Take a Look at My New Friends.

I spent about 45 minutes in a bookstore, choosing my 6 books. When I stepped in, I asked (just to confirm) if I could use the book vouchers which is when I was told:

"Yes you can and there is an additional 5% discount too."

I was so resisting the urge to dance a jig right there. So I first grabbed a copy of J.R Ward's Lover Unleashed and John Green's Looking for Alaska. I then wandered in the tight walkway, surrounded by books on both sides, my eyes wandering on every title.

I stopped in front of Stephen King, looking at the titles. There were a handful which is not helpful since I have no idea which of his books I want. One of my rule of thumb in book buying is the value of money for the number of pages.

Caution, only use this rule when you already know you like the author's writing, you like the preview written at the back of each book and you're just stuck in choosing. Do not do this if its a new author that you don't know from Eve. Because this will more often than not, make you groan out:

"Why did I buy this book?"

So, I took a copy of Under the Dome Which I read about on Wiki (what haven't I read on there?) and thought was pretty interesting and yes, it reminded me of the Simpsons' movie where Springfield was put under a gigantic dome.

I had 3 books in hand, 3 more needed. This is when I usually take a risk and pick a book. My first choice is a Jodi Picoult, something I'll like even if I don't love it the way I did for Salem Falls (her first book I read). My rule of thumb came out to play again here and it led to me choosing Handle with Care.

I think by this time, I've looked at every row of books twice. I wanted to read that one trilogy but then, they didn't have it. So I thought to myself after looking at the 4 books I've piled on top of each other on a shelf:

"Indulge yourself Hanis. Get a young adult and a chick lit-ish."

Chick lit to me is definitely not Sophie Kinsella. Or those other famousy ones where most girls just love. For me, its Marian Keyes or Jilly Cooper. Yet, I already all the fomer's books and they didn't have the latter's books in stock.

I wanted something similiar to those two so I was picking up random books, reading the back when I came to Wendy Holden's Beautiful People. There was a short one line review from The Times at the back which said:

"Up there with the best of Jilly Cooper."

I flipped through. I made it book no.5.

The problem with the young adult genre is that its so full of series. Why can't you just write one long book and that is it. I don't have anything against series but well, I don't want to be hooked to another one.

It took me about ten minutes to find an interesting one that seem to be a stand alone book. Incubus by Carol Goodman.

Brother: I've heard of the title before. Where did I? Where did I?

Hanis: The band?

Brother: Oh yeahhh.

I'm currently staring at the books, so happy to see them all spread on my bed. I've been asked which one would I read first. Well, I still got my library books so I'll finish those first. Yes, I have this thing for trying to prolong a book's unread status because , well, I don't have a reason.

Here's to the books and here's to being a bookworm.

My Journey.

We all know that I'm done with my finals. I might even had mentioned in an earlier post of doing some kind of pictures post regarding my last minute studying efforts.

So, here we are, I got 4 pictures, which is perhaps a lot for me but just small numbers for others. I thought there were way more but then, I might have counted the other not suitable for public pictures as well.

I humbly present to you, those pictures.

This was taken at my grandmother's house, judging by the yellow tablecloth under my books. So, this would be perhaps around Christmas-ish because my parents were away so I had to stay with my grandparents during nighttime. See those little clouds I drew? This is when I feel like I have plenty of time left. I draw the line at colouring in with highlighters or whatsover.

That is my Stochastic book, my pencil case, Polo mints, my calculator and the wire part of my earphones. Why in the world does the library insists to have mustard yellow tables? They're an eyesore. Trust me. I remember the library being hot that day because some people were too stingy to turn on the air conditioning.

I assure you, I was in panic mode for this picture. It was the day before my Risk Modelling exam, a very nerve wrecking day. I also sat for another one that morning so you can just imagine my level of calmness. Below minimum. You can see the cup with my Neslo which is Nescafe(instant coffee) + Milo which is so goood.

*stares at picture*

Ohhh, this is my attempt on solving a Makeham. Well, a topic in my Actuarial Math 2, the last exam. You see, there was a 7 days gap between this and the one before. I had to kick myself in the ass so I'll start studying 4 days beforehand. I remember being oh-so-calm for the first few days before smacking myself for being too calm.

The End.

Ok, okay. That is the end of my studying for this semester. Of course, the first few days after it ended, I felt so restless and wanted to crack open a book to study. Did I?

Nope. I'm not that bad.

Confession No.27

When anyone ask me how I feel/think, I aim to throw my head back with a laugh and say these words.

"I don't give a fuck."

Session One.

What is your favorite flower?

What I definitely don't like is roses. Red and orange ones especially. They're just that overated. To answer this, I like carnations. Or gardenias. White or light pink. But if a guy gives me flowers then tell me the meaning behind those flowers, I'll swoon and get on one knee before handing them a spider flower.

Are you an organized person?

Does the egg comes before the chicken?

Yes, I'm unsure about that. I don't have checklists. Or studying schedules. I'm a messy person but god forbids when someone suddenly texts me and tells me we have to do so-and-so. I hate the feeling when someone just dump things on my shoulders. I get snappy, I get moody. Does that mean I'm organised in some way where I hate it when people mess with my schedule?

Oh oh, I hate it when things are hastily planned. I believe in knowing things beforehand. Some might say I'm not organised by how I deliberately don't follow schedules I made. But then, for every finals, I make a mental schedule of what subject to study and when to, which I follow religiously.

So, I'm not even sure if its the egg or the chicken.


If you had to spend a day not using any technology, what would you do?

Define technology please. Does this mean car, electricity and all? Or just television, cable, internet, telephones and computers?

Does it include ovens and fridges?

I guess I'll be rolling around in bed, reading my pile of books, cooking lunch and dinner, play with the kitten before heading to bed. Simple as that. Sounds like a normal day, minus my laptop and the internet.


Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

I'm hitting 23 in about 6 months. I believe in this concept where guys get wiser as they aged, which in turn make them realise that girls are pretty however they are. I don't think a just legal guy would find me attractive. Of course, the 5 years difference. If I was the younger one in the relationship, I won't mind.

What’s your sign?

I'm a Leo. I'm also a Earth Snake according to the Chinese system. Some people really fit into the description of their sign, but me? I fit half and half.

I'm a romantic. But I don't want to be a leader. Other things, well, I can't remember them that much.

Writing by the Book.

With most writers that have plenty of books in print, there would be this formula. The formula of success. Like, for nearly every periodical romance novel there would be that hard to rein in Duke/Lord and the heroine who's either untamed or just so demure and lovely that said hero falls head over heels for her before he could tie on a fresh cravat.

There would be a villain in the form of a family member or an old enemy who the hero thought were out of the picture. There would be denial of feelings and the heroine would turn up her nose, brush away the tears and tell him to screw it if she's not stubborn enough to insist that yes, he is damn well in love with her.

Then the heroine might just get kidnapped or the hero would face some danger and somehow this would led to a scene of "I've fallen in love with you the moment I saw you across the ballroom." before the much awaited for "His manhood swelled at her delicate beauty." part.

Oh I forgot, that heroine has a high chance of either being past her marrying age due to family obligations, lack of standing or perhaps she was ruined due to the gossips coursing throughout the ton.


Yes. I read enough romance novels to know the basic plot. I'm not ashamed that one of my guilty pleasures are books with scandalous-ish covers.

Do you see the formula here? Its so common, basically part and parcel of writingdom. There are two reactions to such formulas. You either:

a)Find it comforting if you happen to like the writer's style of writing. You'll relish every word, loving how it seems familiar but foreign. You might even feel that the characters are all reincarnations from another book.

For example, Jodi Picoult is one of my favourite authors and she has some kind of formula going on, just not as obvious as those romance novels. Yet, I still love her books.

b) If you don't like the style of writing or you're not easily satisfied, you'll dismiss the writer's books and scoff, saying everything is just the same.

(Now is when I start bashing certain writers which might just bring the hellhounds down on me)

For this exact reason, I'm coming clean by saying that I just don't like Danielle Steel and Nicholas Spark. I've read ... 8-9(at least) books by the former and 3 from the latter and god, I skip most of the pages of Danielle's books and Nicholas'? Well, I know some girls just love his books because they really tug on your heartstrings but I swear, I regret making his The Guardian as one of the books I borrowed from the library.

No, I'm not dissing their writing skills. I just don't like their formulas.

Your taste in books is like your definition of beauty. Its very very subjective.

Confession No.26

I'm fine. I'm confused. I just ... I'm not fine. Not at all. I don't know what to think. I'm fine I'm fine I'm absolutely fine. I'm not. I just want to turn off the lights, lock the door and have Cupid's Fall on repeat until I fall asleep. Or until the battery dies.

Wow. Just Wow.

Wow.

I just finished reading Richard Bachman's The Long Walk. It is actually by Stephen King because Richard Bachman is an alias he used. I read about the book on Wiki about a year-ish ago and it caught my interest because of the general idea.

One hundred boys walk to their death, the last one standing wins. They get ticketed for a list of offenses and once you get 3 tickets, you're a target to be killed by the soldiers. If you manage to walk 3 hours, you lose those tickets. If you fall under the minimum speed or do any of the other offenses, you get shot.

Yes. It sounds ... horrible. I started reading it last night and 206 pages later, I finished reading the last sentence and whispered to myself one word.

Wow.

Some might think its not that interesting because nearly the whole damn book is about those boys walking, and walking. But Stephen King managed to make it so interesting I read about half of the book last night.

I knew how it was going to end, thanks to Wikipedia but it still hit me hard. The end came so abruptly. No explanation. Definitely no happily ever after. I'm awed. I feel like this book has just got itself into that list of Best Books Ever in my head.

If there's a book I wished I've written, apart from the HP series, is this book.

Now, I'm going to find more Richard Bachman's books to read.

Plans of Freedom.

I'm freeeeeeeeeee. Well, my finals are over , I have no class until 4th of March so I plan to read all the books I can get my hands on, work my ass off (if I get the chance to) and perhaps, try to work some fat off said ass?

Today, after leaving the examination hall I headed for the library and borrowed as much books I could carry which is sadly not enough for me. I got 8 books, which I chose within 5 minutes since the fiction section is really small in that particular library. Some are from authors I've heard and read before, some are complete strangers.

I'll tell you more of the books as I read them one by one since I have big big plans for this blog now.

One: I'm going to take you through a trip of my study sessions, there will be pictures (big deal for Hanis since I don't really do pictures before this)

Two: There might be a post of pictures, again, but this time it would be of the food I had over the last few weeks. Nothing fancy or anything but I think the comments with every picture would increase the interest factor.

Three: I got a set of questions which I would answer in about, 4-5 installments but don't think God-this-will-be-uber-boring because it will not. I'll make sure I'll get a Mokesart approval.

Four: Update on my choices of books to buy.

Oh yes, I contacted the bookstore last night, asking them to hold onto a copy of J.R Ward's Lover Unleashed and told them I'll be in this weekend or early next week. I got a reply saying they're holding on to the last copy but then, they're closed starting from today till the end of this month due to Chinese New Year.

*cue crying*

This only means that I'll have more time to choose so that's the silver lining for me.

Updates on Books

J.R Ward's Lover Unleashed is definitely one of them. I'm also going to get a Stephen King, most probably The Shining.

Looking for Alaska by John Green seems to be a pretty good choice. Now, that is all. That leaves 3 more spots.

*gets super excited*

Now, excuse me while I tuck into my cooking shows marathon.

I Need Your Help. Pleaseee.

The government gave every child in school one hundred ringgit in cash around last November. For some political reasons unknown to me. I think its good because perhaps, 30% of the kids would actually use it to buy school uniforms and stationaries, unlike my lil bro who combined it with his savings and bought a pair of Nike shoes.

I joked back then that for university students, they'll be giving out two hundred ringgit. Imagine my surprise when that kinda came true.

*goes to make a joke about her getting together with a certain guy*

Instead of cash, we got a book voucher valued at two hundred ringgit. It is given in 4 coupons, each valued at fifty ringgit. For academic books. To promote the habit of reading.

First of all, who the hell read academic books? *ignore people like Hermione*

I snooped around and guess what? We can use the vouchers to buy fiction novels and stationaries.

*runs around excited*

Then, I found out, I could use them at the wonderful store where most paperbacks are under the offer of "Buy Two, Get One Free". Which totally made me so excited, I started studying for my last exam.*starts to panic about it*

Okay, deep breaths. To get me through the few days, I'm going to make a list of books that I'll buy. I'll buy four, so I'll get two free, making it a total of six books.

SIX.

SIX.

Okay, I know the one book I'm going to get.

J.R Ward's Lover Unleashed (went to Wiki to check the title before seeing the tenth book would be released in March*goes into fangirl mode*)

Perhaps, a Stephen King. Maybe It or The Shining.

and what would be my four other books?

This is where you guys are needed. I need suggestions. If can, no books that are part of a series because you'll just get me hooked then I'llbedoomedinbuyingthose and then I'll ignore everything else which is bad.

So, ideas?

I'll super appreciate it.

Love,

This Song Reminds Me Of: If Only For One Night

This is a new section I thought up of a few weeks ago. Mokesart seemed to think it would be a good idea so, here is it.



Let me hold you tight, If only for one night

I used to be into Harry Potter fanfiction, like few years ago. I read a lot. I wrote some. I'm a fan of those short/one shot fics where the couple (Usually Harry/Hermione or Draco/Hermione) are deeply in love with each other but it just can't be or when only one is in love while the other feels a deep affection for their friend.

Your eyes say things I'll never hear from you

One of those fics led me to this song which then became a favourite of mine. I listened to it and thought up plots that would go well with it but never really wrote any down. Come to think of it, I think I'll be pretty good in writing those romance where you'll start crying from the injustice of it about halfway in.

God, I think I predicted my love life back then.

I just closed my eyes, listening to this song for the 3rd time in a row and I was reminded by a story I once wrote. Well, more like a scene because that's my style. Maybe I'll write it down soon (when I'm supposed to be studying), give some new touch to it before letting my editor edit it and tell me to stop being so melodramatic as he compliments me.

I won't tell a soul, No one has to know, If you want to be totally discreet

Interview By the Mokesart.

Mokesart just interviewed me. Go read it.

Go go go.

Hunky Mushroom Fried Rice.

From The Secret Life of Prince Charming by Deb Calleti:

"Good looks too often meant, I expect to be forgiven. It was too bad his appearance made my eyes so happy- the rest of him would likely make me miserable."




I was buying dinner, sitting at a table, waiting for my to-go order to be ready (Fried Rice with Mushrooms, sunny side up on top) when I saw this ... hunky eye candy. I admit that I'm not one who think looks = everything but like a guy who can't resist staring at a cleavage that's paraded in front of him, I stared.

He dressed to show off his hunkiness *smacks head* and I fell for it. I literally turned around in my seat just to keep my eye on his tushie and strong armshim. If I was a guy, I would be sporting a boner. Well, half-mast. I shook my head when he got out of sight, feeling disgusted with myself for such ogling before thinking that he's probably one of the biggest jerk I've ever set my eyes on.

Hanis. Stop judging someone.

I then came up with this whole theory thing involving looks and personality.

*clears throat*

It is part of human's nature to sometimes think that a physically attractive person would be the owner of a good looking personality. Which is possibly such a big mistake.

Case :

Good looking guy. You swoon, you sigh. You look at him and your mind comes up with a whole story book romance where he is the sweetest ever guy in the whole universe. But then, here's the interesting part. He doesn't. He might not have such a bad personality but since its not as perfect as his exterior, in your mind, you label him as jerk.

The same goes for women. You see Miss I Look Like an angel and then discover its more of Miss Demanding inside. She might not even be that bad, hell, she might just be an ordinary personality but its sub par compared to her looks. Hence, bitch.

Boy, those good looking people sure have a lot of things to live up to, right?

This reminds me of what I read in an articles ages ago. I think I've mentioned it before in this post of OML guys. Maybe. If I didn't, it said that we should treat everyone in the same way. Not judge just from their looks.

Pit Stop One.

Have I mentioned for the past week I've been living in Mamon's room at the hostel? Well, now I'm back home for a pit-stop aka, wash my clothes, get fresh ones and enjoy my own bed for one night before going back. I'll be having few super hectic days as I'll have a paper on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Talk about suicide?

Today's paper went well, I hope I'll get a good grade so I can make up for any bad grades. Talking about today, lack of sleep and nerves led me to a funny(well, it didn't seem so this morning) situation. I was sitting in the hall, about to fill up a slip so I took out my examination slip to check the code and group.

Now, all throughout the semester, I thought it was Regression Analysis when it was actually Fundamental of Regression Analysis. So, with little sleep and coffee in my veins, I got panicked. I saw that I registered two English subjects. I was thinking of cases of people forgetting to register one subject but at least they noticed before they're actually sitting in the hall.

I told my friend, Ekin in a very helpless panicky voice.

"Ekin, I didn't register this subject."

My five friends around me all got wide eyed with the "Oh shit" expression on their faces. I handed Ekin the slip and calm, level headed girl she is, she pointed out the last subject in the list and stated:

"Hanis, I see it."

Bella: You just gave me a mini heart attack.

Naqa: You're panicking Hanis. Calm down.

Yes, Mama and Mokesart laughed when I told them. So did my two other friends. I see the humour in it, now. Thank god my friends took my panic state into consideration so I'm not teased, yet. I'm sure once the guys hear this, I'll be hearing about it all the time.

Oh yes, the house has a new addition to it. What is it?

Its a pretty orange and white 5 month old kitten with no name attached to it yet.

I'm for Marmalade. Or Crookshanks. We'll see. He's staring at me from inside his big cage, resting in of all places, his litter box. I just want to gobble him up.

Song. Study.

I'm currently studying a subject that I don't really hold dear to my heart. Like a normal person, I'm listening to music while doing the calculations. Of course, there will be songs that I keep repeating over and over that I'm sure people around are glad for the invention of earphones. Here's one song which I seem to love.

2012 Smells Like Coffee.

I don't believe in aiming high.

I know, what kind of person am I if I don't have dreams? But looking at it from the other side, I'm simply saving myself from dissapointment. Its not like I don't wish to get certain things, I just don't go on about it.

What the heck are you talking about Hanis?

Well, results. For one.

Last semester, some of my classmates went on about how they're aiming to get 3.8 or the dean's list (3.5 and above) while I was minding my business, furiously hoping to not fail a paper, again. So, my aim was simply to pass everything.

Well, I not only wish to pass everything but I'll try as hard as I can to get at least 3.0 so my average would be a pretty thing to look at.

This is the also the reason why I don't have any resolutions for this year. Okay, I have one. I want to be able to usher in 2013. Simple as that. I know if I resolute to lose weight, I'll dissapoint myself. I'll just try to eat healthy, walk a lot and boom, I'll be okay.

Of course, everytime I hope this year would be the year I'll meet the guy meant for me Logan Lerman but if I don't, there's next year. I think he's shy and hiding from me.

Here's a post from last year that still applies today.

Bye Bye.

2011.

I've decided to do some kind of post reviewing this year. I tried doing it by month but then for some of them, I don't remember a single thing. I tried by choosing a post for each month to represent it, I just couldn't choose.
So here I'am right now, nursing a headache from the sun blinding me through the curtains, the smell of coffee, the lack of sleep(oh please) and my worry concerning my exams.

I've studied 4 hours today, 7 yesterday. I need more. More I tell you. *Get hungry for hours of study* If only I was like this back in highschool. I would be blogging from some country filled with cute Caucasian boys waiting outside my window to take me out to see the fireworks tonight and "Maybe make some of our own, Hanis. Har har har I'm just kidding. I think."

Mokesart is out partying it off with girls under his arms (exxageration). Okay, let me do a review of what I did this year.

- I made new friends.

-I fought with old friends.

-I regained those friends back.

- I went to a beach trip with classmates and rode on the banana boat thingie. Now, if only they'll do it in freshwater.

-I discovered Tumblr.

- I worked for the first time and realised how a person can be racist in such a way you won't even know this.

-I got closer to my old highschool friends.

-I met with someone who's been plaguing my dreams for the past 4 years and discovered that like time, people change.

- I started to enjoy shopping, but in small doses.

- I had a wonderful birthday.

-I won two giveaways, a painting and a charmbracelet.

-I got even more gorgeous than before.(trust me on this)

-I don't even remember the full names of my exes. Wonderful.

-I went to the 3 full face threading sessions within 5 months. (Imagine the pain)

-I participated in NaNoWriMo and I won.


I think that's all. Well, there's plenty more but I can't think of anything else.

With that, I bid farewell to this year, the year of growth, the year of chances, the year of a new start. Do give 2012 a kiss for me on your way out for me, okay? Don't forget to mention that I'm a nice wonderful person.

What Time Is It? Crunch Time.

My examination schedule this semester was designed with the sole purpose of mentally torturing us. I'm sure they made it while whispering "Crucio" underneath their breaths in between evil laughters. Oh Voldemort must have new recruits in the examination scheduling departments all over the world before he got killed in the battle.

In order to optimise my studying, I'll be leaving for the hostel to bunk in Mamon's room from tommorow until the 12th or so with short visits in between just to get fresh clothes.

I'm taking 5 papers, 5 oh so hard subjects. The first one starts on the 6th of January so I'm sure I'll be ignoring the ushering of the new year. Even as I type this, I just realise we have only 2 more days left of this year. So, the schedule.

6th- Regression Analysis
9th- Actuarial Programming
10th-Risk Modelling
11th- Stochastic
19th- Actuarial Math

I told you its a mental torture. 3 days in a row. I'm sure by the time I hand in my Stochastic' answer booklet, I'll be sporting dark circles under my eyes, muttering to myself about weird scary things and perhaps, daydreaming of a time where I've decided to take a simpler and much easier course.

I'm also sure I'll be falling asleep while rechecking my answers.

It's a custom of mine to make plans before my finals. Like, my usual one would be "I'm going to buy x number of books the day after the last paper."

Its a form of motivation, trust me. This time, I'm in the process of convincing some friends to go to this one Thai restaurant close to our old hostel back in 2009 for a meal after the Stochastic paper. Then, I'll sleep and make a map on my pillow using invisible spit ink.

Other than that, I'll make sure that I'll watch a movie or two before starting my studies for my last paper. I wonder if The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo would be in the cinemas over here by then? I hope so. Here's to studying my ass and brain out with hopes of sanity at the end.

As a way of remembering how I studied last semester, here's a poem I wrote.

Love,

Trying to be Funny.

I'm currently studying about to start studying the ways to get my man Markov process but then, I just felt I have to share some funny things I've read.

One

Friend: He's not your boyfriend.

Girl: He's just in denial.

Two

Boy: Why do you have a blog full with pictures of me?

Girl: That's from years ago.

Three

Friend: Does he know you like him?

Hanis: Yes. Just not that he's my mother's future son in law.

I told Mokesart the 2nd one, he didn't get it.*roll eyes* I so need to tell it to a girl.

Tell me how can you sleep, How can you breathe, Baby tell me how, How you love me now- Hey Monday.

Will You Tie Yourself to Me?

I watched one of those proposal videos that youtube seems to be infested with. This particular one was posted on Facebook by two friends who were envious of the girl and thought she was the "luckiest" ever. My reaction after the long build-up?

"God, that is so tacky."

I can get why some girls would envy such a grand affair, you know, with all the attention and hey, that must mean he really loves you, right?

Note the sarcasm.

Watching this video made me realised that my reaction to every single proposal video I had the misfortune to watch was along the coast of "God, that is so tacky" and "If it was me, I would be so fucking embarassed."

I just don't get it why you need to enlist people in helping you? Were they there when you fell in love? Did they helped along with that too? and like, its not like you'll be marrying those "helpers" or perhaps even divorcing them one day.

Its just you and the one you love.

I ranted about this to 2 guys and they saw my point of view. I came up with a whole list (a short one) of what you should never do when you're going to propose to me.

One: NO grand affairs. Don't go and waste money on getting some blimp to flash the message, small plane to write it in the sky, billboard, rope in a radio station, put up an ad. Like, I know some would say its the thought that counts but isn't the "Will you marry me?' part the important thought here? I sense a guy who's insecure or just wants to show off when he spends tons of money just to say those four words.

Two: NOT in front of my family. Or your family. Let's cross out crowds in a fancy restaurant or some public place where you asking would eventually put the two of us in the centre of attention. Like, what are you trying to do? Obligating me to say yes?

If the person is decent, they won't say "No, I won't marry you." in front of a crowd who's just waiting for the answer thus making you lose face. They might say yes before telling you fuck no in a more private situation.

THREE: NOTHING tacky. That includes all those putting the ring in some food/drink, scaring the shit out of the person before asking them. and of course, nothing that would be videotaped and put up on youtube.


I told you its a short list.

Mokesart asked me how do I want to be proposed to.

Definitely nothing like in the video.

I want something casual. Private. Maybe during a walk. Or while watching a movie. Perhaps right before the jump in bungee jumping. Something just between me and him. If I can find someone

Before you think this post is some sign of feminism, you're wrong. I'm not into that whole ... thing. I just don't like it when personal moments in life like that are put over the top.

Merry Merry Wishes.

Today I read on Facebook where as Muslims, you're not supposed to wish someone Merry Christmas because somehow it brings the meaning "Peace upon Jesus' God" or something like that. I think I've whined enough about this kind of thing.

If you don't believe in what you're saying, it means nothing. I take that from how one want to convert into Islam. If you want to, you'll have to say the shahadah and really mean it. You can say it a billion times but if you don't mean it, you're still not a Muslim.

Its a bit like saying "I love you."

Yes, nod in front of your screen while you think of the drama that comes from saying those three words.

Words are nothing if there's no meaning behind it.

So that is why I'm wishing you guys a Merry Christmas.

In case you were thinking of showing me some love, do remember that I appreciate books, long necklaces and anklets with bells on them.

Mokesart composed a song based on a poem of mine for my gift, I'm in love with it. Now, I just need to find something for him...

Honeymoon Plans. I Mean Backpacking.

Most girls have things in common, and one of those things are the answer to "Where do you want to go to for your honeymoon?". Most girls already knew the answer to that by the time they hit high school, no doubt aided by movies/songs/novels.

I knew I wanted to go to Rome ever since I read that one novel which I don't remember now. The resolve was strengthened by certain things and by every year's end, I tell myself I'm going to Rome for my honeymoon, no matter who I marry. But now, well, let me give you a look at a recent convo with Mokesart.

"Where do I want to go to for my honeymoon?"

"Rome." (See how I got him trained *hides from him*)

"If I meet the right guy, I might change that."

That led to him being curious and saying its odd of me to say something like that.(Pffft)

What is the change?

Well, what are the odds a guy would say yes when I ask them to take 3 months off from work after the wedding so we can go backpacking-ish across parts of Europe as our honeymoon?

Okay, let's just assume I'll get a poor sod guy to marry me. What are the odds that he won't go on about the budget? Or the time off from work? (I need to avoid workaholics)

That is why I said, if I meet the right guy.

Once he says yes and on, I'll take out a map and some of those pins that you stick on maps. I'll put a blue one on Rome and will say that will be the last place to go. I'll leave the rest of the planning for the future. The planning is half of the fun, right?

*goes off to check if there's anywhere to go bungee jumping in those possible places*

I want to travel damnit. I don't get people who feels travelling as icky. Like, what the fuck. The world is big with continents and countries. Oceans. Seas. Unless you have a fear, then, well, your loss.

I've heard some people saying how unpatriotic it is of me to want to travel abroad and not in my own country. Well, let me tell you this. God has created various weathers and places, if he didn't want us to see them, he would have made the whole world monotonous.

Seriously, you guys just want to save money/want to be Mr Scrooge but then, you pretend to be like, oh, you're not very supportive of your country dear.

Blergh.

That said, I want to travel. I will one day.

If I don't get married, I'll get hitched to Mokesart and we'll be a travelling couple.

From a Book.

"Because you can want and want and want." She turns away, hugging her knees. I can see the bony line of her spine through her dress. "But if he doesn't want you back ... you might as well wish the sky were red."

Confession No.25

I miss you.

Blogging in Bits and Pieces.

What time is it? Time for Hanis to write things using a list. No, my finals are not here yet. Its approaching though. *hides from it*

1. I'm swamped by assignments. I just want to scream and run away to a swamp with a monster in it. I'll be the maid. Thankfully, the arabic evil video is done. Tommorow, we'll start on the Visual Useless Basic thingie. I know, I got a C+ in this bloody subject years ago.


2. Mokesart is currently editing my half finished novel. He's not complaining, yet. I swear I'll pick it up once I'm done with my finals, bought my I'm-done-with-finals books and perhaps after I start working. *hopes*


3. I overheard Mary J Blige's Family Affair on the radio and realised that I can still somewhat sing along to it word-to-word. Now, I should add that to my resume.

4. Speaking of songs, I got about 80% of the rap in Superbass memorised. Now, that is an accomplishment. Do you think if I sing that to any future crush would they be impressed and find me cute?

5. Bad news, I haven't lose weight since ... September. But good news, I haven't gained any. Do you know what that means to me? Well, I'm always gaining weight but not now. It might mean I've learned to eat smarter :) *dances around*

6. I got a presentation coming up on Thursday. My group's topic is Cannibalism. My particular area is the background of Cannibalism. The other sections are

i)Medical effects of cannibalism
ii)Is cannibalism a plausible solution to world hunger?
iii) Is placenta eating cannibalism?


Yes. People winced when they heard the topic. But hey, at least its interesting, right? I don't really like the normal run-of-the-mill topics. Not that I think its stupid. But I want to learn something new while doing this secondary research paper.

Someone asked me if I'm not grossed out by the research we had to do. To be honest, the 4 of us agreed the article on placenta eating is the one that made us lose our appetites for a while.

Yes, google it. Not while eating.

7. My room is so messsssy. Mama is going to slaughter me.

8. I wrote a ... silly poem yesterday which had a pattern going on with each sentence's(verse?) number of syllables. It went something like

3
5
7
9
7
5
3


For about 4 ... I don't know enough terms here. But you get what I mean. Right?

I showed it to Mokesart and he liked the whole pattern. He didn't say if the content were blah or something. Haha.

9. Last night, I found something worse than Rebecca Black's Friday. I know, I thought that would be an impossible thing. But yes.

10. I realised I'm deeply in love with Katy Perry. If I ever meet her, I'll be screaming the way Sophia Grace did when she met Nicki Minaj Katy Perry. (Look at 3.20). I won't be that cute but that would be my excitement level.


11. I'll leave you with this wonderful picture of my feet at some bus stop near my faculty.

Challenging My Mind.

So, inspired by Friends' Season 7, Episode 8, also known as "The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs" I today decided to take a challenge presented by Chandler in the episode and manipulate it.

What was it?

To name all 50 states in the US in 6 minutes.

Since I'm not a resident of said country, nor am I a geography fan so I ommited the time limit.

I told Mokesart about it. He told me to do it then tell him how I did before he took the challenge himself.

I did it this morning, right up while doing a test, while eating before giving up around 3pm.

I got 40.

Mokesart, got 44.

Which are both impressive numbers since we're both non residents of the country. Woohooo.

This brings me to a show I love love love watching.

Cash Cab. Well, the Singapore version where the lovely, delicious, oh god so cute Oli Pettigrew is the host aka driver.

The concept (for those of you who don't know about it) is that you get into a cab and boom, its the cash cab where you get asked random questions, most of the time general knowledge. The first 4 you get right, is worth 50 bucks, then its 100 each. If you get 3 wrong before you get to your destination, you'll get kicked out with no money.

Last night, I spent an hour watching and screaming the answer at the screen.

"If I ever get into the cash cab, the first thing I'll do is kiss the host on the cheek."

"Why the cheek?" - Mokesart

"Because he has the cutest cutest dimple."

Yes, I'll win a fair amount of money if I get in there with either Dad, Mokesart or Eli. Or even Mamon.

Even if I didn't, I'll still get to kiss Oli Pettigrew on the cheek.

Observation Two.

December 5th 5.08 pm - Faculty.

The bad thing about belonging to a faculty that sits on top of a hill is the number of stairs. No matter which way you take, if you're walking, you're getting your daily cardio.

The good thing is the wind we get when we step out of class. There were times I felt like Marilyn Monroe, walking down this one big staircase with the wind teasing my hair and the skirt of my baju kurung.

In the parking lot, there's this mini bazaar going on. I resisted temptation and came away with only 3 slices of chocolate moist cake. Yes, that's me being frugal.

I see a lecturer of mine walking by with one of her sons, a male version of her. From where I'am, I can see the treetops swaying in the wind.

Mama once told me a tip. She told me to look at natural green things, starting from the nearest to the furthest. It will improve your sight, she said. I say its a good stress reliever.

This girl just walked behind me, a corner of her bag hitting me, followed by a half sincere apology. I'm looking at my phone (5.20 pm) waiting for when Dad is going to come and pick me up.

Oh yes, I need to get a bottle of mineral water, mine is nearly empty.

Right now, I'm wondering where to take a picture. The staircase, the treetops of the rolling hills(hah) from the bus stop.

(5.40 pm) Dad just called me, he just left the office. Looks like I'll be here for some time now.

"Dreaming of candy and chocolate, all the bad girls not allowed."

I got my bottle of mineral water, sitting at the faculty's foyer. This multi level place with clusters of round tables here and there.

"Hold me in your arms" is followed by "You think I'm pretty, without any make up on."

I got less than 3 ringgit in my purse and I'm tempted to spend all of them on snacks.

Oh yes, a Malay word for you guys.

Jajan = snacks. Well, it's a slang word. How to pronounce it? Do you know JajaBing of Star Wars? Yes, just add "n" and minus the Bing part (Chandler Bing).

"My heart stopes when you look at me." Ooh, that just gave me an idea for a post( I might write it).

I think I'll do some studying, got a test in 2 days. (5.49pm)

"Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t? Cause its d-a-m-a-g-e-d."

Link Provided Of Course.

Remember my other blog? The one I don't update often. Well, I just did.

Do go on and spare few minutes to read and comment on it.

Love,

Observation One.

(Written while waiting for Dad to pick me up-6.04pm)

I like how the air smells after rain. Clean. Here, the whole drizzling-raining routine just finished and the air is just so fresh.

I'm watching a girl helping a guy (boyfriend?) untie his bag from around his back. I got Sugababes' Push The Button's last chorus playing in my earbuds before hearing

"She begs me to come down, Boy, quit fooling around."

But then, I got bored so right now, I'm listening to

"Dani the girl singing songs for me beneath the marquee, Overload."

Which didn't last long enough to the chorus but I swear, I'm sticking to

"And you, don't mean to be cruel, never even knew about the heartache, I've been going through."

At the the table beside mine, 3 girls are discussing their script for 3rd language. Speaking of it, we just finished 2/5 scenes for our Arabic video. Let me tell you this:

Mango pudding + plain yogurt at room temperature = yuckness.

"When you're close to tears remember, Someday it will all be over, One day we're gonna get high."

The girl and her possible boyfriend just walked by.

Earlier today, a guy pulled over and asked for directions to somewhere in campus. I'm not one to give directions unless I'm the only one there but damn, this guy was so cute.

(Oh god, I can smell burgers being grilled.)

Back to the guy, I was the one who gave the directions. If I could, I would have jumped into his car. (Yes, this is what I mean by "sex exploit" Mozart)

Well, I got to go. Dad's here. (6.17pm)

So, I plan to do this kind of thing once a week or so. Where I spend my free time, just writing down whatever is going on with a picture of the view in front of me. What do you think? Is it too chaotic?

I Won. 3rd Time Luck.

I swear I'm not going to write another word for a story in 4 months. Mokesart said I'm given a short rest before he's going to crack his whip again.

Oh yes, I got a little gift for you guys.

Yes, I got to about 50K words around 8.30pm last night. I was estastic. I was tired. I felt like running around screaming my head off. Instead, I verified my word count before gloating about it on my Facebook by changing my profile picture to the one above.

Now, I often get asked what is my story about.

I don't know how to describe it.

There's angels, demons and Reapers. Erm, Mokesart seems to enjoy it, well of what he had read so far. He's a bit frustated when I don't know what the ending would be. Yes, the novel is only halfway through ( I think) and I don't know how its going to end.

I would like to thank Mokesart for his constant motivation and patience.

That is all.

Confession No.24

Next time, ask. Not tell. Not order me to.

Where's your manners?

Current Progress.

Since I'm stuck to my notepad, here you go. Expect a whole grand affair if I eventually succeed.

Interview With the Mokesart.

Mokesart and I have known each other for a year-ish now. This interview was conducted due to him forcing me. I swear. Free publicity.

1. Since we know this is going to be based on me, how did you first

meet Hanis aka me?

I don't quite remember. A website or someshit.

2. What was your first impression of me? Like, be honest. I swear I

won't edit anything out.

Bitch. A stuck up, cold bitch. To me: a challenge. No one is a bitch

for no reason.

3. I heard from a little birdy that I'm the reason you're blogging now

at your nice little blog. Is that true?

Of course. You blogged. I read. You told me to get my views out there

(probably so I didn't bore you to death telling you about them).

Seriously though, yes. You told me that I had a lot to say and should

write them down so more people could see them.

4.I've read your blog(duh) and you just have like, a multitude of

topics. Where do you get your inspiration?

Anything really. Stuff that happens to me, or just appears on my

RADAR. A lot of the time I will have an interesting (or at least I

think so) encounter which I will either like or hate. Failing anything

happening to me, I can link to other stuff I've been reading lately,

or talk about current affairs or anything. A lot of the time I'll

write a view of the world from my perspective: liberal Christian white

male student activist. Which I don't think there are quite enough of

in the world!

5. Oh wait, what about those Song of the Day? Do you randomnly pick

them?

The song of the day is basically random, though usually from my 5500

or so strong iTunes library. It might be a song I've been listening to

lately, or it might be a song related to the topic. Or I might just

click "shuffle" and see what comes up! Sometimes though I'll ask

someone else to pick (usually you!).

6.What do you do for a living?

I bludge off my parents. No, it's not that bad really. My parents do

cover my living costs, which are rather low as I don't cost much to

run. Besides that, I do a lot of what you might call "volunteer" work.

I am currently the (unpaid) Head of Media Relations for Pirate Party

Australia and I do a lot of (usually unpaid) freelance editing of text

and musical scores. My time is mostly dedicated to passing my units in

my Bachelor of Music, though I do hope when the next school term

starts to begin tutoring guitar and bass, plus to have a band up and

running.

7. Now, where do you get the time? Haven't my bad ways rubbed off on

you yet?

I have no idea. I just sort of multitask. I've had to slow down the

blogging because I've just not had the time lately, funnily enough.

8. If you can go anywhere right now, where and why?

The surface of the sun, because it's bound to be cooler than here at

the moment! No, I'd really like to be somewhere nice and cool, so

either Antarctica or Europe most likely. Not sure where exactly, as

long as the temperature is reasonable!

9. What is one thing that you've wanted blog about but haven't yet?

So many! I have a ridiculous backlog of drafts I was intending to

write. I actually wanted to write about my view on same-sex marriages,

specifically with an "alternative" to the mainstream Christian view.

10. What do you do during your spare time?

I usually write music, watch sitcoms or play video games. The former

two are far more common, as I tend to lose interest in video games

periodically.

11. What do you think about your current editing job?

It's great! The best thing about editing your novel is that I get the

chapters as you write them. Which means that I am literally begging

you to finish the next chapter. I'm really enjoying the story, and

contributing to its polishing is keeping me nicely busy.

12. Would you , if the situation ever comes, tell people to read it?

Are you kidding?! Of course I would! If I love it, other people will

too! (And get back to work! I want 25 000 words by tomorrow night! =P) (I'm currently at 40K now)

13. List out 3 of your favourite sites.

Oh dear, there are some I'd absolutely love to. But I'm sure it would

get me into trouble in one way or another.

I won't say www.keepthisonealiveinstead.blogspot.com because it's too

obvious.

My favourite sites would be:-

www.wikipedia.org – One of the finest repositories of knowledge

available today. I know "what about inaccuracies?" Well, I've read

many academic books which talk complete crap frankly. At least with

Wikipedia it's kind of obvious.

www.pirateparty.org.au – A bit of a political plug here, but I do use

it a lot. We've got a lot of our party press releases up there, and

there are links to information and many other things so that people

can see what we're about and that we're not just "spoiled brats who

want everything for free".

www.thepiratebay.org – NOT because it lets you find torrent files to

download illegally, but because it is a great repository for materials

which are hard to find. Books that are long out of print, albums which

were never released on CD, rare films. There is an almost unwritten

pirate law "you only pirate things which are rare or overabundant." In

this case, so many things are impossible (or near impossible) to get

your hands on, that the Pirate Bay is often a last resort. I think

this is a good thing, as it means most bits of our culture will never

fade away.

14. Hmmm, what else, oh yes. Will you interview me in return?

Just say the word darling =P (What word? D:)

For the Love of Food, Shut Up.

I'm close to hitting 32K words. I'm still behind but whatever. This is far more than I expected. Of course, when I find myself getting tired of writing, I neglect my homework write a post.

Have you ever read like, articles or notes on the dangers of eating a particular food? Like, the most popular is how dangerous Coca Cola is for our health. Or processed food. There's a whole list of em. Lately, a note was passed on on Facebook on how eating sardines from a tin can cause you cancer.

You know, smoking can cause cancer with a higher probability. I read it, gave a shrug. For me, its about moderation. Don't eat sardines from a tin for like 5 nights per week. Or instant noodles. But no, some people would just go "Haven't you read?"and blah blah.

I don't care. I don't eat sardines that much and I doubt eating a sardine bun two times a week where there's like, a tablespoonful worth of mashed sardines in each of them would make me have cancer with "Sardines" stamped on it.

I used to drink soft drinks all the time. Now, I only drink them if I go to a fast food restaurant. Because I dislike iced lemon tea where they actually use those yellow lemons. I prefer lime. Back when I was binging on Sprite, I was at the receiving end of:

"Do you know that you could clean toilets with that?"

and other shit. I'll get this poker face which is stage one. Stage two would be when I'm being sharp with them. I stopped drinking soft drinks around a year ago and I feel good for myself. Not because I read some article saying a snail was killed when Coke was poured over it. You get me?

In a way, people who read those kinds of articles are just the same as the idiots who read on the internet about Islam and they say women are opressed by the religion. Or those people who wanted to boycott certain stuffs when Palestine was invaded. They read few things, think they know it from back to front then rush head in before landing with their ass up in the air.

Or to put it simply, they'll go down in my view of them. I'll roll my eyes. If you really afraid for your health, do you know that chickens are injected with female hormones which makes them fatter and this, can cause men to get boobies? Or that fishes caught in the sea are usually about a month old before they get to the market? Hail the miracle of crushed ice.

Vegetables, are sprayed with pesticides so much that they grow up perfect. Or that dessert you just had, the sugar in that can kill an ant and land it in ant heaven. Don't even get me started on calories.

So, shut up. If you really want to care, go get a patch of land and make a vegetable garden. Raise your own chickens. Plant your own paddy field, don't forget the wheat and oats. Rent a boat and fish for yourself. Then, you'll truly reduce the risk. If you're not prepared to do that, shut your mouth when you see me tucking into something so tasty. Chances are, you'll be some foood frigid, completely miserable as you try to remember the taste of some food you last ate aeons ago.

Cursing in the Morning. Not Good.

Something is really pissing me off.

I live at home, which takes time for me to commute. But so be it. I'm tired of waking up at 5.30 and arriving there an hour-ish later which leaves me 2 hours. Yes, I spend it at my friend's room but I do feel like I'm being a nuisance.

So is it so hard for people to see the reason why I don't want to mess with a day where I don't have an 8.30 class? When I say "No, I don't want to have a freaking discussion at that time." I get looked at as if I'm difficult.

Bitch, you think I'm mucking it about at home?

Urgh. I'm not mad at one individual. I'm just mad at a whole thing. I'm tired from commuting. I'm not really studying. I feel icky. God. I just want to roll on the floor and cry sometimes. Hell, I'm supposed to be typing for my NaNoWriMo now but I'm ranting here. So, fuck it.

Be My Bedmate? Not So Easy.

This is a break from my NaNo attempt.

So, few weeks ago, Dad had to go to this 2 days thingie where he had to do stuffs like a treasure hunt and other activities that is suppose to instill leadership and teamwork among you and your colleagues. The interesting thing was that he was one of the older ones, the majority were in their mid 20's to late 30's. Oh, so cute.

The trip meant he would be away for one night which actually makes a big impact in this household. Well, more like on Mama. You see, my mother is such a cute woman in her ways that one must wonder how am I her daughter.

Ehem.

One. She has a thing of parking the car right in front of the restaurant/cafe we're going since everyone would be looking at us.

Two. She just can't go eat alone because she will feel so shy.

Three. She simply can't sleep alone because she has a fear a burglar is going to come in through the ceiling and hold us hostage is afraid.

Okay, I have my own self esteem issues but I do try to not let One and Two be part of me since I don't see the freaking problem. For Three, I simply adore sleeping alone in my room, without no roomates hence the reason I rarely ask anyone over because god, that will just ruin my personal time.

So, on the night Dad was away, she made me sleep in her bed and little bro was being a pain so he ended up sleeping on the carpet in her room instead of in his. I had to get used to not being in my bed but that was okay. Until, Mama poked me and told me to stop fidgeting.

"Stop moving around so much Hanis."

"I"m not."

"Yes you are." - little bro.

It was only the night after that I realise I do fidget. I have my own pattern, if you must put a word to it, to sleeping.

First, I'll lie on my right side, two pillows under my head, hugging the bolster in front of me. Then, I'll turn to lie on my front, hugging the upper pillow under my head with my legs doing that thing I think most people do. You know, where one is straight but one is bent and it just feels so perfect?

I won't stay long but then I'll get onto my left side, bolster behind me as I throw an arm above my head, putting pressure-ish on my right ear. I'll usually fall asleep by then but if I still haven't, I'll move on to my back-up position.

Curl up in a ball on my right side with the blanket wrapped around me as if I'm trying to ward off the cold like its a monster from under my bed.

So, yes, I do fidget a lot. Few years ago, I was prone to lie on my back, arms thrown above my head, holding on to the railings. Now I think about it, that was preparing for the losing of my cherry one day. not a position appropriate for a girl my age and innocence.

Hah.

Yes, I sleep with 3 pillows, it used to be 4. If I have to live with only 2, I'll put both under my head and will simply hug my blanket. Yes, I've done that before. Blankets make the best snuggly buddy.

Now, back to NaNo.

Love,

Gloating Moment. Live it.

Okay, I'm here to gloat, blow my trumpet, etc.

I'm currently so close to hitting 30% of NaNoWriMo eventhough I'm lagging 2K

I'm losing my Stephen King's virginity with Needful Things.

Oooooooh, my interview came out.

Yes, yes yes. Go and check it out, its at one of my favourite blogs ever. Not to mention, the blogger is awesome.

Go go go go go.

Run like the wind Bullseye.

Learning to Use the Shift Button for Capital Letters.

I hit the 10K mark last night. That's 20% of 50,000 words. Hopefully, an improvement from my past efforts. Yes, Mozart is the reason I'm not thinking "God, I give up.". He has a whip and he uses it.

So, last night my keyboard went wonky and well, I did something so stupid. Somehow, Google put it in my head that I need to clean the affected keys which were Caps Lock, A, Q, Z, Tab and Shift.

Fine. But then it told me to take it out and I managed to pry out Caps Lock, clean it but guess what? I failed to put it back in.

I felt stupid but it was nothing compared to how I felt this morning when I turned on my computer and wo behold! The keys were working again.

And I was stuck with the caps lock key still not being in place. Do you know how stupid that feels?

I wanted to scream this morning. Especially when I was retyping the 900 ish words I had hand written last night in my attempt to reach 10K.

Yes, I can ask my dad to do it for me but ..... I'm scared =.=

Help me anyone? Haha.

*will try asking someone more nifty*

Of course, I'll try to post more! I promiseeeee.

Peace out.

Typing Frenzy

Tommorow is my first day of my week-ish mid semester break. Yes, I'm tempted to go 'Wooohooo" and roll on the floor. That is, until I remember the workload. Of course, I'll take this chance to catch up on my NaNoWriMo thingie. I'm up to 6200-ish words if I'm not mistaken.

The secret is ..... Mozart. He edits my work by the chapter and then tell me to write more. He's practically a slave driver I tell you. I'm expecting him to crack a whip any moment now, telling me "WRITE HANIS WRITE!"

Now, don't tell him I said that.

Apart from my NaNoWriMo, I did an interview for another blog. Yes, be excited for me. I won't tell you anything except it was for a blog that I so adore <3 . I expect the blogger would be emailing me again with some more questions or need for clarification and I promise when it is posted, I'll link it up on here and gloat about it.

Now, time to watch Friends, Season 3, Episode 19 before I start to write again.