Observation One.

(Written while waiting for Dad to pick me up-6.04pm)

I like how the air smells after rain. Clean. Here, the whole drizzling-raining routine just finished and the air is just so fresh.

I'm watching a girl helping a guy (boyfriend?) untie his bag from around his back. I got Sugababes' Push The Button's last chorus playing in my earbuds before hearing

"She begs me to come down, Boy, quit fooling around."

But then, I got bored so right now, I'm listening to

"Dani the girl singing songs for me beneath the marquee, Overload."

Which didn't last long enough to the chorus but I swear, I'm sticking to

"And you, don't mean to be cruel, never even knew about the heartache, I've been going through."

At the the table beside mine, 3 girls are discussing their script for 3rd language. Speaking of it, we just finished 2/5 scenes for our Arabic video. Let me tell you this:

Mango pudding + plain yogurt at room temperature = yuckness.

"When you're close to tears remember, Someday it will all be over, One day we're gonna get high."

The girl and her possible boyfriend just walked by.

Earlier today, a guy pulled over and asked for directions to somewhere in campus. I'm not one to give directions unless I'm the only one there but damn, this guy was so cute.

(Oh god, I can smell burgers being grilled.)

Back to the guy, I was the one who gave the directions. If I could, I would have jumped into his car. (Yes, this is what I mean by "sex exploit" Mozart)

Well, I got to go. Dad's here. (6.17pm)

So, I plan to do this kind of thing once a week or so. Where I spend my free time, just writing down whatever is going on with a picture of the view in front of me. What do you think? Is it too chaotic?

I Won. 3rd Time Luck.

I swear I'm not going to write another word for a story in 4 months. Mokesart said I'm given a short rest before he's going to crack his whip again.

Oh yes, I got a little gift for you guys.

Yes, I got to about 50K words around 8.30pm last night. I was estastic. I was tired. I felt like running around screaming my head off. Instead, I verified my word count before gloating about it on my Facebook by changing my profile picture to the one above.

Now, I often get asked what is my story about.

I don't know how to describe it.

There's angels, demons and Reapers. Erm, Mokesart seems to enjoy it, well of what he had read so far. He's a bit frustated when I don't know what the ending would be. Yes, the novel is only halfway through ( I think) and I don't know how its going to end.

I would like to thank Mokesart for his constant motivation and patience.

That is all.

Confession No.24

Next time, ask. Not tell. Not order me to.

Where's your manners?

Current Progress.

Since I'm stuck to my notepad, here you go. Expect a whole grand affair if I eventually succeed.

Interview With the Mokesart.

Mokesart and I have known each other for a year-ish now. This interview was conducted due to him forcing me. I swear. Free publicity.

1. Since we know this is going to be based on me, how did you first

meet Hanis aka me?

I don't quite remember. A website or someshit.

2. What was your first impression of me? Like, be honest. I swear I

won't edit anything out.

Bitch. A stuck up, cold bitch. To me: a challenge. No one is a bitch

for no reason.

3. I heard from a little birdy that I'm the reason you're blogging now

at your nice little blog. Is that true?

Of course. You blogged. I read. You told me to get my views out there

(probably so I didn't bore you to death telling you about them).

Seriously though, yes. You told me that I had a lot to say and should

write them down so more people could see them.

4.I've read your blog(duh) and you just have like, a multitude of

topics. Where do you get your inspiration?

Anything really. Stuff that happens to me, or just appears on my

RADAR. A lot of the time I will have an interesting (or at least I

think so) encounter which I will either like or hate. Failing anything

happening to me, I can link to other stuff I've been reading lately,

or talk about current affairs or anything. A lot of the time I'll

write a view of the world from my perspective: liberal Christian white

male student activist. Which I don't think there are quite enough of

in the world!

5. Oh wait, what about those Song of the Day? Do you randomnly pick

them?

The song of the day is basically random, though usually from my 5500

or so strong iTunes library. It might be a song I've been listening to

lately, or it might be a song related to the topic. Or I might just

click "shuffle" and see what comes up! Sometimes though I'll ask

someone else to pick (usually you!).

6.What do you do for a living?

I bludge off my parents. No, it's not that bad really. My parents do

cover my living costs, which are rather low as I don't cost much to

run. Besides that, I do a lot of what you might call "volunteer" work.

I am currently the (unpaid) Head of Media Relations for Pirate Party

Australia and I do a lot of (usually unpaid) freelance editing of text

and musical scores. My time is mostly dedicated to passing my units in

my Bachelor of Music, though I do hope when the next school term

starts to begin tutoring guitar and bass, plus to have a band up and

running.

7. Now, where do you get the time? Haven't my bad ways rubbed off on

you yet?

I have no idea. I just sort of multitask. I've had to slow down the

blogging because I've just not had the time lately, funnily enough.

8. If you can go anywhere right now, where and why?

The surface of the sun, because it's bound to be cooler than here at

the moment! No, I'd really like to be somewhere nice and cool, so

either Antarctica or Europe most likely. Not sure where exactly, as

long as the temperature is reasonable!

9. What is one thing that you've wanted blog about but haven't yet?

So many! I have a ridiculous backlog of drafts I was intending to

write. I actually wanted to write about my view on same-sex marriages,

specifically with an "alternative" to the mainstream Christian view.

10. What do you do during your spare time?

I usually write music, watch sitcoms or play video games. The former

two are far more common, as I tend to lose interest in video games

periodically.

11. What do you think about your current editing job?

It's great! The best thing about editing your novel is that I get the

chapters as you write them. Which means that I am literally begging

you to finish the next chapter. I'm really enjoying the story, and

contributing to its polishing is keeping me nicely busy.

12. Would you , if the situation ever comes, tell people to read it?

Are you kidding?! Of course I would! If I love it, other people will

too! (And get back to work! I want 25 000 words by tomorrow night! =P) (I'm currently at 40K now)

13. List out 3 of your favourite sites.

Oh dear, there are some I'd absolutely love to. But I'm sure it would

get me into trouble in one way or another.

I won't say www.keepthisonealiveinstead.blogspot.com because it's too

obvious.

My favourite sites would be:-

www.wikipedia.org – One of the finest repositories of knowledge

available today. I know "what about inaccuracies?" Well, I've read

many academic books which talk complete crap frankly. At least with

Wikipedia it's kind of obvious.

www.pirateparty.org.au – A bit of a political plug here, but I do use

it a lot. We've got a lot of our party press releases up there, and

there are links to information and many other things so that people

can see what we're about and that we're not just "spoiled brats who

want everything for free".

www.thepiratebay.org – NOT because it lets you find torrent files to

download illegally, but because it is a great repository for materials

which are hard to find. Books that are long out of print, albums which

were never released on CD, rare films. There is an almost unwritten

pirate law "you only pirate things which are rare or overabundant." In

this case, so many things are impossible (or near impossible) to get

your hands on, that the Pirate Bay is often a last resort. I think

this is a good thing, as it means most bits of our culture will never

fade away.

14. Hmmm, what else, oh yes. Will you interview me in return?

Just say the word darling =P (What word? D:)

For the Love of Food, Shut Up.

I'm close to hitting 32K words. I'm still behind but whatever. This is far more than I expected. Of course, when I find myself getting tired of writing, I neglect my homework write a post.

Have you ever read like, articles or notes on the dangers of eating a particular food? Like, the most popular is how dangerous Coca Cola is for our health. Or processed food. There's a whole list of em. Lately, a note was passed on on Facebook on how eating sardines from a tin can cause you cancer.

You know, smoking can cause cancer with a higher probability. I read it, gave a shrug. For me, its about moderation. Don't eat sardines from a tin for like 5 nights per week. Or instant noodles. But no, some people would just go "Haven't you read?"and blah blah.

I don't care. I don't eat sardines that much and I doubt eating a sardine bun two times a week where there's like, a tablespoonful worth of mashed sardines in each of them would make me have cancer with "Sardines" stamped on it.

I used to drink soft drinks all the time. Now, I only drink them if I go to a fast food restaurant. Because I dislike iced lemon tea where they actually use those yellow lemons. I prefer lime. Back when I was binging on Sprite, I was at the receiving end of:

"Do you know that you could clean toilets with that?"

and other shit. I'll get this poker face which is stage one. Stage two would be when I'm being sharp with them. I stopped drinking soft drinks around a year ago and I feel good for myself. Not because I read some article saying a snail was killed when Coke was poured over it. You get me?

In a way, people who read those kinds of articles are just the same as the idiots who read on the internet about Islam and they say women are opressed by the religion. Or those people who wanted to boycott certain stuffs when Palestine was invaded. They read few things, think they know it from back to front then rush head in before landing with their ass up in the air.

Or to put it simply, they'll go down in my view of them. I'll roll my eyes. If you really afraid for your health, do you know that chickens are injected with female hormones which makes them fatter and this, can cause men to get boobies? Or that fishes caught in the sea are usually about a month old before they get to the market? Hail the miracle of crushed ice.

Vegetables, are sprayed with pesticides so much that they grow up perfect. Or that dessert you just had, the sugar in that can kill an ant and land it in ant heaven. Don't even get me started on calories.

So, shut up. If you really want to care, go get a patch of land and make a vegetable garden. Raise your own chickens. Plant your own paddy field, don't forget the wheat and oats. Rent a boat and fish for yourself. Then, you'll truly reduce the risk. If you're not prepared to do that, shut your mouth when you see me tucking into something so tasty. Chances are, you'll be some foood frigid, completely miserable as you try to remember the taste of some food you last ate aeons ago.

Cursing in the Morning. Not Good.

Something is really pissing me off.

I live at home, which takes time for me to commute. But so be it. I'm tired of waking up at 5.30 and arriving there an hour-ish later which leaves me 2 hours. Yes, I spend it at my friend's room but I do feel like I'm being a nuisance.

So is it so hard for people to see the reason why I don't want to mess with a day where I don't have an 8.30 class? When I say "No, I don't want to have a freaking discussion at that time." I get looked at as if I'm difficult.

Bitch, you think I'm mucking it about at home?

Urgh. I'm not mad at one individual. I'm just mad at a whole thing. I'm tired from commuting. I'm not really studying. I feel icky. God. I just want to roll on the floor and cry sometimes. Hell, I'm supposed to be typing for my NaNoWriMo now but I'm ranting here. So, fuck it.

Be My Bedmate? Not So Easy.

This is a break from my NaNo attempt.

So, few weeks ago, Dad had to go to this 2 days thingie where he had to do stuffs like a treasure hunt and other activities that is suppose to instill leadership and teamwork among you and your colleagues. The interesting thing was that he was one of the older ones, the majority were in their mid 20's to late 30's. Oh, so cute.

The trip meant he would be away for one night which actually makes a big impact in this household. Well, more like on Mama. You see, my mother is such a cute woman in her ways that one must wonder how am I her daughter.

Ehem.

One. She has a thing of parking the car right in front of the restaurant/cafe we're going since everyone would be looking at us.

Two. She just can't go eat alone because she will feel so shy.

Three. She simply can't sleep alone because she has a fear a burglar is going to come in through the ceiling and hold us hostage is afraid.

Okay, I have my own self esteem issues but I do try to not let One and Two be part of me since I don't see the freaking problem. For Three, I simply adore sleeping alone in my room, without no roomates hence the reason I rarely ask anyone over because god, that will just ruin my personal time.

So, on the night Dad was away, she made me sleep in her bed and little bro was being a pain so he ended up sleeping on the carpet in her room instead of in his. I had to get used to not being in my bed but that was okay. Until, Mama poked me and told me to stop fidgeting.

"Stop moving around so much Hanis."

"I"m not."

"Yes you are." - little bro.

It was only the night after that I realise I do fidget. I have my own pattern, if you must put a word to it, to sleeping.

First, I'll lie on my right side, two pillows under my head, hugging the bolster in front of me. Then, I'll turn to lie on my front, hugging the upper pillow under my head with my legs doing that thing I think most people do. You know, where one is straight but one is bent and it just feels so perfect?

I won't stay long but then I'll get onto my left side, bolster behind me as I throw an arm above my head, putting pressure-ish on my right ear. I'll usually fall asleep by then but if I still haven't, I'll move on to my back-up position.

Curl up in a ball on my right side with the blanket wrapped around me as if I'm trying to ward off the cold like its a monster from under my bed.

So, yes, I do fidget a lot. Few years ago, I was prone to lie on my back, arms thrown above my head, holding on to the railings. Now I think about it, that was preparing for the losing of my cherry one day. not a position appropriate for a girl my age and innocence.

Hah.

Yes, I sleep with 3 pillows, it used to be 4. If I have to live with only 2, I'll put both under my head and will simply hug my blanket. Yes, I've done that before. Blankets make the best snuggly buddy.

Now, back to NaNo.

Love,

Gloating Moment. Live it.

Okay, I'm here to gloat, blow my trumpet, etc.

I'm currently so close to hitting 30% of NaNoWriMo eventhough I'm lagging 2K

I'm losing my Stephen King's virginity with Needful Things.

Oooooooh, my interview came out.

Yes, yes yes. Go and check it out, its at one of my favourite blogs ever. Not to mention, the blogger is awesome.

Go go go go go.

Run like the wind Bullseye.

Learning to Use the Shift Button for Capital Letters.

I hit the 10K mark last night. That's 20% of 50,000 words. Hopefully, an improvement from my past efforts. Yes, Mozart is the reason I'm not thinking "God, I give up.". He has a whip and he uses it.

So, last night my keyboard went wonky and well, I did something so stupid. Somehow, Google put it in my head that I need to clean the affected keys which were Caps Lock, A, Q, Z, Tab and Shift.

Fine. But then it told me to take it out and I managed to pry out Caps Lock, clean it but guess what? I failed to put it back in.

I felt stupid but it was nothing compared to how I felt this morning when I turned on my computer and wo behold! The keys were working again.

And I was stuck with the caps lock key still not being in place. Do you know how stupid that feels?

I wanted to scream this morning. Especially when I was retyping the 900 ish words I had hand written last night in my attempt to reach 10K.

Yes, I can ask my dad to do it for me but ..... I'm scared =.=

Help me anyone? Haha.

*will try asking someone more nifty*

Of course, I'll try to post more! I promiseeeee.

Peace out.

Typing Frenzy

Tommorow is my first day of my week-ish mid semester break. Yes, I'm tempted to go 'Wooohooo" and roll on the floor. That is, until I remember the workload. Of course, I'll take this chance to catch up on my NaNoWriMo thingie. I'm up to 6200-ish words if I'm not mistaken.

The secret is ..... Mozart. He edits my work by the chapter and then tell me to write more. He's practically a slave driver I tell you. I'm expecting him to crack a whip any moment now, telling me "WRITE HANIS WRITE!"

Now, don't tell him I said that.

Apart from my NaNoWriMo, I did an interview for another blog. Yes, be excited for me. I won't tell you anything except it was for a blog that I so adore <3 . I expect the blogger would be emailing me again with some more questions or need for clarification and I promise when it is posted, I'll link it up on here and gloat about it.

Now, time to watch Friends, Season 3, Episode 19 before I start to write again.

I'm Ready. I'm Ready. Brainstorming.

I decided to do something utterly crazy and mind bending. Something lunatic-driven and perhaps, warrant few smacks to the back of my head kind of thing.

What is it?

I've decided to join in NaNoWriMo this year.

Please, send me your wishes to my comments on here.

Ishashime, you have to do this with me. We should be buddies on there!

Mozart, I'm gonna make you do this.

I'll take down everyone with me!

I'll sink this ship.

*clears throat*

Now, I need to brainstorm about ideas.

Basically, my ideas can be divided into two. Fantasy and non fantasy. I know I want to do something that can be put under the young adult section.

I want there to be emotional turmoil. I want there to be a love story. And being me, there has to be a case of unrequited love.

I know from my brief participation in fanfiction writing, I'm good at conveying sadness and heartbreak. To put it simply, I made people cry.

If I choose to do fantasy, I might write about angels. Demons.

If I choose to do non fantasy, big chance I'll be writing about best friends. Or unrequited love. Normal drama.

Which should I do?

NaNoWriMo, Do I Dare?

Last year, I participated in the National Novel Writing Month aka NaNoWriMo. I even put up a word count widget on here, promised you guys some preview to what I was writing and so on.

Then, my presentation for uni came by and I was swamped with stress and we all know that equation.

Hanis + stress = Unproductive Hanis moping around, eating sweet things.

That attempt ended with me hitting 10,000-ish words and proclaiming that I would never ever ever do this anymore.

So you're allowed to smack me now because I sure am thinking of joining it again this year. This time around, I'll aim to see how much I can write before I got bored/stressed/distracted. What do you think of that?

And of course, I'll be in a brainstorming mood because for some unknown reason I don't want to use last year's idea. God, my laptop is a cemetery for half developed plots.

I'm sure once Mozart reads this when he gets back from him let's abandon Hanis for 4 days little trip, he'll have ideas.

I just noticed, exactly a year ago, I wrote about signing up for NaNoWriMo.

A Bowl of Cookie Monster Please.

From this wonderful website which I visit every few days:

Customer: “What’s in the Cookie Monster?”

Me: “It is a blue cookie dough ice cream with Oreos in it.”

Customer: “Can you take the blue out?”

Me: “No, we use a blue dye when we make the ice cream. It has no flavor.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll get a different flavor because I don’t like the taste of blue.”

Oh my god. I want that ice cream so badly. Not to mention that Cookie Monster is my favourite Sesame Street character.

Don't Confuse Culture with Religion. Get It? You Better.

I should really stop reading Yahoo articles where they talk about Islam. And then don't read the comments at all because I sure don't want to get high blood pressure.

Like, I've ranted about this before that religion, any religion, is sometimes affected by the culture of a place. And it just pisses me offf when some people who think they're sooo freaking smart about a topic just goes on about it. I swear, I just want to smack the back of your head with my Calculus text book.

I was reading some article on Libya wanting to use Syaria law. Okay. I should have stopped at the article. But no. I had to scroll down and read the comments. I stopped myself after two "What the fuck are you fucking saying?!"

Here's one that I had to refrained myself from replying to.

"forgive my ignorance ,but going with what i see is sharia is doing just that,i.e arranged marriages,you cannot go out unless escorted,disobey your husband and get beheaded....need i go on"

Arranged marriages? Like, my ass. You cannot go out unless escorted? Hell to that. Get beheaded? Oh come on.

Here's the reply that was forming in my head, nearly bubbling out of my mouth.

Dear Lady,

Arranged marriages are not so bad, as I've heard that they have a lower divorce rate than normal marriages. But last I heard of those was during my grandparents' time. Nowadays, the closest is when mothers introduce their kids to each other and cross their fingers, hoping they'll get on. But for you to fucking say that arranged marriages is part of the Syaria Law? For fuck sake. Culture has more to do with that. I see it no more different than people marrying for money.

I swear the number of times I went out unescorted, I think my dad is having a heart attack, or sharpening his axe to behead me. Come on, stop looking at one part of the world and labelling what they do as Islam. Do you want me to look at the Pope and label his actions, words, excuses as Christianity?

My mom makes a habit of telling my dad where she's going. But, I make a habit of telling my mom where I'm going. I just see that as something normal. Like, I have this thing where I imagine going out without telling anyone, get into an accident and then my family is like all confused and wondering why am I at that place at that time. You know?

She has never been beheaded before though, unless she's like one of those ancient Greek monsters where you cut off one head, two more comes out.

About your ignorance, I can't forgive it. I can't forgive you and most of the other people who is just like you. There's innocent ignorance and there's fuckingstupid malice-filled ignorance. And hey, like the sentence "I don't mean to be rude", "Forgive my ignorance" is empty words. You don't mean it.

Love,

Me.



Months and months back,I read this blog where the person stated Sex and The City 2 was bullshitty for some reason. Honestly, I don't give a care about that show. But the reason, made me comment on the post. She was going on about how in the world can the women in burqa (all covered up) can be wearing such high-end clothes underneath?

I was so flabbergasted by that before I laughed myself off the chair. She was serious.

Like, seriously shit serious.

First thing, Malaysia is quite the popular holiday destination for Middle East tourists. I've seen those women in burqas wearing jeans underneath it (I saw by mistake). I saw some wearing stilletos. I bumped into one in the changing rooms, she was trying on a belly baring top, a dress and god knows what else.

So I would like to say, that movie got it right. And I told her so. And guessed what she did? She didn't post my comment but someone else's comment who agreed with her that women there is so opressed yada yada yada. And then she deleted that post.

HAH. She just couldn't take it when someone corrects her. Boohoo.

I do read her blog once in a while and god helps me, I can dislike someone just through their blog.

God, I just ranted.

I Need a Translator.

I have a test in few hours. To be more precise, an oral test for Arabic 2. We all know how much I suck at that. I feel like I'm back in grade school, wanting to hide under the desk as I whimper in fear.

It's for 2 chapters and I just want to diekilljumpoffacliff scream and cry my eyes out. I need to make flashcards for next time. I promise.

I now know how those kids who were weak in English back at school felt like. As if there's butterflies eagles pecking and clawing my tummy.

Umarris al-lughatt al-arabbiyatt, imtihan al-yawm.( I practice arabic, test today)

I just butchered a language there. I'm sorry people.

Love,

One Awkward Moment After Another.

That awkward moment when your mom ask you if you have a boyfriend when you thought the answer was so fucking obvious.

That awkward moment when you're tempted to go:

Yeah Mama, his name is James Franco and OF COURSE I DON'T HAVE ONE.

That awkward moment when you instead say:

No.

That awkward moment when she seems not to believe you.

That awkward moment when you sigh and say:

If I did, I would be on the phone more often and going out more, wouldn't I?

That awkward moment when she ask if you like anyone.

That awkward moment when you're stuck between:

No Mama, I only like white guys.

and

Yes, but no one likes me back.

BananaButterHoney.

Do you remember this little "recipe" of mine that some of you tried and liked? Well, today I had a craving for something sweet and let me tell you I'm not someone with a sweet tooth.

Last week I made pancakes and since I don't like maple syrup, I decided to use butter and honey instead. And guess what? I'm in love with the butter and honey combination so much that it has replaced peanut butter as my favourite thing to eat with toast.(Peanut butter is a seasonal item in my house for some reason)

During today's craving, I decided to have toast, again but with something else.

1.Take a banana, slice it in half then cut it into small pieces.

2. Heat it up a bit, longer if you want it to be mushy-ish. Use a microwave, its easier and do keep an eye on it.

3. Put in half a table-spoon or a teaspoon of butter, depending on how big the banana was.

4. Put in some honey, around 1.5 tablespoons of it.

5.Sprinkle some cinnamon powder before mixing it all up.

6. Put a piece of bread into the toaster, letting it become crisp at the sides, browning edges but still white in the center.

7. Slather the banana mix all over the toast and sink your teeth in.

8. Tell me you love me in the comments.

Love,

When Its In Narnia, Give Up.

I'm not one of those people who have a nice studying schedule. Or who studies for a number of hours everyday. I do try to study though. Like, when I got quizzes and tests coming up. Or once in a blue moon.

I got a quiz in Stochastics tommorow. On god-freaking-something that I'm sure I'm the only one in the class of 8 that didn't get it.

So, I sat at the dining table downstairs, fully focused on my book, trying to get what the topic is about.

Nada.

You know when you're studying, there's 3 situations.

A. You got it all down, in your hands.

B. Its just within reach, you have to work a bit hard.

C. Its in freaking Narnia.


I'm at C. Like, I threw a mini tantrum few minutes ago, cursing everything to the seventh circle of hell.

Mind you, it has been quite some time since my last tantrum so I felt like I was 14 or something, slamming my book shut, shoving my pencil into the pencil box, cursing every number ever created.

I got 2 assignments due on Friday. My progress level?

ZERO.

Sigh. Fine, I'm gonna try to start on one of them. That is, after I finish watching the 7th episode of Friends' Season 2. I'm hopelessly addicted to it now.

More Food, Please.

I cook.

By cook I mean, preparing/making food that I like/want to eat. And also helping Mama with cooking dinner/lunch.

I've at times, tried out recipes from the world wide web and most of the times, got quite edible though not perfect results.

I made biscuits, southern style ones you know.

I made the gravy for the biscuits.

Fish and chips.

My own tartar sauce.

And tonight, for the 2nd time, I made a stack of chocolate chip pancakes and this time, actually sat down and ate some.

We don't really have pancakes here. Well, we do but its mostly at places like House of Pancakes. And .. others. Waffles are much more popular though.

*thinks of waffles with icecream and strawberry sauce*

*thinks of waffles with chocolate spread and butter*

My sudden craving for pancakes tonight might have came from my lack of something sweet today. It practically made me lose my appetite for dinner while I mope in my room for something sweet.

Dad went to play tennis, driving Mama's car which leaves me to the mercy of his shiny car.

There goes my plan to buy something sweet.

So, to the kitchen I went, again.

30 minutes later, I had about a small stack of pancakes, some of them plain while the rest had chocolate chips in them. And I dug into 2 of them, enjoying every honey soaked bite.

*pats tummy*

Now, I want some sandwiches. The other day I made cold chicken mayo with cabbages. God, the cabbages made it so crispy and goooood. I made myself a pita bread sandwich with plenty of lettuces and tomatoes.

Yes, I'm a vege fiend when it comes to burgers and sandwiches. The more the better.

Or maybe I want some fried mushrooms.

*puts a stop to my food fantasies*

Hello October. Yes, You.

Hello October. I started this month with attending a 2 day program for uni. The original plan was that there will be a talk from 8.30am till 1pm today and a group thingie from 8.30am to 4pm tommorow.


But then, last night they made a switcheroo. Whole day today, half day Sunday.

That cancelled out a plan I made with two friends to go to this buffet place for lunch today. And since we're all such busy students, it seems that our plan is delayed for few more weeks. Perhaps till our break in November.

*sighs dramatically*

What made it suckier was that I finished early, around 1.40pm but by then my two friends already made other plans.

-.-

Other updates, my brain is slowly moving again after 3 weeks of school which is great. I might be doing a group research paper on Cannibalism. Or Teen Suicides. Its for English and the lecturer seems nice.

Today, during the program, I felt like a snob for my inner thoughts on how some people can be such idiots. I know, my course is ... well, not elite but its kinda hard. So perhaps I'm used to ... smarter kids.

It started with this problem given where:

A has 1 dollar

Forget it, I'm such a lazy snob but I can't get over how some people were soooo convinced that their answer was right and looked at the others as if we were dumb.

At least I kept my "You guys are idiots" thoughts in my head.

I have an assignment to submit on Monday, a short essay on godsomething Limit. Central Theorem Limit. Or something way off, I'm sure. I'll just look up info for it later tonight tommorow

I'm currently on page 137 of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.

Here's to a hopefully, better month. Hello October, do bring me weight loss happiness.

Confession No.24

No, I don't want to ttyl.

Its a Shallow Pool We're From.

There's two kinds of guys. The first one proclaims, with a degree of honesty, that they value appearances. The second one however, bangs on how about inner beauty and personality are core. This group can be divided into two with a ratio of 9:1. The majority to me, is such a mystery since they go crazy for that oh-so-pretty girl who can't be bitchier if she tried when there's a perfectly nice girl who's not as attractive.

Like, what the fuck is that?

Mozart said that people are fundamentally shallow.

Noelle said that those guys were probably hoping that there will be a somewhat decent personality under all those oozing hotness.

What do I say?

I think that people are too hung up by what society think is attractive. That a person wants to be with someone who they'll be able to gloat about, to get approval for. Its an ego thing. You have someone who's attractive in society's eyes, your own ratings increase.

Fuck. That.

I've heard:

"Yeah, she can be a bit bitchy/controlling/clingy but damn, she's hot"

But never:

"She might not be so pretty but she's soo great"

Now now, don't think I'm just banging on how guys are shallow shitheads. Girls can be too. But think of this, I've seen more couples where the girl is far more attractive compare to couples where the guy is far more attractive. Celebrities, rich people, etc, don't count.

Like, haven't you people heard that beauty fades, wealth gets spent? Or are you guys too caught up in comparing beauties?

Today, I heard something that made me so mad, few hours later I teared up out of anger from it.

Friend A: C(a guy friend) said that if friend B loses weight, one of the guys will go for her.

First of all, C, you're an idiot for even passing that on. This is a situation where I truly believe in killing the messenger. If this topic ever surfaces when I'm around, I'll get really mad.

Second, whoever that guy is, he's a piece of shit. A jerk. Who doesn't even deserve B, not even her little finger right now. Who the fuck do you think you are? Putting on conditional probability in life. I swear if I ever find out who you are, you'll find yourself getting smacked on the back of your head. With a chair.

And its not even about me.

Over the weekend I got ranty. Or melancholic.

Statement 1: If I lose weight, I might be attractive in society's eyes.
Statement 2: Guys who were ignoring me before might give me attention.
Statement 3: Those guys are only going for the outer part.

Mozart: People are shallow.

Noelle: Did something happened? Is something wrong?

Yes, I lost faith in people.

My Mind is Bonds Fried.

I spent the past two hours completing an assignment for Actuarial Programming. It is basically taking the things we've learned in Actuarial Math and Financial Math, making it into an excel program. Basically, taking a question that might take you around 5-10 mins and making it into something that can take an hour. Or more.

Our lecturer gave us this assignment.

"Set up a bond ammortization table. The following items must be there: Interest, fix/par value,redemption value, coupon rate, coupon payment method"

I delayed doing this since Friday because my Risk of Theory aka Financial Math bible was in a bag somewhere under my bed. Yes, its that hard to take the bag out. Till tonight, I was bored so coughing out barely there dust bunnies, I got the book and decided to start on this assignment.

I sat on the dining table since I still don't have a desk in my room. I was armed with the text book, a pencil, a piece of paper, my calculator and of course, my laptop. Everyone in the house heard my sighs, groans and crazed mutterings.

I thought I was done 90 mins later and even sent it to Mozart, gloating about it until I saw some mistakes. He went to bed, I continued cursing the damn assignment. After some tinkering here and there, I think I got it down.

I saved it, remembering the two times excel died on me, making me restart the whole thing. That was torture. I was clossssseee to throwing something. The assignment is due in 2 days, yes I'm being early for once. A day in history.

I'm currently on page 139 of The Girl Who Played With Fire.

Song of the Moment: High by Lighthouse Family.

Hiding in My Room.

I can see a pattern of me posting short, whimsical posts that are about my current thoughts, doings and so-on. I think it helps with my stress level which ultimately help me avoid a mental breakdown.

I'm also becoming fond of making lists in stating my points. Like, it make things way easier, right?

1. It looks like I'll be commuting to class every day. It might be fun and alright if only my classes didn't end at 6.00pm for 3 days and 8.00pm for one.

2. I'm still sore about not getting a place when gah, there's so many urgh... nepotism, if that is even the correct word, going on. I summed it up to Mozart as:

"I'm too priviliged to be eligible for a room and I'm not priviliged enough to have some inside help"

Aka, I'm too fucking "rich" to be allowed to live on campus because obviously I should rent somewhere off campus but then I'm not rich enough to know someone who can pull some strings for me even though I so can afford a car.

3. In order to adapt myself to studying at home, which is not the best place for me, I asked the parents for a desk and a chair in my room. Yes, I don't have any of those. Just a bed, two bookcases, two cupboards and a dressing table.

It turned from me looking at desks online in order to get an idea of what I want to me proclaiming my whole room needs a makeover because I want to dedicate a wall to a built in desk and bookcases. With a chair on wheels.

4. I'm just so plain lazy at the moment, making Mozart frustated. Currently holed up in my room, hiding from visitors. Yes, I don't like people that much. Especially when they come into my territory aka my house

5. I'm currently on page 101 of The Girl Who Played With Fire.

6. I watched Hercules, the Disney movie, last night for no reason.

Love,

Losing My Chuck Virginity.

Remember what I was planning to do? Well, it failed. I was so close to getting a place but damn it. Mama sent me to the place around 9.30am, giving me enough time to get to my 10.30 class.

But

That class got cancelled. So I took my sweet time, visiting the uni's bookstore and the first thing I saw was the "Clearance Section". Novels going on from 9 to 13 ringgit each. Which is around ... 1/4-1/3 of the normal price for a paperback book.

Malaysians aren't known for being big readers. Well, there's more non-readers than readers. Or perhaps that's the case for English books but I was the only one at that section, looking for a book and everyone else was busy looking at textbooks. God people, you should get your priorities right.

I picked up a copy of Chuck Palahniuk's Rant, breaking my Chuck virginity which I think amused Mozart a bit when I texted him that. I've only read the first chapter but it seems promising. Gruesome too.

The book cheered me up a bit from the depression that set upon me from the rejection. Fast forward 2 hours later I was in a better mood after a nice lunch with friends, contemplating if the 2 o'clock class would be on.

Then

I became a girl again, made shopping as a therapy. I bought a pretty grey scarf and two small clip on bows for my hair. A pink one with a dazzly center and a black one with polka dots. I got the first one in my hair right now, feeling prettier than normal even though no one can see me.

Two more classes and I'm done for the week, ready for my friend's invitation on Saturday which I hope will be serving her mom's tasty smackalicious, lip licking spaggeti.

I'm currently on page 370 of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Song of the Moment: Love You Like a Love Song by Selena Gomez.

Stealing From Mokesart.

I envy Mozart right now for his energy. More like for the fact that even when he's being "unreliable" he is still posting. Look at me? Barely a handful for the past few months.

I'm still waiting to get a room at one of the uni's hostels. I'm this close of begging laying down the reasons why I should get a place.

1. On the days I have an 8.30 class, I arrive at uni around 6.40 thanks to Dad who has to leave earlier than usual to send me before work. Oh yes, its 3 out of 5 days.

2. On the days my class finishes at 6.00, I have to wait for Dad who has to make way through traffic, bypassing where we live before turning back after picking me up. Today, I waited at the faculty for nearly 2 hours. 4 out of 5 days.

3. I got asthma. Which apparently, is triggered by fatigue. Like, I don't think I'll feel this tired if I'm the one driving back and forth. But when someone is sending me and picking me up. With hours and hours in between, its bound to catch up on me. I need a freaking room before I get an attack.

4. Ignore no.3

5. That figure you see on Dad's salary slip? That's all we're living on. We don't own houses that we rent. We don't have a private business. Like, most people. You know, most of those people who shows their parent's pension slip, well, big chance is the parent owns their own business or is still working somewhere else.

6. Trust me, if we had enough money, I'll be driving a car right now.

7. I don't think I'll study effectively at home.

Right now, I'm reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to refresh my mind before going on to the 2nd and 3rd book. The book helps me through my boredom at uni.

I wanted to blog about how my progress with all of those hard to remember subjects. Then I got this sudden wave of tiredness. I take that as a sign from the gods above.

"Hanis, don't write about those bloody classes."

And to steal something from Mozart, I'll be starting a Song of the Moment section. Mind you, it won't happen all the time.


Song of the Moment: Wish You Were Here- Avril Lavigne.

Confession No.23

All those crazy things you said,

You left them running through my head.

Ranting About Abortions.

Abortions.

What do you think of that?

What I don't get is how some male politicians/stateman/senators/public figures are against it.

Do they have the risk of getting pregnant?

I'm not even going to answer that. Like, unless you're the father of the baby or the person who will be responsbile for it in some way, you should just shut it.

I'm in the middle of Camp "Anti-Abortion" and Camp "Its Her Body". It's like: if you were raped and you got pregnant, I'm all for aborting it. If you were told the baby will be seriously defected and will be going through a hard life of pain and surgeries with a minimal chance of surviving, why put the pain on them? I know there are couples who do that. Take care of the baby. So the kid will know that it is loved. But come on, not everyone can go through the pain of losing a child.

Spare me the freaking "killing a human being" guilt talk. Tell that to the couple who's been childless for years and when she finally got pregnant, the doctor tells her that it's very risky, mortal-risk but they still go on because dear hubby would love the child or the wife wants to at least, leave something for her family.

As far as I know, that wife who could be risking her life is a human being too. Which guilt will be worse, aborting the child or having the mother die due to complications?

Looking at the other side of the coin, if you're going to do an abortion, again, why don't you just go and get your tubes tied? First time might be an accident but more than that, you're plain stupid.

You should look at other factors too such as culture and religion. In some places, having a baby out of wedlock is normal. In others, well, having a baby out of wedlock here would be gossip. People will think differently of you. I don't blame a woman here if she wants to get an abortion. Just don't be stupid and do anything to put yourself in that situation again.

Its your body but don't abuse it.

Guys, its just ... its not you who have to experience having a watermelon being pushed out of a kiwi sized hole.

Ticket to Dreamland.

I wrote this when I was 16.

I wait everyday,

For the sun to set and the stars to dance,

In a merry party of cheese and crackers with the lonely man on the moon,

With crickets leading the orchestra,

Waiting for the sandman to come and visit me,

All snuggled up under my quilt with pictures of cats on it,

Ready to be given a ticket to Dreamland,

Where a boy with the sweetest smile is waiting for me,

With a bouquet of wild roses and a slice of apple pie,

No judgement and shyness occurs,

Not as in reality where we both look away when we pass,

Where I have to return to every morning,

Where no bouquets and no pie awaits me,

No boy with the sweetest smile,

Sad, isn't it?,

Wish I could get a one way no return ticket to Dreamland.

Showing off My Wares.

Yesterday, I went to this darling bookstore and there was this deal of "Buy2 Get 1 Free" that applied to about 80% of the books there. Its a small store but the walls are lined with shelves which are packed.

I was in heaven and asked the owner( I think he is the owner) if he had any J.R Ward books and he was all smiley "Oh yes we do" and brought me to the very back and BAM, I saw a stack of the Black Dagger Brotherhood books.

Fact: I have the first 7 books, having collected them over 2-3 years at the recommendation of a friend when she found out I love vampires that actually die/fatally injured when the sun shines on them.

Fact 2: The first 7 books are titled Dark Lover, Lover Eternal, Lover Awakened, Lover Revealed, Lover Unbound, Lover Enshrined, Lover Avenged. Let me tell you it was a pain whenever I wanted to buy one. Apart from the first one, the rest sounds the same to me. Often I had to read the blurbs at the back because I remember the books based on which Brother it was about. Wrath, Rhage, Zsadist, Butch,Vishous, Phury and Rehvenge(Technically he's not a Brother).

So there I was, staring at the books, my hope of finding the 8th or 9th book not so high since I've been dissapointed everytime I look for them in bookstores.

Then, BAM. I saw a thick book, as thick as Lover Avenged but it was Lover Mine aka John Matthew's story. Right there I had a book orgasm AND a fangirl moment. Right away my fingers were holding on to it as if it would lead me to my one true love. Greediness and eagerness made me ask the guy.

"Do you have the 9th book?"

"Well, the paperbacks coming in few weeks"

*insert another fangirl moment*

And this was before I saw the whole "Buy 2 Get 1 Free" sticker on the book. What followed was me walking around the store about half a dozen times, looking for two more books. I looked around for Marian Keyes, to buy another book from the Walsh sisters series.

Fact 3: Walsh sisters, there's 5 of them. Claire in Watermelon, Maggie in Angels, Rachel in Rachel's Holiday, Anna in Anybody Out There? and Helen in a book that's not out yet. I've read the four books and till yesterday, I thought there were a 5th book.

Fact 4: Anybody Out There? is such a beautiful book, all bittersweet and about moving on that it made me cry, every single time.

Fact 5: I just bought Angels two weeks ago and it was a great read.

I debated on getting another Jodi Picoult but being a fan of the character Jordan McAfee, I didn't know which book to get because I already read the 3 books he's featured in.

I then saw The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest which is the 3rd book in the Millenium Trilogy. I have the first two books about a year ago and might have forgotten to buy the third one. That became my second choice.

Fact 6: The author of the trilogy died, leaving three finished books and a manuscript for his 5th book, not the 4th since he thought the 5th one was more interesting. Its really sad since the man planned to write 10 books in the series. The first book might take you some willpower or time but once you hit few chapters, you'll get addicted.

So, the hunt for the 3rd book began which saw me considering Chuck Palahniuk, James Patterson, another vampire young adult book that's in a series, and oh so much more.

The 3rd book is basically a book I picked for the title which attracted me. The blurb behind it was good too. What book is it?

The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perotta.

You can guess how happy I was while paying for it. I only paid for the first two books and was practically skipping out of the store, vowing to myself to save up and buy books there again.

Not to forget, the other three books I bought before. Starcrossed by Josephine Angelini, Angels by Marian Keyes and a 2-in-1 book by Sarah Webb( It Had to Be You and Three Times a Lady)

As my Facebook status say now,

Nothing feels better than spending your hard earned money on books.

Love,

Confession No.22

10 months.

On the calendar.

I won't wait. I promise.

After Four Months.

The last time I had such ample time to laze around and let my mind gather dust was back in 2007 during that 7 months between taking that last paper for high school (it was the evil Biology) and starting uni. It was .. bad. Like, my hand became a stranger to the concept of writing. My mind found the thought of sitting in a class and concentrating for 2 hours as torture.

That, kinda affected my studies for that first semester. I was a walking dusty mind. With shaky handwriting.

My four months of lazing my mind is coming to an end as I'm starting my new semester on Monday. I'm already in "Damn it, I'm sooo lazy" way of thinking.

1st thought: Yeay!! Back to school.

2nd thought: Damn it. No more lazing about.

3rd thought: I need to buy school supplies.

4th thought: God, look at all the subjects I have to take.

Seriously, the 4th thought is so scary I can't even remember the name of my subjects. There's 7 in all, just like last semester. But there's plenty of differences.

Last semester, I had Marketing and Economics to help me. I'm a girl in a math related degree who excels in memorising subjects. This time around? Its all math, apart from English(Report Writing ffs) and Arabic 2 (Kill me someone. No, go back to when I was registering for Arabic 1 and make me take Germany or Italian). Well, I think its all math.

Let me consult my self-made schedule.

I just got a headache from looking at the names of my subjects.

Kill me someone. Just freaking kill me with a hatchet or a chainsaw.

*clears throat* Sorry for that mild panic attack readers.

This wonderful 2nd semester of being a degree student, I'll be commiting intellectual/mental suicide taking:

1. Risk Modelling - What is it? I have no idea. Nothing to do about the risk of models falling off catwalks and tripping over a dress with a price tag that can feed my family for a year. I think.

2. Fundamentals of Regression Analysis- This, is something I know I learned 2 years ago. It was the last chapter if I'm not mistaken of Applied Statistics. God. A whole subject on that?

3. Actuarial Programming - I figure I'll be using the computer lab for this. A wild guess. Just cause there's Programming in the name does not mean it would be another Visual Basic Programming Hanis. *falls to knees* Please please please. That subject was torture. And I had to take it twice and still came out with a C+.

4. Stochastic Modelling for Actuarial Application - Sto-freaking-what? That sums it up I think.

5. Actuarial Maths 2 - Finally, something I know of. Its a continuation of Actuarial Maths 1 from last semester. I got a ... B for it. Hey, that's good for someone who stuffed herself with the bloody subject for few days before the paper. I swear my grade was jeopordised because I had no clue what to do when they ask for... this one particular type of .. something. I don't remember.

6. Report Writing - Great, another English subject that will be boring. What has happened to English classes that are fun?

7. Arabic 2 - I can only say "I'm so hungry" in Arabic with confidence. Ana jaw'an jiddan. Forgive me for the spelling errors in the 3 words.

At the moment, the schedule is a bit topsy-turvy since there's two slots that have two classes in it. Like, on Tuesday 2pm, I got Arabic AND Sto-freaking-what. Like, I need a Time-Turner please. I'll need it on Monday and Tuesday.

What will I do with my last few days? Enjoy my sleeping time. Like, duh. And, blog. I'm so lacking behind in my posts.

Love,

Remember Me By.

Mozart's dad once gave him a piece of advice which to me sounded like it should be included in the Book of Wisdom.

"Live life as though you were reading your own eulogy".

This made me think beyond of what I want in life. It kinda made me see things in a new perspective. It made me not look at what to achieve in my lifetime. But to look at what I want to achieve after my lifetime.

You must be confused right now.

Example
As a bookworm, a person who loves to buy books and collect them, I won't be concerned on people commenting on what I read. I'll be more concerned on what my children will their children about me when I'm no longer on this planet.

"My mother was very well-read and loved spending hours in a bookstore."

God, bad example, right?

*imagines Mozart facepalms*

I'll just go straight to the point.

When I die, I'll want people to talk about me in a way. I want my children to tell their grandchildren about me. I want someone to get a soft look in their eyes as they smile, saying

"She was and will always be loved"

Simple as that. Nothing about how different I am. Nothing about my dreams. All I want to be remembered for is that I was loved.

It doesn't sound that difficult to achieve, right?

What do you want to be remembered by/as?

Part Two of My Absence.

I put on 2lbs in 5 days. Which mind you, is good considering my track record of gaining 2lbs for each 1lb I lose in the fasting month.

That was a piece of info I thought you guys might like.

My Eid was ... alright. Its often the kids who enjoy it. Or the people who live so far away from their family. Me? I try to do as minimum work as I can. What, work on a day of celebration?

Well, we take the chance to visit families and neighbours and friends. For some, this is the annual chance to oooh and ahh over Mr A's new house or take a lookie at the marriage candidates pool.

....

I'm just kidding.

Its mostly catching up with each other, remarking on how pretty/big/well you look while filling yourself up with cookies and yummy food. Then you'll go on to the next house and when it comes to the 3rd house, you'll pat your tummy and say

"I just had a lot to eat at So-and-so's house. Have to watch my waist! Har har har"

I visited my mom's youngest uncle and his family. Of course, I ate some while his grandchildren and my little cousins run amok around me. The mothers were too busy remarking on how pretty the outfits were this year.

Another piece of info. We buy new traditional clothes, dress to the nines(for some) and try to pass it off as "This old thing? I only bought it last minute/at a 50% discount/few months ago/at a horrifying sum"

Then, my grandma's house were attacked by her nephews and nieces with their respective families. I was stuck in the kitchen or to be more precise, the sink after changing into casual clothes. Can you imagine the number of plates I have to wash when at first 3 cars came, then another 5?

It was kinda hectic that I didn't get to have my lunch until it was dinner time. Yes, a bit of exaggeration there but still. I sneaked off at 4pm to sleep in a room that had no ceiling fans, or any kind of wind provider. I woke up an hour later all sweaty with an oily face.

Day 2 started with my attempt at wooing my 1 year old cousin. Close but no cigar you know? We( my family and 3 more aunts and their families) went to visit my mom's younger brother.

Yada yada yada.

It was alright. We headed back home on the 3rd day and here I'am, spending my day lazily. Chores and sleeping. HEAVEN.

And that's where I went off to.

Part One of My Absence.

Warning: You might be tempted to google the words in bold.

I was kidnapped by aliens who decided I was the perfect specimen to do research on. When we got there, they found I was lacking so they sent me back after giving me the whole tourist guide shebang.

I mean.

I was abducted by a gang of gypsies that sold me to a harem of belly dancers where they trained me to perfection before the owner said I had such a stubborn look on my face I wouldn't do.

Oh wait.

I had to go to some faraway land filled with hot white guys who fawn over me.

No.

It was Eid Mubarak and as tradition states over here, most of us will balik kampung which means going back to our hometown into our family's bosom. But if someone's like me, born and bred near the city area, we'll go back to a respective parent's hometown. And that is a battle in itself.

Mama: Hanis, whose side did we celebrate the 1st day of Syawal with?

Hanis: I don't remember.

Dad: Mine of course.

Mama: No, no. Mine

Bro: I'm not involved in this at all.

This year, we went to Mama's hometown. A 4 hour long drive, that is without traffic jam where I spent about 3.5 hours sleeping in the back seat since we went back on the 2nd last day of fasting so we couldn't get any snack breaks.

Mama comes from quite the countryside though we don't have that scenery, perfect for tourism place where the wooden house on stilts is placed so near some paddy fields. God, far from it. The nearest we have is some oil palm plantation.

Hanis at age 15: Mama, I think the plantation would be a great place to make a horror movie.

Mama: Hanis. Don't.

What did we do? First of all, we don't have indoor plumbing. Back when I was a little girl, the toilet was a stall about 20 feet away from the house, surrounded by wild animals bushes and maybe some lizards. I remember crying and Mama asking the front door neighbour who had a good old fashioned inside bathroom if I can use it.

Few years later, we had a toilet built in the ... garage, if you can call it that. Its basically a small building attached to the house but where you have to exit through the kitchen door and walk a bit to the garage and let yourself in. Its ... well, its better than that shack in the middle of lizard land.

Mama comes from a big family, she's the 3rd of 8. This time around, we had at most, 7 out of 8 in the house at the same time. That's 14 adults including my Grandma and 22 grandchildren. And I was the 2nd oldest with the eldest being married and having her own little boy.

There's plenty of little hellspawns ones with the cute toddlers and babies all disliking/torturing me.

So, on the day before, we cooked up a storm with ketupat, nasi impit, beef rendang, chicken curry and noodle soup (Mi Sup) filled with bits and pieces of beef, fat and tripe. Imagine, big big woks and pots filled with food.

Us Malaysians are all about food. Trust me.

Oh dear, this post is getting too long. Next post will be about how my first two days of Syawal went and of course my trip back to civilisation home.

Peace Out.

Happy Birthday.

Its Mozart's birthday today. Go on and wish him a happy birthday and you'll make him feel like a happy god. Not to mention, you'll get a godkid.

A Tale of Pierced Ears.

The Build-up

A decade ago, I had my ears double pierced. Wait, not at the same time. That would be crazy.

I first got my ears pierced at the tender age of 6 after begging my parents to let me. It all started when I met Mama's cousin's daughter's ears. (That was complicated)

So my parents took me to Poh Kong (A gold shop as we call it or as you guys know as a jewelery shoppe) and made me sit on a high stool as a pleasant looking man came closer with a mini gun.

20 seconds later I was crying and running around the place with a freshly pierced ear all red and throbbing. Dad caught me and tried to comfort me.

Dad: Hanis, you'll look silly with only one ear pierced.

Hanis: But it hurttttttttttsssssss.

(Drama queen since young)

Another man came, older and wiser (to me) and told me the other man wasn't so experienced compare to him.

In my mind, experience = less pain. (Oh wait, I can so use that equation for another thing) So I let him pierced my other ear while I sucked on a lolly and drank juice from a box.

It didn't hurt as much. Theory proven.

Fast forward to 6 years later, I saw a schoolmate who had her ears triple pierced. Eli and I went crazy and tried to convinced our parents to let us do it.

Mama: Double is the limit.

Hanis: Pleaaasssseeee

Mama: No triple.

Hanis: Fineeeee.

I went to Poh Kong again (another branch) and got my second set of piercing. Without tears but with red ears.

I became cool for a month or so. Then it was a normal thing.

Fact 1: I can only wear gold or white gold earrings if I don't want to risk getting itchy/watery/red ears.

Fact 2: I lose my earrings often.

Fact 3: Mama got sick of buying new ones for me.

Fact 4: Fast forward to a decade later, the holes are nearly closed.

The Real Story

Mama dragged me grocery shopping at 9am. God. It was too bright and cheerful. People were all fresh and awake. It wasn't really grocery shopping, more like bits and bobs shopping.

I managed to convince Mama to make steak for today's supper.

Fact 5: While breaking our fast, we eat lightly aka samosa,burgers,fried noodles and leave the heavy stuffs aka rice for supper which is after we get back from the mosque.

While looking for small brooches to wear with my scarves, I saw a piercing gun on display.

Hanis: I want to get my ears pierced again.

Mama: The holes are closed up?

Hanis: I think.

We paid for the bits and bobs and then...

Mama saw a jewelery booth that does piercings. At a cheap price. 10 ringgit including earrings.

That's like 3 Snickers bars with enough to buy a 500ml bottle of mineral water.

The News

I got my ears pierced. Just once. Not twice because I'll wait for a while before doing that.

I know, its just my ears and not like, my nose or navel. But stilllll.

One day, I'll get my navel pierced. Or my tongue. Mozart, I know you're shuddering.

*cackles*

I Need Help.

I've been working and fasting. And we alllll know I get distracted easily. Hence, my blog is being neglected. Mozart is bugging me with his mental powers so I'll update.

I brought his hopes up last night.

Hanis: I'm writing a post

Mozart: *insert some excitement*

30 minutes later:

Hanis: I lost my mood.

Mozart: *insert some sadness*

I get ideas and get excited but the moment I put them down in words, I lose my mood.

But, I'll be taking a few weeks break from Friday so I can prepare myself for my new semester at uni. Which means...

Ding ding ding

I'll have time to think and post.

Few days ago, I was looking through an English exercise books for high school and got interested in the essay topics. And thought to myself:

"Hey, why don't I ask people to tell me what to write about?"

Ding ding ding.

I know Mozart will give an idea, and no, not about you please.

So I'm asking for your lovely help. Think of a topic, nothing too serious like politic, world hunger and so on. Religion and gay marriage is allowed though but prepare for a rant.

If you give me a suggestion, I'll give you a god child (the father will be Mozart so you'll get a musically talented kid on your hands).

So, think away :D

Love,

Kids, Try This At Home.

1. Put in 3-4 tablespoons of Milo or any chocolate powder drink at your diposal of your liking into a blender.

2. Put in a teaspoon of sugar and a dash of cinnamon powder.

3. Put in 4-5 tablespoons of oat. More if you love em.

4. Put in just enough hot water to cover up the mixture.

5. Blend away while cackling like a witch over her cauldron.

6. Pour in some fresh/low fat/soy/skim milk. Not too much. You don't want the milk to overpower the taste.

7. Blend away while laughing like Count Dracula who found a roomful of virgins.

8.Put in 2-3 handfuls of ice cubes.

9. Blend away as you try to laugh like Voldemort.

10. When you don't hear the ice cubes clanking around so much, add some cold water, not too much.

11. Continue blending before pouring the concoction into a tall glass.

12. Enjoy your chocolate oat smoothie thingie while feeling as if you're attempting to be healthy.

My Dirty Little Secret (One)

This is a secret, okay? Don't tell anyone about this.

If anyone ask me what kind of books I like, I'll give them my normal answer.

"I'm a Harry Potter freak who reads Marian Keyes (dark themes in a chick lit), Jeffrey Archer (mind fuck twists), J.R Ward (Hot vampire adventure romance), Jodi Picoult and so on"

What I won't tell people is that I have a secret love for a certain type of books. And no, its not historical romance since I don't mind going all crazy for "How to Marry a Marquess" in the bookstore.

I, Hanis, a mature 22 year old just love to read books that fall under the Young Adult section. Or to be more detailed, I just sigh and swoon over a book about teenagers still in high school.

You know, with all of those crushes, puppy love, infatuations, unrequited love, drama, friendship and so on.

I know.

Why would I want to read something like that?

I had a boring high school life. I wasn't cute/quirky/attractive/smart enough to make it different.

So, I live through those books. Or fictions. I'm just a sucker when its best friends falling in love. Or the popular kid and the nerd. Or anything. I'm up for it.

Just don't make it paranormal or anything. I want it to be a normal high school setting. That is why I've been cruising inkpop and fictionpress these days. Looking for things to read.

Mozart just don't get me.

Now, keep this a secret, okay? Unless you want to send me links of fiction/ebooks to read and I'll give you a godchild.

Two Things and a Picture.

It is:

1) Day 5 of fasting. No migraines, so far which is great. I've ate quite a variety of food and no overeating, yet. Today, I had grilled beef patties in pita bread with salad, tomatoes and onion, coleslaw, and fries. Yes, it was so darn good and filling that the moment I bit into my pita burger, I moaned mentally.

2) My parents 23rd wedding anniversary. It puts me in a moment of awe when I think that my parents have been married for 23 years, not even counting the years they dated. It makes me wistful a bit, thinking, "Hey, will I ever be in their place, able to smirk at the kids and say "23 years""

I'm happy for my parents, they've been through a lot through the years and came out stronger.



Apart from that, I found this old pillowcase I made in arts class about 7 years ago. That's the only time I can remember of actually enjoying the class. I made the design and painted it myself. Except for the lettering, which my friend helped with since I was that clumsy with a paintbrush. Yes, those are butterflies, stop saying it looks like sticks with blue leaves. :P

And under it, you can see my new comforter (not sheets though, perhaps bed-cover?) that makes me feel as if I'm back at this bed-and-breakfast I went to when I was 7 somewhere in Wales. I'll tell you guys about that place in another post.

Love,

August Has a Twin.

First of all, Happy Ramadan to all of my Muslim readers. I hope you guys did well for the first day unlike a certain someone who has a tradition of getting sick during the first two days of Ramadan every single year.

This year, it was migraines. And being feverish. And body aches. And it lasted two days. Gawd. I'm 22 and I still get sick on the first day of the fasting month like a lil 6 year old. But, of course, once I get some food in me, I'll be raring to go. Until I wake up the next morning, migraine greeting me like an old friend.

Hopefully, I'll be all better tomorrow so I can go to work and earn more money to spend on things.

I'll try to be better this month with the posting and less eating for this fasting month. Last year, I put on weight instead of losing them. Can you imagine that?

Its like, a miracle one can lose weight around here especially when they have these bazaars which are about, 100 metres long of stalls selling different goodies. You'll see an old man selling fresh hot soya bean milk beside a lady selling fried char kuew tiaow. Don't forget about those kebabs, chicken rice, briyani, various noodle dishes, grilled-in-front-of-you chicken satays and gods, all those local desserts that you won't find outside of Ramadan.

Let's not even talk about how Mama's already delicious cooking becomes basically mouth-watering at the mere thought. See. How in the world will I be able to lose weight unless you lock me up and supply with less than tasty food.

Do google all those things I've mentioned. Or to make it easy, google "Bazaar Ramadhan" and you'll thank me. Unless you're fasting at the moment and that will just be torture.

Do tell me what is your favourite meal to have in Ramadan (that is, if you're celebrating it).

Love,