Monday, June 6, 2011

Random Letter No.5

Dear Random Person No.5

Please please please stop doing these on Facebook:

1. Posting pictures of you:

a) In your "La Senza" boxers. Its tacky. Not sexy.

b) With a "I'm in the middle of an orgasm" face. Its ugly by the way.

c) Showing your face and bare thigh. I swear, my eyes are burning.

d) Taking a sip with a straw. Leave that for Craiglist.

2. Putting up statuses that smacks of self-whoring.

a) Ones of how people keep saying you look like ethicity A when you're only like, less than 50% of it. Oh yes, you don't look like one of them anyway.

b)About how pretty your hair is, according to other people.

c)How people keep adding you up and wanting to get with you. That just means you have that DTF air around you.

3. Butchering the English language.

4. Trying to act as if you're some wordly, open-minded sexually aware person. You look dumb. Seriously. If you want an open minded sexually aware person, look at me. Difference is that I don't go post such "sexual" statuses and act like a Facebook slut.

5. Keep updating on your whereabouts and what you're having for lunch and how you're going offline. I sense an attention seeking whore who might just get a creepy stalker one day.

6. Blowing your horn on your height.

7. Going how you're so fat, like omg, so so fat. Bitch, I'm fat. Not you.

8. Telling it all about your relationships on your wall. The same goes for your friends.

9. Bitching on how people can't judge you, and only your parents can. You know ... you asked for it, basically. I met your father once, absolutely nice fellow. I was SHOCKED to know you're his child. Yes, that is insulting you.


Oh yes, why are you still on my friends list? Well, I need to know that I'm not as pathetic as some. And to anyone who tells you straight that you're a Facebook whore, well, I'm going to write a wonderful letter of congratulations for them on my blog.

Ever so honestly,

9 comments:

Experiment House said...

Ooh. Pictures please? xD (Just kidding…don't hit me). *waits for follow up letter*

Furree Katt said...

oh wow. that person sounds like a total douche! *cringes*

InnocentlyGreen said...

If only there was just one person similar to this...

r.alsharif said...

Just take them off your profile!

Beyond Timid said...

A guy posting slutty pictures and statuses? Lol. I hate high-maintenance dudes like that. Especially those that like to reveal too much. Laying low is hotter. ;)

bavli said...

whattayy freak show.
Mr.I am desperate and I am not afraid to show it off .

PurpleMist. said...

LOL, this person sounds pathetic!

iZaynab said...

My my, iHave the same exact thoughts.
Like those sad updates on people life's.
STFU, tell it to your friends not to the world.

Hanis. said...

@Beyond & Bavli, its a girl! Which makes me more irk. But I do have another facebook friend who loves to overshare,even about how he's having dinner at so-and-so. But Beyond, you've put in my mind of a hot guy on facebook ;D

Yes, she is a pathetic person. Most of my friends who are putting sarcastic statuses about her(minus name) are blocked. Just not me.

@ R.alsharif, but its entertainment. In a way.

@iZaynab, her friends are just like her. I don't even know half of them and I read countless break-up/caught him cheating stories on her wall. Its like, a tell-all session.

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