Random Letter No.3

Dear Random Person No.3,

I've tried so hard. I cursed. I lined my heart with steel. I pumped up my self-will with steroid so it will be stronger. My head keep telling me "Hanis, give up. Its been years. Just fucking give up," and my heart, crying out with angry tears "She has tried so many times. Its not her fault she failed each and every time,"

Its stupid, right?

So do stop appearing in my dreams. Do stop appearing and being ever so sweet in them. Do stop making me sigh in happiness before waking up in sadness. I'm not willing to put my heart on a block and let your straight-to-the-point rejection blade take more than few fair sized slices out of it.

All I see is that you have to stop being in my thoughts, an uninvited presence or just come in straight into my life and be who I want you to be. Until that, which is never going to happen, please stop visiting me at night in my dreams.

Love, Hanis.