Hide but Don't Seek.

I know a girl who loves to hide. When she was a kid, her favourite game would be Hide and Seek. As she grew, she still loved to hide - just not in a game with a group of friends but from the world.


Sometimes she wishes she was invisible when people look at her with distaste. When they have "look at the fat girl" written on their faces. She feels apologetic when she sits, wanting to bend low over her desk so the person behind her won't be deprived of the whiteboard. She hears the eyeballs roll, as they lean to the side slightly just to catch a glimpse of what's being written. She feels like an elephant sitting in a room full of deers.


At times, she wants to hide in her room. Hide under the covers, under the bed, anywhere. Hiding herself from the demands and expectations that rest heavily on her shoulders. She wants to turn a deaf ear to her mother calling for another chore. Or dad saying her name in dissapointment. She's often tempted to curl up with the dust bunnies under the bed, whispering to herself that if she does it long enough, they'll give up eventually.


And once in a while, she'll be unlucky enough to like someone. Allow herself to have feelings. She feels silly because she gets notions that, perhaps, they'll return the feelings too. Do they? Never. The guy's gaze will just slide over her as if she isn't there.


They don't give her a second thought. A moment's worth of time. She feels small sitting or standing there. Weeping inside as her heart starts to break again. She wants to hide herself from the rejection. Or just hide her heart and be an ice queen.


She still love to hide. Maybe one day she'll just dissapear into thin air and things will be better for her. One can hope. True?