Late Birthday Review.

Turning 23 has been different than turning 22 where I don't even remember what happened. I turned 21 while crying a heartbreak. 20 was of guilt. So, thankfully my birthday this year was nice.

I got wishes from classmates, friends and Facebook friends. Mokesart stayed up till it was midnight my time to wish me. And I totally acted like a brat the whole of next day because it was my birthday. (Not really)

The parents got me this amazing watch. It all started a month ago when I saw this FCUK watch that I fell in love with. Mama was against the brand's name so I marketed it to Dad as French Connection instead. Somehow, they went to look for it and sadly, the catalogue is prettier than the display where I don't mean the watches are ugly, there's just not as much choice.

Maybe because I'm against those overly feminine watches with chain straps.

I then left it to my parents' wonderful taste (I mean it) and what I got, was a beautiful Ted Baker watch that came in a purple box shaped like a book. Dad joked that it was my Ted Bundy watch >.> .

Mokesart got me 2 presents. No, there was no engagement/promise ring. The first one is this pretty journal made of recycled papers and the second one arrived a bit late, two button badges that proclaimed my love of reading.

And that was my birthday.

Now, what to get for Mozart.

Birthday Post: Letter to My Future.

This is the second letter of my birthday celebration. Its shorter than the first one, but how do you write to your future self?

Dear 33 year old Hanis,

I hope you're an older, more awesome, more gorgeous than ever and more confident version of me. Well, to be honest, I've struggled with this letter for few weeks now, wondering what should I write. In the end, I have to admit that this letter would be a series of questions. I'll try to limit the number.

How's the family, which I mean Mama, Dad and Lil Bro.

How many things have you done on the bucket list and please tell me you've gone bungee jumping.

Where did you end up deciding to go for your first ever trip? Was it Australia or Disney World? Or perhaps some Wild Card like Brazil?

Did you and Mokesart went with your plan B? Or are you the godmother of babies that are in need of a hairbrush?

How's the novel going? Please tell me its at least completed. Or perhaps its one of the bestsellers? *wink wink*

Haha, I think that's about it. I hope you're celebrating your 33th birthday wonderfully with people that you love.

Love,

23 year old Hanis.

Birthday Post: Letter to My Past.

Yes, I'm officially 23 now. As celebration of my birthday, I've written two letters. Here is the first one, I'll be posting the second one later.

Dear 13 year old Hanis,

Do you want the good news or bad news first? Well, you won't be a doctor, or a fashion designer. You'll be doing something more unique and different but I'm not telling.

That awkward feeling inside you? Don't fight it. Just stop trying to fit yourself into some cookie cutter personality, those are boring.

High school would breeze by, enjoy it. You'll discover a talent next year and about those crooked teeth, you'll be getting braces in few months.

I think you know that you're a closet romantic but this will be proven soon, a hopeless one. The crushes you will have? Disasters. But you'll only really like 2 guys. Good luck knowing who. Hint: You know one of them already. My advice: Snare him now.

I wish I can give you some dietary advice but that might just result in you not developing your personality in order to make yourself feel better. Be strong, chin up.

Life in the next 10 years would be a rollercoaster but you'll be proud of who you are at the end. And trust me, you'll be able to think and say:

"So what if he doesn't like me? I'm awesome and he's missing out."

One word: Gorgeous. You'll never be that typical, overused word of beautiful. Oh yes, you'll blush for the first time when you're 17. And you'll experience another first then too.

Don't worry too much, you're lucky to have supportive parents, yes, they might seem controlling but at 23, you'll be proud of them and how they raised you.

One last thing, I miss the lack of cynicsm you had. Blame that on some idiots.

Love,

23 year old Hanis.

Drinking Obsession.

Its the third day of Ramadan and I already see the pattern this time around. For my 17th Ramadan of fasting, I am obsessed with drinks.

Like, I'll think what drink will fill up that jug on the table when we break our fast. I'll open the fridge and ogle the bottles of cold water. I'll think of how I'll make a nice tall glass of Iced Milo before bedtime. I'll look at the jug of water on my table, telling myself that I'm gonna drink it all down.

God Hanis, you're supposed to be a pro at this fasting gig.

On the first day, we had rose syrup with lemon. Yesterday we had a combination of rose syrup, ice cream soda and condensed milk which is so yummylicious. Today, I'll sooth my throat with some Sunquick.

Oh yes.

Right now, I'm just imagining all the drinks I'll be drinking once Ramadan ends. I'll be wasting all my money on those sugary cold drinks. Such as those chocolate mint bubble teas and that venti dark mocha. Perhaps I'll make a jug of iced lemon tea, or just a tall glass of iced water.

Can you just imagine all the drinks you can have? All that coolness sliding in your mouth and throat.

skdjalkjdsakjsasla


Excuse me while I go and wait for time to break my fast with a glass of cold Sunquick.

Two Years of Ranting and Mindless Babbling.

Happy 2nd Birthday to I Don't Do Boys.

Yes, I still think most guys today are boys caught up with such shitty ideas in their heads. But I've matured in these two years. My blogging ways has change.

As in:

1. I curse less. Unless its a rant.

2. I don't do multi posts a day, anymore.

3. I usually let a post idea roll around in my head, for at least few hours instead of just whinging it.

4. I rarely mention No 1, No 2 and No 3 anymore.

5. I've moved on from Marky Mark and is now, totally want Joe Santagato to be the father of my babies.

6. Two years ago, I was turning 21 in 4 days, now, I'm turning 23 in 4 days.

7. I still love reading, chocolate and McDonald's fries.

8. I'm still broke.

9. I don't give a care anymore on getting married. If it happens, it will. Meanwhile, I'll spend my time worrying on saving up for my future trip to either Australia or Disney World.

What else, oh oh this:

Top Three Posts

Carbon Neutral? You Bet Your Ass.

A Tale of Pierced Ears.

After a Week, Finally a Post.

Top Three Pages

For My Stalkers.

Letter to Cupid.

Before I Die, I'll


I want to thank all of my followers and readers. Also my commenters. If I wasn't so broke, I'll be holding some kind of random giveaway of one of my books with a Snickers bar.

Perhaps next year.

Yes, I still owe a post about the picture. I'll do it.. sometime soon.

Oh oh, its the first day of Ramadhan so all I want is a large bag of McDonald's fries.

Thank you, keep on reading.

Rant with Some Feminism.

Back in my grandmother's days, people say that education should not be wasted on women.As long as they know how to write, read and do the basic math, that is enough and off to learn in the kitchen they went.

Back in my mother's days, people say that no matter how qualified a woman's education and work is, they will still go back to the kitchen.

I thought now, in 2012, only idiots who were brought up by mothers who lack female empowerment or fathers who teach their kids that women are below men, would be the one sprouting such shitness.

If it's a guy who said those kind of things, he's an arsehole who would one day get slapped for saying something like that.

If a girl who said those kind of things, I'm going to go all emo bitch feminist on her ass.

Last week, I got super mad at what perhaps might be one of the most stupid things I heard coming from a girl, and trust me, I've heard plenty enough.

"But he's rich."

Talking about wealth, you can only be proud of it when its yours. Not when its money from your parents' wallet. Its nothing to be proud of too if its heritage.

"Women have to marry early."

What the fuck. So do enlighten me, when you're getting married, is it because you want to or is it because its the right thing to do?

"If you marry late, the chance of you getting a Down Syndrome is bigger."

Back up a bit. First of all, not everyone gets married to have a baby.

"So you're gonna get marry just for sex."

Oh ho ho. Those are words from someone who's clearly still immature hence still thinking that if someone "likes sex", they're a slut/ho/immoral.

So you're gonna get married because you have to and have babies because you have to too? First rule of becoming a parent: Just cause you can have babies, doesn't mean that you'll be a good parent.

"If you don't have kids, who's gonna take care of you when you're old?"

Oh god. Such noble intention of having children. TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. Stop being so freaking dependant.

"Islam makes it compulsory for its followers to marry and have kids, expand the number of Muslims."

BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. That is really the worst crap I ever ever ever heard.

*takes a deep breath to calm myself down*

.
.
.
.
.

Alright, I'm calm.

The thing that really got me mad was the fact that those things came from a girl. I was this close to saying something really bad. And another thing that happened last year was when I heard some friends saying they want a husband with good religious presence so they can guide their wife.

Ok, I know we should look for something like that, but why don't you just go and fucking guide yourself? This is not one of those silly Malay novels where the wild city girls meet that nice religious guy who will help them turn over a new leaf.

As Mama said, if you want a nice guy, be nice yourself.

End of Things.

Hello hello.

I'm back at home, no more studying since my last subject, Pension Mathematics was yesterday. Now, this is going to be a post touching on many things which are mostly plans for the coming days.

How was your finals?

God, I felt like quitting my Degree and become a cashier at the nearest McDonald's few times over the span of 3 weeks.

For my first subject, Fundamentals of Data Mining, it went okay-ish but it was full of terms that clearly went through the Synonyms machine. I finished it 40 minutes early and since there was nothing else to do, I passed up and left early.

For Technology Entrepreneurship, I thank the person who emailed his friends the topics that might come out. It helped tremendously for a subject with 10 long chapters made for memorising. I finished this one way earlier. 80 minutes and I was out of the 3 hour test.

The third one, Survival Models is the one that made me feel my worst ever since I started my Degree. Can you imagine that everyone around me was getting the subject but I was still trying to get a grasp of it right until the night before? After I had called my mom and cried to her that I just don't understand this subject. And outside the examination hall, I was pale, hands shaking so badly. Blergh.

Financial Economics was right after a busy weekend. Minimal time to study for my favourite subject. And due to some time wasting factors, misleading tips and confusing questions, I said goodbye to the A I was expecting.

And then it all ended with Pension Mathematics. A subject that I had no input right until last Tuesday. To sum it up, I don't feel good.


I heard there's gonna be two important things next week.

YESSSS. On the 21st it is my blog's second birthday. Woohoo. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but expect a monologue on how things have changed.

And then, on the 25th, I'm turning 2320 so I'm celebrating it by writing two letters. One to my 13 year old self and one to my 33 year old self.

I'm also persuading my parents for a new watch, which they won't let me choose myself.


What are your holiday plans?

Teach my brother. Sleep. Read. Do nothing. I mean, try to get some money from somewhere. Buy books. Get a new phone.

Did anything rant worthy happened in those 3 weeks?

Oh yessssss. I'll make a rant post sometime soon, which was inspired by a moment where I was so close to saying:

Quoting Quinn Fabray from Glee, "I think you just set the feminist movement 50 years back with that."

Stay tune for that.

What books are you planning to read?

The collection of ebooks in my laptop which also have the 10th installment of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Books I'm gonna borrow from the library. Books I plan to buy, which is gonna inculde the latest from Jodi Picoult.


What are you gonna cook this semester break?

Since it will be Ramadhan super soon, I don't know. I'm just going to pig out now before fasting starts. And drink tons of water.

About the picture...

Oh, that picture was taken at a wedding. I'll do a post on that soon. Hopefully. But here's another picture from that event.

Picture First, Story Later.

My Brain is a Douchebag.

I wrote this days ago. But trust me, this happens.

Most of the time, my brain is pretty nice to me. But when finals are approaching, it turns into a mega douchebag.

Last night, I was about to fall asleep around 1 in the morning when my brain suddenly decided to shout out equations that I had to use few hours earlier. Did that help me doze off? No.

Based on the two previous semesters, the level of douchebaggery would increase over time.

After this, it will take the pleasure to remind me of the things I still haven't covered every single time I'm about to nap/fall asleep.

Then, when the exam is really close I'll be sitting up in bed suddenly, cold sweat from the thought my brain just sent with such clear clarity.

"You will get a B fail."

And on the day of the exam, it will decide to take some overtime by poking at me with "You'll forget everything the moment you see the questions." which can get really convincing.

So by the time I'm sitting behind the desk, writing down my name while waiting for the time to start, I'll be pale, hands shaking, heart beating fast while my mouth runs dry.

Once its all over, my brain would repeat the process for the next subject.

Until I finish all of them.

Then, my brain will take a holiday where it will occasionally pop up to remind me.

"Remember how you answered that question wrong? That just kicked your A to a C"

Once a week till I get my results. It will even make me dream of failing my finals in my sleep.

Oh joy.

Ten Minutes to Midnight.

I wrote this last night while being so sleepy. So excuse the sentences/mistakes. The first exam went okay-ish. I hope.

Its 29 minutes to midnight, 29 minutes to Saturday. 9 hours and 29 minutes to my first paper.

My body is so exhausted that I spent the last 90 minutes reading my notes, muttering to myself the 11 steps of the Directed Data Mining Methodology. I've lived on 8 hours of sleep since Wednesday. No, I didn't spent the rest studying. Well, half were spent studying/discussing/wishy washy around with my notes in front of me.

Its become routine for me to wake up at 8-8.30 in the morning. Read, write notes while taking frequent short breaks by playing Peggle or watching 5 minutes from an episode of House.

I haven't talked to Mokesart since Monday night. He's been MIA, I've been studying with such a lack of good internet connection. Let me give you a recap on how my week went so far.

Monday: Woke up at 8.30, studied/watched House, spend time in library for about 4 hours, have dinner, study then sleep.

Tuesday: Holed myself up in my room, studying/watching House/play games.

Wednesday: Studied in the morning, went to study with friends in Starbucks. I was really hungry for my first meal at 3pm so I bought an Iced combination from Krispy Kreme. Did you know that they got some donuts that aren't overly sweet?
Had dinner, go back, studied.

Thursday: Woke up at 8, was at library by 10.30 before having lunch at 3.30. Stayed till closing time at 6 (I fully believe that libraries should be 24-Hours). Got back to room at 10 minutes to 7. And then, went to another library at 8. Stayed till 12, went for late late dinner and was in bed at 3.

Friday: Woke up at 7.55, cried "I neeed more sleeeep" into my pillow before getting ready. Went breakfast with friends, arrived at library at 10. Had lunch. Discussed topics. Starbucks' Happy Hour, my Dark Mocha was half price. No, I'm not wide awake. Had dinner of Naan bread. And here I'am.

Ten minutes to midnight.

Tuesday Morning.

Usher is crooning "I'm your man, you're my girl, I'm gonna tell the whole wide world" in my ear as I sit here, 20 mins to 9am of Tuesday. Beside my laptop is the pile of books I'm becoming a slave to. Oh how I wish its a pile of books by J.R. Ward, Stephen King and Marian Keyes instead of "Survival Models and Their Estimation", the answer guide to that book and my notebook.

I've started mentally counting the hours I spend studying everyday though I know that its the quality, rather than the quantity as proven by last semester. Which just reminds me of the heavy expectation on my shoulders. My parents haven't said anything but from their casual questions on my exam schedule, I know what they're hoping.

Trust me, I have my pride pushing me on.

Beside me is a mug of instant coffee, luke warm and just waiting for my first sip, unlike the half empty bottle of mineral water. Hah, just proven to you guys that I'm the half empty glass kinda person.

I'll be going to the library today, study and discuss with friends. Then after dinner, I'll try to put in some more hours. Unlike the popular method of students, I don't stay up late to study. If I do, I'll be sleeping till noon, wasting the day and messing up my body's schedule. So I had to turn down a friend's invitation of studying all night at the library with her and another friend.

"You got brown eyes, like no one else."

The coffee is bitter and milky in my mouth. Perhaps I should start studying a bit, before I get the call that we're going to the library.

That Pain.

I honestly don't envy the people who goes through life never feeling that way. To never feel that hopeful pain which in my opinion, belongs to the list of things that changes someone. Perhaps, it will make you feel pathetic but then, in the long run it might just make you grow up a bit more.

I've grown up plenty the past year.

Confession No.37

For I have not known,

Temptation till now.

Oh, You're So Modest.

"Oh you're just being modest."

Modesty is something sensitive. If you don't be all modest, you're seen as cocky. If you overdo it, its really annoying and borders with holier-than-thouness.

I've known this girl who praised me to the sky when I got high marks for a test, but when she's one of the highest she goes on how it was just luck and that it took her double the effort to get those marks.

The same thing goes for nearly every single test and I'm told that I'm rich when I buy a new book.

It smacked of something icky and it was annoying as hell.

I've known people who really grabbed onto their "weakness" and squeeze the self pity juice out of it.

Like, how they didn't score a well for a subject.

"You know me, I'm dumb when it comes to so and so."

Or how they don't have the fucking stupid standard of Asian beauty aka fair skin.

"I'm so dark."

To the first, I pffted and rolled my eyes, telling them they're crap.

To the second, I told them that Akon is dark. Black, if you must. And that being fair skinned doesn't mean you're pretty.

Oh, but isn't this a bit of Hanis being a hypocrite?

I've said to Mokesart numerous times of me being ugly/fat/not so pretty but let me tell you, its not me being "modest". Its me being realistic of how fucked up the society is.

When I say "Who wants to be my boyfriend?" it doesn't mean I'm feeling self pity. It means that I pity the guys who's missing out this fine piece of specimen.

Even though I can say that I'm gorgeous, amazing, wonderful and a total great catch, I still get my down phases but still, I don't go all "humble" on your asses.

And when I do, Mokesart is ready to give me a cyber smack on the back of my head. (Yes, this is sappy-ish)

And when I go "I can't do this subject, I'm going to faillll!!"

It is just me being dramatic and panicky. I know I'm smart enough and when I fail, its usually due to my laziness and super bad time management.

So, stop being so "modest", be realistic.

Stop your self pity, pity the people who don't see your amazingness.

*bows*

Untitled Story.

Due to being busy + shitty internet + still feeling sick, I'm making up for it with this short story I wrote. I'll be blogging this weekend, hopefully. I plan to show you my schedule for the upcoming month. So, do read, comment and if you're nice, read my old posts.




The Doctor.


The clock's ticking was the only sound in the office. The man behind the desk was reading the last entry he wrote in the log book he had on his desk. The salt and pepper fringe over his forehead didn't hide the line between his brows, or the worry in his eyes. He pressed a button on the telephone.

"Can you cancel the rest of my appointments for the week Miss Green?"

"Very well Doctor."

You pay my salary, you get whatever you want.

His last client had somewhat took the breath out of him barely 30 minutes ago. It was a man in his early 30's, full of denial of the tragic event that fell on him 3 months ago. So the Doctor thought from the moment he first met the man 3 weeks ago until 30 minutes ago.

He was unaware. Surprised. Shocked. The way his eyes widened when the Doctor had asked him in the most gentle manner of how he was coping with the death.

"What death Doctor?"

Oh denial.

"Your wife's."

The words were half whispered but the effect was physically seen. Hurt. Shock. His head had swivelled to the left, his lips trembling.

"You're not dead."

The Doctor taught it was meant for him but when his client went into a conversation with an unseen person beside him, the Doctor knew.

The Man

"That man is out of his mind."

He had went on about the sanity, the professionalism, the validity of the Doctor's license from the moment he had stormed out of the office, into the car before driving back home at an unreasonable speed.

Beside him, the woman stared out of the window with sadness in her eyes. Her fingers curled around the edges of her knees as the car slowed down and swerved into their driveway.

"I should complain about him to the Board."

He killed the engine, muttering darkly as he went to open the passenger door, not noticing how pale his wife was as he led her into their house. Their sanctuary.

Taking off his jacket, the man hung it on a hook with an air of determination. He's going to go into his study and get the Doctor's license revoked. Then, he'll take his lovely wife out for an early dinner.

Its been a long time since they've went out. Since the terrible loss they experienced.

"I'm going to make some calls."

"Don't."

'I won't let him get away with what he said today."

"But he was telling the truth."

Lies, all lies.

The Wife

She stood at the doorway of the study they shared. Two big desks facing each other in front of the big window. The only light came from the streetlights outside, the room as dark as her husband's denial.

He had sat behind his desk for the past hour, occasionally muttering under his breath. His face still had that stricken look from her words. When he spoke, he sounded like death.

"When did you.. when did it happened?"

"3 months ago. The miscarriage."

"But I thought they said you'll be okay."

"I lost too much blood."

She had woken up, fully aware that things had changed. Wondering why she didn't move on to the other side until she saw her husband sitting beside her bed. He had smiled at her and her heart broke. She knew what he didn't.

So she had stayed with him for 3 months, telling him she took off time from work to cope with losing the baby. He in turn, had decided they needed to see the Doctor for some counselling.

When you're in denial, you ignore so many obvious clues.

In the two heartbeat of silence, she knew what his mind is thinking.

"I can't stay much longer."

The pained nod her husband gave made the tear run down her cheek.

With June Comes Planning.

Finals is starting end of this month, up to mid of July. Then on the 21st, the holy month of fasting will start which means that for the first time in my 23 years, my birthday is during a fasting month.

Right now I'm just thinking how much information I need to cram, understand and absorb. I'm feeling a heavier burden compared to last semester. God.

This time around the schedule is not as insane as before. No 3 papers in a row. No cramming in 5 papers in 10 days. I'm thankful for that but still, I need to set up my studying schedule. What subject to study when. This might seem silly to others but for me, its done to stop me from panicking.

You know, the panicking where you feel like there's plenty of other topics in other subjects for you to study. But then if you want to study another subject, you realised that you know shit on the one you're currently trying to study. BOOM.

That is how, boys and girls, I once found myself curled up in a blanket, crying that I'll fail. (Well, I did but that's like in my dark diploma days)

Yes, I do offer my services in helping you plan your studying. Haha. For a fee of a book.

Talking of books, I try to not buy any a month before finals in order to motivate myself in getting through those exams. But then, this is when there's this bookstore holding a stock clearance sale. While another is selling books for half the normal price. God, why now?

With that, I end this post with my normal welcoming of a new month.

How My Days Went.

I had such plans for this one week holiday. Such grand self enjoying plans.

I was going to watch a movie, write up some notes, blog plenty and finish up some assignments. But as they say about the best laid plans, it didn't go that way.

After taking care of a sickly brother, it was perhaps the most logical thing to happen. I fell sick myself. I was feverish, experincing pain in every single muscle and joint, coughing and even got a bit hallucinating the first night.

I got better but that was just the meds because I got sick again. And before I knew it, its nearly the end of my week off.

*sheds tear*

Oh well, here's a funny story that made Mokesart laughed. Yesterday in the car, my brother changed to his playlist from the radio. Which led to me whining to change it back. He then told me that he'll change it back if I can sing along to one of the songs.

His playlist = Eminem, Linkin Park etc.

He clearly thinks I only know Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and One Direction.

So Mama laughed so hard when I managed to sing to Eminem's Lose Yourself and Papa Roach's Scar.

Word of advice: If you want to win, choose songs that weren't hitting the airwaves often.

Now, its my 3rd nap time of the day.

Adios.

When One Thing Goes Wrong, Another Follows.

Its my 2nd one week break of this semester. Its only been 2 days in but god, its been so hectic.

First of all, my phone's touchscreen killed itself few days ago, then when I got back home on Friday afternoon, my half of my laptop keyboard decided to join A,Q and Z in their early retirement plan. With no notice.

Of course I got a mini hissy fit where Mama told me to calm my ass down (nicely) and to think logically. So on Saturday, I set off to get some things done.

1. Pick up my new glasses
2. Send in my phone to be repaired
3. Buy a USB keyboard

My glasses look perfect. A nice green but I'm still in love with my old black with white swirly designs one.

Apparently, the touchscreen is not under waranty and it would cost me 100 ringgit ish to get it repaired, and there's no guarantees it would stay functional for eternity as long as I use it. So, I'm now using this old phone, where there's not even Snake on it for me to play. And yes, some of the buttons require patience.

I bought a pretty keyboard which I'm using right now.

Today, is my cousin's wedding. Yesterday, my parents went over to help with things. Malaysian or Malay weddings are soooo family oriented that the whole family comes together and helps out. But then *Dum dum DUM*, my brother got really sick yesterday, with a super high fever.

Which led to us both staying at home (so I can take care of him) where I spent the day cooking, buying those fever patches, taking care of him and frankly, falling sick myself.

I spent 20 minutes sitting on the shower floor, with the water running while I sang Call Me, Maybe. Mokesart said:

"You're either ill or depressed."

I think its a mix of both. No, I'm not depressed from taking care of my brother but from something that happened earlier last week. But then, I think I did pretty well for my Financial Eco test and the lecturer asked me if I could do the questions. Which is always good for me, when the lecturer remembers my name. Most of the time, when the lecturer remembers me and ask me things, I get an A in that subjet.

Yes, I think my mind is moving a bit too fast at the moment due to my activities this weekend. I'll be blogging more with my new keyboard in between trying to squeeze in some studying and assignment doing.

To my cousin, May you have a wonderful loving marriage till the end of your lives.

Words oh Words.

Got a secret,

Don't keep it,

Whisper to me,

It won't pass my lips.

I tried writing a poem yesterday. I knew what I wanted to say. It was to represent the state of my emotions. But for the first time, words failed me.

There were bits so clear in my mind but I didn't know to get to that part. My fingers curled around my pen in frustation before scribbling out my weak attempts.

The short thing up there? Its not the poem I want to write. I had a title for it. The Curse of the Imagination. I wanted to write on how it creates butterflies, plots and such wonders. But then it also pave the road to disappointment.

Le sigh.

I'll just let it stew around more before attempting it again

Music Lessons Planning.

One of the biggest regrets of my childhood is the fact that my parents didn't sent me to any musical classes. No piano lessons, violins or even tap dance.

There might be a slight bit of resentment since my brother took guitar lessons for about 2 years at an age where I begged my parents to let me take drum lessons. But with myself approaching the next phase of my life aka workinghood, I know that I might be able to pay for those lessons myself.

But the thing is that I don't have a specific instrument in mind. I also don't think I'm up to learning from the very bottom. I'm more of the person who listens to a song and thinks "I wish I can play this song on a piano/guitar/drum set/violin."


For instant, I want to be able to tell people that I can play Vivaldi's Storm on a violin. *imagines Mokesart smacking the back of my head, telling me to aim for something easier*


Or, to play the guitar to Hey Monday's 6 Months. Or the drums for Fun's We are Young. Of course, let's not forget some Taylor Swift's songs.


I think apart from Storm, most of the songs I want to learn aren't that complicated (Might be very wrong since I'm music blind)


So if I ever get married to a music-inclined person Mokesart, I'll make him teach me what I can before finding me hot instructors. That is, after he teach me how to pirate properly and not just listen to the wonderfully addictive song.

Do what you want, Cause a pirate is free, You are a pirate *dances to the song*