A Letter to Someone.

Dear You,

It was an amazing 3 months of being friends with you.

I want that to be the first thing you read cause I know you know this blog exists. In fact, you had snooped through it and commented on the idiot I once dated.

How are you?

Its been a month, half a month since I have given up. Logic and some persuasion from worldly friends told me that you're doing the right thing.

Its either that, or you're just being a first class asshole. (I prefer this one because it lets me be angry and pissed off at you, hence tons of evil wishes are sent to you via my thoughts).

Today I realised why I was so intent in believing the worst of you until another friend made me see the other possibilities. 

When I am angry at you, I don't have to admit that I miss you.

I don't have to admit that I miss the conversations we had in the mornings, and the way you can get serious within a moment from being funny. The way you would ask me my opinion because it interests you to know how a Gen Y might think.

That career advice you gave me? What if I needed more advice in a year or so? Who should I turn to and ask, knowing the answer will be made of honesty, experience and no bullshit at all.

That love/life advice you sternly word out to me. I was wide eyed, showing my age when you told me that someone's refusal might not have to do with me, but its just them not looking for anything at that time. And then you added on; "Why bother with people who are not interested in you? Move on, to the next."

Oh how ironic that one is now.

I miss you because you made me realise the kind of person I want to be. The kind of person I want to be with.

I read somewhere that some people are meant to be in your life for a short time, but would affect you greatly. I think you're one of those people.

I might have given away the hand painted note book I chose for you in Istanbul. I still have the postcards though. I considered sending it to your office, but that just screams "Stalker Chick" so if you want it, just inform me.

And oh, those jokes I always make? I never meant it. I'm too selfish for that.

Before I fully let myself feel sad, remember that song you got me hooked on?

I have to admit, I listen to it and think of you. Every time. 

Sincerely,

Hanis.