Dear people I meet at weddings/family gatherings,
First of all, I know you're somewhat related to me. Secondly, god I wish you weren't. Thirdly, you seriously need a lesson in Polite Conversations.
"Oh my, you're bigger than your mother."
"Wow, you've gotten so big."
Those, aren't polite conversations. Hell, its only allowed to stay in your mind. Do not come to me, smiling and tell me those things. You even expect me to laugh it off.
I won't mind so much if you're some silly teenager age. But when you're at least my mom's age, you're just being a bitch.
The fun thing is, people wonder why I dislike weddings so much. I don't mind the "When will be your turn?" because hey, I'm not desperate enough to marry some loser like the bride at the moment.
So, next time someone tells me how big I'am, here's some of the replies they might get.
"Wow, you've gotten so many wrinkles."
"Oh my, you look a bit tired, menopause much?"
"My oh my, looks like someone's approaching their life's deadline."
No, I won't say those things. But I'll just raise my brow and in my cool voice:
"Wow, so polite of you."
That's one person off the guest list for my wedding one day.