have ideas.

I just noticed, exactly a year ago, I wrote about signing up for NaNoWriMo.

A Bowl of Cookie Monster Please.

From this wonderful website which I visit every few days:

Customer: “What’s in the Cookie Monster?”

Me: “It is a blue cookie dough ice cream with Oreos in it.”

Customer: “Can you take the blue out?”

Me: “No, we use a blue dye when we make the ice cream. It has no flavor.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll get a different flavor because I don’t like the taste of blue.”

Oh my god. I want that ice cream so badly. Not to mention that Cookie Monster is my favourite Sesame Street character.

Don't Confuse Culture with Religion. Get It? You Better.

I should really stop reading Yahoo articles where they talk about Islam. And then don't read the comments at all because I sure don't want to get high blood pressure.

Like, I've ranted about this before that religion, any religion, is sometimes affected by the culture of a place. And it just pisses me offf when some people who think they're sooo freaking smart about a topic just goes on about it. I swear, I just want to smack the back of your head with my Calculus text book.

I was reading some article on Libya wanting to use Syaria law. Okay. I should have stopped at the article. But no. I had to scroll down and read the comments. I stopped myself after two "What the fuck are you fucking saying?!"

Here's one that I had to refrained myself from replying to.

"forgive my ignorance ,but going with what i see is sharia is doing just that,i.e arranged marriages,you cannot go out unless escorted,disobey your husband and get beheaded....need i go on"

Arranged marriages? Like, my ass. You cannot go out unless escorted? Hell to that. Get beheaded? Oh come on.

Here's the reply that was forming in my head, nearly bubbling out of my mouth.

Dear Lady,

Arranged marriages are not so bad, as I've heard that they have a lower divorce rate than normal marriages. But last I heard of those was during my grandparents' time. Nowadays, the closest is when mothers introduce their kids to each other and cross their fingers, hoping they'll get on. But for you to fucking say that arranged marriages is part of the Syaria Law? For fuck sake. Culture has more to do with that. I see it no more different than people marrying for money.

I swear the number of times I went out unescorted, I think my dad is having a heart attack, or sharpening his axe to behead me. Come on, stop looking at one part of the world and labelling what they do as Islam. Do you want me to look at the Pope and label his actions, words, excuses as Christianity?

My mom makes a habit of telling my dad where she's going. But, I make a habit of telling my mom where I'm going. I just see that as something normal. Like, I have this thing where I imagine going out without telling anyone, get into an accident and then my family is like all confused and wondering why am I at that place at that time. You know?

She has never been beheaded before though, unless she's like one of those ancient Greek monsters where you cut off one head, two more comes out.

About your ignorance, I can't forgive it. I can't forgive you and most of the other people who is just like you. There's innocent ignorance and there's fuckingstupid malice-filled ignorance. And hey, like the sentence "I don't mean to be rude", "Forgive my ignorance" is empty words. You don't mean it.

Love,

Me.



Months and months back,I read this blog where the person stated Sex and The City 2 was bullshitty for some reason. Honestly, I don't give a care about that show. But the reason, made me comment on the post. She was going on about how in the world can the women in burqa (all covered up) can be wearing such high-end clothes underneath?

I was so flabbergasted by that before I laughed myself off the chair. She was serious.

Like, seriously shit serious.

First thing, Malaysia is quite the popular holiday destination for Middle East tourists. I've seen those women in burqas wearing jeans underneath it (I saw by mistake). I saw some wearing stilletos. I bumped into one in the changing rooms, she was trying on a belly baring top, a dress and god knows what else.

So I would like to say, that movie got it right. And I told her so. And guessed what she did? She didn't post my comment but someone else's comment who agreed with her that women there is so opressed yada yada yada. And then she deleted that post.

HAH. She just couldn't take it when someone corrects her. Boohoo.

I do read her blog once in a while and god helps me, I can dislike someone just through their blog.

God, I just ranted.

I Need a Translator.

I have a test in few hours. To be more precise, an oral test for Arabic 2. We all know how much I suck at that. I feel like I'm back in grade school, wanting to hide under the desk as I whimper in fear.

It's for 2 chapters and I just want to diekilljumpoffacliff scream and cry my eyes out. I need to make flashcards for next time. I promise.

I now know how those kids who were weak in English back at school felt like. As if there's butterflies eagles pecking and clawing my tummy.

Umarris al-lughatt al-arabbiyatt, imtihan al-yawm.( I practice arabic, test today)

I just butchered a language there. I'm sorry people.

Love,

One Awkward Moment After Another.

That awkward moment when your mom ask you if you have a boyfriend when you thought the answer was so fucking obvious.

That awkward moment when you're tempted to go:

Yeah Mama, his name is James Franco and OF COURSE I DON'T HAVE ONE.

That awkward moment when you instead say:

No.

That awkward moment when she seems not to believe you.

That awkward moment when you sigh and say:

If I did, I would be on the phone more often and going out more, wouldn't I?

That awkward moment when she ask if you like anyone.

That awkward moment when you're stuck between:

No Mama, I only like white guys.

and

Yes, but no one likes me back.

BananaButterHoney.

Do you remember this little "recipe" of mine that some of you tried and liked? Well, today I had a craving for something sweet and let me tell you I'm not someone with a sweet tooth.

Last week I made pancakes and since I don't like maple syrup, I decided to use butter and honey instead. And guess what? I'm in love with the butter and honey combination so much that it has replaced peanut butter as my favourite thing to eat with toast.(Peanut butter is a seasonal item in my house for some reason)

During today's craving, I decided to have toast, again but with something else.

1.Take a banana, slice it in half then cut it into small pieces.

2. Heat it up a bit, longer if you want it to be mushy-ish. Use a microwave, its easier and do keep an eye on it.

3. Put in half a table-spoon or a teaspoon of butter, depending on how big the banana was.

4. Put in some honey, around 1.5 tablespoons of it.

5.Sprinkle some cinnamon powder before mixing it all up.

6. Put a piece of bread into the toaster, letting it become crisp at the sides, browning edges but still white in the center.

7. Slather the banana mix all over the toast and sink your teeth in.

8. Tell me you love me in the comments.

Love,

When Its In Narnia, Give Up.

I'm not one of those people who have a nice studying schedule. Or who studies for a number of hours everyday. I do try to study though. Like, when I got quizzes and tests coming up. Or once in a blue moon.

I got a quiz in Stochastics tommorow. On god-freaking-something that I'm sure I'm the only one in the class of 8 that didn't get it.

So, I sat at the dining table downstairs, fully focused on my book, trying to get what the topic is about.

Nada.

You know when you're studying, there's 3 situations.

A. You got it all down, in your hands.

B. Its just within reach, you have to work a bit hard.

C. Its in freaking Narnia.


I'm at C. Like, I threw a mini tantrum few minutes ago, cursing everything to the seventh circle of hell.

Mind you, it has been quite some time since my last tantrum so I felt like I was 14 or something, slamming my book shut, shoving my pencil into the pencil box, cursing every number ever created.

I got 2 assignments due on Friday. My progress level?

ZERO.

Sigh. Fine, I'm gonna try to start on one of them. That is, after I finish watching the 7th episode of Friends' Season 2. I'm hopelessly addicted to it now.

More Food, Please.

I cook.

By cook I mean, preparing/making food that I like/want to eat. And also helping Mama with cooking dinner/lunch.

I've at times, tried out recipes from the world wide web and most of the times, got quite edible though not perfect results.

I made biscuits, southern style ones you know.

I made the gravy for the biscuits.

Fish and chips.

My own tartar sauce.

And tonight, for the 2nd time, I made a stack of chocolate chip pancakes and this time, actually sat down and ate some.

We don't really have pancakes here. Well, we do but its mostly at places like House of Pancakes. And .. others. Waffles are much more popular though.

*thinks of waffles with icecream and strawberry sauce*

*thinks of waffles with chocolate spread and butter*

My sudden craving for pancakes tonight might have came from my lack of something sweet today. It practically made me lose my appetite for dinner while I mope in my room for something sweet.

Dad went to play tennis, driving Mama's car which leaves me to the mercy of his shiny car.

There goes my plan to buy something sweet.

So, to the kitchen I went, again.

30 minutes later, I had about a small stack of pancakes, some of them plain while the rest had chocolate chips in them. And I dug into 2 of them, enjoying every honey soaked bite.

*pats tummy*

Now, I want some sandwiches. The other day I made cold chicken mayo with cabbages. God, the cabbages made it so crispy and goooood. I made myself a pita bread sandwich with plenty of lettuces and tomatoes.

Yes, I'm a vege fiend when it comes to burgers and sandwiches. The more the better.

Or maybe I want some fried mushrooms.

*puts a stop to my food fantasies*

Hello October. Yes, You.

Hello October. I started this month with attending a 2 day program for uni. The original plan was that there will be a talk from 8.30am till 1pm today and a group thingie from 8.30am to 4pm tommorow.


But then, last night they made a switcheroo. Whole day today, half day Sunday.

That cancelled out a plan I made with two friends to go to this buffet place for lunch today. And since we're all such busy students, it seems that our plan is delayed for few more weeks. Perhaps till our break in November.

*sighs dramatically*

What made it suckier was that I finished early, around 1.40pm but by then my two friends already made other plans.

-.-

Other updates, my brain is slowly moving again after 3 weeks of school which is great. I might be doing a group research paper on Cannibalism. Or Teen Suicides. Its for English and the lecturer seems nice.

Today, during the program, I felt like a snob for my inner thoughts on how some people can be such idiots. I know, my course is ... well, not elite but its kinda hard. So perhaps I'm used to ... smarter kids.

It started with this problem given where:

A has 1 dollar

Forget it, I'm such a lazy snob but I can't get over how some people were soooo convinced that their answer was right and looked at the others as if we were dumb.

At least I kept my "You guys are idiots" thoughts in my head.

I have an assignment to submit on Monday, a short essay on godsomething Limit. Central Theorem Limit. Or something way off, I'm sure. I'll just look up info for it later tonight tommorow

I'm currently on page 137 of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.

Here's to a hopefully, better month. Hello October, do bring me weight loss happiness.

Confession No.24

No, I don't want to ttyl.

Its a Shallow Pool We're From.

There's two kinds of guys. The first one proclaims, with a degree of honesty, that they value appearances. The second one however, bangs on how about inner beauty and personality are core. This group can be divided into two with a ratio of 9:1. The majority to me, is such a mystery since they go crazy for that oh-so-pretty girl who can't be bitchier if she tried when there's a perfectly nice girl who's not as attractive.

Like, what the fuck is that?

Mozart said that people are fundamentally shallow.

Noelle said that those guys were probably hoping that there will be a somewhat decent personality under all those oozing hotness.

What do I say?

I think that people are too hung up by what society think is attractive. That a person wants to be with someone who they'll be able to gloat about, to get approval for. Its an ego thing. You have someone who's attractive in society's eyes, your own ratings increase.

Fuck. That.

I've heard:

"Yeah, she can be a bit bitchy/controlling/clingy but damn, she's hot"

But never:

"She might not be so pretty but she's soo great"

Now now, don't think I'm just banging on how guys are shallow shitheads. Girls can be too. But think of this, I've seen more couples where the girl is far more attractive compare to couples where the guy is far more attractive. Celebrities, rich people, etc, don't count.

Like, haven't you people heard that beauty fades, wealth gets spent? Or are you guys too caught up in comparing beauties?

Today, I heard something that made me so mad, few hours later I teared up out of anger from it.

Friend A: C(a guy friend) said that if friend B loses weight, one of the guys will go for her.

First of all, C, you're an idiot for even passing that on. This is a situation where I truly believe in killing the messenger. If this topic ever surfaces when I'm around, I'll get really mad.

Second, whoever that guy is, he's a piece of shit. A jerk. Who doesn't even deserve B, not even her little finger right now. Who the fuck do you think you are? Putting on conditional probability in life. I swear if I ever find out who you are, you'll find yourself getting smacked on the back of your head. With a chair.

And its not even about me.

Over the weekend I got ranty. Or melancholic.

Statement 1: If I lose weight, I might be attractive in society's eyes.
Statement 2: Guys who were ignoring me before might give me attention.
Statement 3: Those guys are only going for the outer part.

Mozart: People are shallow.

Noelle: Did something happened? Is something wrong?

Yes, I lost faith in people.