Monday, March 7, 2016

How Old Am I?

I'm turning 27 in July this year and the only time I don't feel 24, is when another acquaintance gets married/engaged/have a kid.

Which is perhaps, once a week to be honest.

My biological clock went on silent mode, not sending me those "Let's have a baby" notifications all my unmarried friends are getting. - Thank god.

I feel 27 when someone gets married/engaged cause there is this part of me deep inside that seems to send out a melancholic notification - "When is it my turn?" but then I hit the snooze button right away and focus on my next trip.

I feel 35 when a "well-meaning" relative/acquaintance ask me when I am gonna get married cause obviously I have to soon since my 23 year old female cousin just did last week. I try to not be rude to these people but here is the reply that comes up in my head:

"Let me just call up the 10 guys who is on the waiting list to just set up an appointment with my parents so we can discuss and barter the terms. Like, obviously I have a line of men just waiting to get married to me and the only reason I am still single is cause of my ego/need for independence/to sow wild oats/want to accumulate more money. LIKE OBVIOUSLY."

My mom have come up with a nice reply to those questions:

"Oh why, do you have someone to introduce to Hanis?"

It kills the questions, kills the busybody and slays it all. Thank you mom.

I am thankful for my colleagues who just scoff and say I am still young.

I do feel young.

Thursday, February 25, 2016



I am back.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

A New Start, Not the End.

Hey there,

The reason I haven't been posting on here much is because I feel like I have to censor my thoughts and opinions posted online at times. This is more due to work and future work you know?

So I decided to start a new blog dedicated to travel and food. The two things I love, especially as I realised being a travel writer is a dream of mine.

Please visit my new blog.

For those who wants to know the url, it is:

I'll try to blog on here once in a while, if I can come up with a non scandalous topic.

Thank you.

Lots of love.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Make, Make Me Up.

My name is Hanis. And I am becoming a makeup ... addict.

Not to the point where I don't leave the house without some on. Or the point where people won't know me if I don't wear any. But to the point where I end up buying 3 tubes of NYX Soft Lip Matte Cream because I justified the need of 3 different shades.

Note: There is no such thing as too many shades. There will be a time where you would feel like wearing an orangey lipstick. Or a fire engine red.

It started with a impulsive buy around Ramadhan last year where I told myself I might need a proper lipstick, just in case. So I got myself Silky Girl Moisture Boost in Wine Red.

Note: A dark purple red colour can do wonders for you, and its a great start for a strong colour but not something bright.

It then moved on to me buying a new tube of mascara. A tub of Loose Powder for the face. And before I knew it (Actually I was aware of every single purchase) I was owning quite a number of makeup items. I was even ordering stuffs from the Makeup Revolution UK website as it was cheaper and have more items than the Malaysia ones.

At the last count, I had:

A Beauty Blender (amazing near flawless foundation applicator)
A 12 piece makeup brush set (I only use 6)
A blush palette
2 eyeliners
BB cream
4 mascaras
2 eyeshadow palettes
Some highlighters
Some individual blushes
A  make up fixing spray
9 shades of lipsticks
And of course, makeup remover.

I am planning to buy more, especially a finishing powder, a green primer (for redness) and maybe some bronzer. (Yes Moke, I need that).

Before you start to imagine me in very thick makeup, do stop.

I usually wear makeup to work. Foundation, eyeliner, mascara, highlighter, lipstick and blush. For dates? I skip the eyeliner, lipstick and blush because I don't want to reapply lipstick and wonder if my eyeliner is still okay.

I go to the gym and shop barefaced.

I still think I am gorgeous without makeup but wearing some at times I choose to feels like dress up for me.

Note: Sometimes I go out with a thin layer of primer + bb cream to cover up the way my skin gets red sometimes.

On the note of my skin, its in a pretty good condition due to supplements and antibiotics. I also make sure to cleanse and use face masks when I can (or don't fall asleep first).

I am still a novice about this whole thing (still can't draw a straight eyeliner line on my left eye) and can be found watching tutorials on youtube while I am on the train ride home.

No contouring for me, as that is really misguiding people and I don't want to do that. Anyway, this is the most recent update about me and I swear I'll post the HK and Istanbul posts once I can use the computer at home.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Night of 15th February.

I dreamt of you. After that first conversation twenty three months ago. It has been quite some time that I shed tear at the thought of you. In fact, been quite some time I had any emotions over the thought of you. Apart from the usual "God, why is he so beautiful?" whisper in my head when I see a picture of you.

I dreamt that I was waiting for you. Not waiting for you to come to me, but for me to obtain closure. To look you in the eyes, smile and thank you for the inspiration you unknowingly gave my muse. No mention  of how I used to curl up from emotional pain over a guy I have never met in person. No mention of how I once thought you were perfect. No mention of the bad and ugly side that lays hidden under the rock.

I dreamt that I had nerves made of steel as I stood in front of the door, watching the people leaving the building. I had my phone in my hand, fingers gripping the sides as I told myself to not run away. My eyes were torn between searching for you and looking at the ground. Oh I was scared to my bones, scared of the reaction on your face.

I dreamt that I missed you. That you have taken another route. Despair filled the holes in my soul as I gave up. My shoulders sagged with dissapointment as closure had escaped my grasp. I walked to a bus stop, fingers digging into my palms as I wonder if I could dig up enough courage for another attempt in the future.

I dreamt that we saw each other at the same time. Your brows dipped slightly as you stared at me, recognition dawning. My breath got caught in my throat, held back the vowels of your name. Your lips quirked upwards slightly before you said my name.

"I was looking for you."

"You were?"

"At the .. front door."

"And here I am."

I dreamt that you were so beautiful.

I woke up.


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