Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Letter to C.
The reason this letter is not too angsty is because its been more than 2 years which is long enough for me to appreciate what I've become after it all. I have also healed and became wiser. Do read. I swear this is not as uncomfortable as the letter to E.
People say that love makes people become stupid. I say, my love for you made me an idiot. In the sense of where I let my self worth get hacked at until it is no longer a strong tower that it was once in my high school days. Before you, I never thought myself as ugly. I was neutral when it came to my looks till I met you.
People say I'm still bitter over you after 2 years, 5 months and 13 days. Don't flatter yourself, I'm so over you and I no longer dream of torturing you with a rusty teaspoon. Those were the days, eh?
Let me put it simply. You're simply a guy with an inflated self esteem who feel the need to make himself feel better by criticising others. Yes, the first 3 months or so was fun but then, I admit its more of my fault than yours, I let you treat me miserably.
Oh I was blind and stupid.
Which is why I want to thank you. You're the one who managed to make me stop being one of those naive, hopelessly romantic girls who believe in their boyfriend's every single word. Call me bitter but for me, I now know that never to trust a guy 100% because hey, they can just turn around and hurt you so much.
C, I'm a gorgeous, smart and amazing woman, even when I was with you. You were just used to your lower standard hence why you struck out against me with your suggestions. What do I mean? Remember when you told me that the ideal weight for my height is 95-115 lbs and you told me I should be 95 lbs? That helped me because now, I'm stronger than ever and I'm loud in voicing my opinion on men and their "ideal beauty" expectations they put on women.
If a guy wants a girl to be like a Victoria's Secret model, they better be like an Ambercrombie & Fitch's model.
Let me quote Christina Aguilera in this: Thanks for making me a fighter.