Charming My Way Through Life.

*skips into my room, bringing a pretty box*

This is the post that I mentioned a while ago. Its the post explaining how I kept myself occupied during my first week of uni.

I found this lovely site where the lady makes jewelry which consisted mostly of bracelets and necklaces. It is one of my more girly habit of admiring such trinkets.

Such admiring led to me emailing her which led to me browsing the site for ideas.

Ideas?

What for?

Well ... for a customised piece. To be more precise, for my very own charm bracelet.

I dragged Mokesart into the whole choosing process. My enthusiasm was contagious because soon:

Hanis: Look at this flower, this one and this one too.

Mokesart: Hmm. Oooh. I like the 2nd one but perhaps in blue.

Yes. It took most of 2 days.

The lady was very nice, patient with my demands.

Hanis' Demands

8 very specific charms, completed with the various links of each one from her blog.

The arrangement style, which certainly took me some time to look for. There were like, a bajillion styles. It was like being in a bookstore filled with every single book that will ever interest me.

The whole ordering part took about 3 days. Payment followed (50 ringgit including delivery) and then it was made. Delivered but then ... the postman came over when no one was home. So today, I went to pick it up and I just love it.

Here's some pictures of it:

Yes, those are a H, cookie jar, carousel, castle, bunch of keys, globe, book and a feather.

H- Hanis

Cookie jar- The temptations of life which I sometimes, dip my had into.

Carousel- The child in me.

Castle- It reminds me of Cinderella's castle which of course reminds me of one of to-do things. Go to every single Disney theme park.

Bunch of keys- I'm the one holding the keys to my happiness, my dreams and my success.

Globe- I'm going to travel the world one day.

Book- My first love, reading.

uill- My second love, writing.

Yes, this charm bracelet is very personal to me.

Here's another picture.

Haha.

I encourage you to visit her blog and Etsy. Perhaps you'll find something you like (yes, she deliver internationally).

*skips off*

Good, Nice, Bad?

I've seen so many statements/opinions regarding this particular finnicky subject. It is a topic that some might say mysterious or plain ludicrous. What matter is it? Well, some might term it as:

What kind of a guy does girls want.

I'm sticking to that. Using my birth right as a woman, I can confidently answer that for me, I have no freakin idea.

To put it in a simple context, let's put aside the physical part and touch on one section which I've read like, a trillion times in the mags I read.

Good guys vs Bad boys.

Le sigh.

How do I put it? Well, everything that is written after this is purely Hanis' opinion so do not bash me. I don't even have a specific body type that I like in a guy. Its the person itself as a whole that attracts me.

First of all, I've read on some guys complaining how being the good guy has made them ended up being friendzoned by the very girl who bitched on how she wants a good guy who won't break her heart like the last asshole.

Hmm. There's the good guy and there's the nice guy. There's a thin line between those two. Its as fine as the line between the girl who's saving herself and the virginal prude.

Does that put the point across clearly?

I'm not dissing nice guys but sometimes, they can be such sticks in the mud. Let me give you an example.

Girl: Oh, B is a good guy. <--- Read how she says good, as in giving approval of his core character.

Girl: Oh, C is a nice guy. <--- Yawn. Nice. Friendzoned level 99.

I think most girls want that guy to be a mixture of both good and bad. Yes, some even nurse the fantasy of taming the bad boy.

Pfffft. Honey, stop watching those movies and reading those romance novels. That ain't happening.

Come to think of it, some girls want the bad boy as a way of rebelling. Or a way to know the other side of the fence. *shrugs* I never got into those bad ass guys. Unless its Draco Malfoy.

Maybe a girl just want a good guy who is rebelling slightly. Who might open up her eyes to the world. Who'll take her hand and lead her into adventures she herself is afraid of starting on alone.

But yes, being too nice does get you friendzoned. Don't be a jerk by telling your girl friend to stfu when she's bitching about the asshole. Just perhaps, tell her to listen to herself and do something about it. Like, bitching to the asshole before dumping his ass.

You'll get more respect that way and hey, she might look at you differently. No guarantees.

Now this is perhaps something I've never admitted to anyone but I see the appeal in a guy who might be just a bit fucked up. That .. novelty. That "I can help him." feeling. God. Its addictive. I've been through it. No, you won't be the love of his life. You'll just be another girl. Or at most, the girl who helped him move on before finding the love of his life (which is so not you).

Well, that's it. Oh, what kind of guy I want? I told you. I have no freakin idea. But I can say that he has to be prepared to take me to all of the Disney theme parks. Of course not in one go. Silly.

Words. Hurt. Relationships. Kill.

She was once strong. Very strong. But then, she fell in love.

The first left her with a belief that people's happiness are above hers.

The second last saw her on her knees, holding onto her broken self esteem.

She gave it another shot, foolishly so.

He thought her as weak. With scorn, he told her so in the most unrefined way with words. He didn't see the way a tiny fraction of the light in her eyes died. He saw the stiffening of her spine, the stubborn raise of her chin as arrogance. He accused her of no self respect.

He had no idea.

Confession No.32

That travel plan? I'm cancelling it.

The 2nd part to it is not even going to help.

Confession No.31

I swear every time I see you, I want to nibble on you.

I don't mean that in a "I'm hungry" way.

Yes, I mean it the other way

.

Session Four.

Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My future husband. Haha.

Well, to make this sound so cliche, I'm looking forward to see the person who will help bring out the best in me, and who will go to all the Disney theme parks with me.

I mean

What is your favorite form of exercise?

For now, I like walking. Walking until my legs feel funny. Until I can feel the drops of sweat sliding down my back. Its much easier to get ready for a walk, compare to go swimming. I still like swimming, but for now, walking first.

Why my last relationship ended.

Official relationship or non official?

Haha. Relationship can be between two friends, or two people who ... adore the other.

Distance. Difference. Lies. It was doomed from the start.

Enough said.

Favorite football club.

Erm, well, I don't really watch football.

Concerts I've been to.

Other than my brother's concert back in pre-school, none. Mama won't let me I don't like crowds. Even the thought of spending my money on a ticket.... Well. Yeah. I might go to one one day but who knows.

Now I think of it, I would rather lie in bed with the air conditioning on, heavy rain outside with my earphones on, my favourite songs playing while reading a book. Tell me that doesn't sound just as fun, and cheaper.

Your reflection in the mirror

I see a smile that shows a hint of straight teeth. I see a full face with acne scars (and some acne). I see dark brown eyes that crinkle at the sides when I smile. I see black hair darker than my black t shirt. I see a glint of the necklace Mama gave me as a child. I see longing. Hope. Desire. I see me.

Lines Oh Lines.

Here is a collection of lines from a group of songs in my phone. Well, basically from the Most Played playlist. Do not judge me. Oh do guess the songs. Godchild if you get half of them.

I wonder what was wrong with you, Cause how you give your love to someone else and share your dreams with me.

The coup de grace that set me off, Would've made for decent fiction.

The tears that will fall, Means nothing at all, You have to get over yourself.

Did you regret, Ever standing by my side.

Cause you're a criminal as long as you're mine.

You popped my heart seams, all my bubble dreams, bubble dreams.

Tonight, Out on the street in the moonlight, Damn it, This feels just too right.

We were young, We were wrong, We were fine, all along.

Talk to the wind, Talk to the sky, Talk to the man with the reasons why, Let me know what you find.

Don't look at me.

Cause everything inside, It never comes out right, When I see you cry, It makes me want to die.

Cupid came back to me, He cried for so many nights.

What you don't understand is that, I'll catch a grenade for you.

I croak to you baby and I'll fall to your feet,I'll howl at your beauty like a dog in heat.

My illusion, My mistake, I was careless, I forgot, I did.

If love were a human it would know me, In a lost space come and show me, Hold me and control me and then, Melt me slowly down.

I decided long ago, Never to walk in anyone's shadows.

You're gonna be the one that saves me, and after all, You're my wonderwall.

Save me, I'm lost. Oh lord, I've been waiting for you.



I skipped the classical music since those are either wordless or in languages I don't understand. If you want to know which ones, just refer to Fantasia (the Disney movie not the singer).

Some of the lines above might be obvious. Some might make you Google them and then come up with few songs.

Reviewing Books.

I wish I can say I've been busy with my first week back to even post an update. But I've been home for most of the week since well, its the first week. When I go to the class, there won't be a lecturer. When I skipped it, there would be one. So, I just thought:

"Fuck this, I'll go home."

For the past few days, I've been caught with something special. Something I'll blog about. With pictures. It might be another week or two before that particular post comes up but do be patient, you'll love it.

I don't know what to post about until I realised I haven't talked about the books I read lately. So here are the reviews for some of the books I've read.

Songs of the Humpback Whale by Jodi Picoult
I love Jodi Picoult. But then, I love her books where there's someone going into court for murder or something. I find that as the fun part. But this one, is her first ever book. It was confusing. It wasn't even interesting enough for me to keep on reading even after I flipped the pages to read the ending. Since it is her first book, I think its just her before she really found her niche.

Sleepyhead by Mark Billingham
This crime/mystery/medical book starts off a bit boring. I put it down and picked it back up 2 weeks later. It gets interesting after a while with the book encouraging us to think one character is indeed the person who's killing/leaving women in comas all over town. Its not predictable which is great.

Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
This is said to be a memoir. Well, if memoir means the story of your life with a bit of exaggeration then indeed, it is a memoir. Its pretty interesting. It makes me think "Woah, there's people like that?". If you're looking for something light to read while eating alone or before you go to bed, do pick up this one.

Looking for Alaska by John Green
Well. I expected it to be as great as Perks of Being a Wallflower which might be the reason why I was reading this book with slight boredom. I finished it with a shrug and told Mokesart that it was an okay book but I wouldn't rave about it to others. This book has been recommended to me by so many but .. I think the build up of that lead to reality being less so than expectation.

Beautiful People by Wendy Holder
To be honest, I picked this book because on the cover, Glamour wrote that its "a modern day Jilly Cooper" which I must say, is totally untrue. I've read one book of Jilly and I fell in love with it. Beautiful People lacks character development. It even borders a bit on those chick lit books that are kinda superficial that I dislike them.
Note to self: Stick to Marian Keyes.

Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult
I hate the ending. It made me cry. It made me think that the whole struggle in the book was useless. But this book made me realised one thing.

In her books, there would sometimes be a normal nuclear family. Mother, father, children. When one child is the matter of importance such as the suspect or the reason a lawsuit is happening, I usually end up hating the mother. Why?

Well, in this book, Willow has OI, a condition which makes her bones so easily breakable. The mother decided to sue the obstetrician due to money constraints. Fun thing is, its her best friend. The father disagrees. The mother gets all matryr like by struggling for her daughter, neglecting her older daughter who began cutting herself and developing bullimia. Let's not forget, they nearly divorced too.

For some reason, I just hate the mother. It reminded me so much of the mother in My Sister's Keeper. But all in all, this is a Jodi Picoult novel, hence I love it.





That is all for my reviews. I'm off to read Neil Gaiman's Stardust and Carolyn Hennesy's Pandora gets Jealous.

Confession No.30

I'm waiting for the moment where I can stand back and clap my hands while I look on at the mess

.

That Pre-Semester Post.

I'm starting classes on Monday, starting out my final year of uni (hears Mama's voice saying "Finally") which I'm sure would be challenging and full of self building last minute work because that's the way I do it.

I'll be moving in to a condo just beside uni, sharing a room with 3 other girls (I've only met one) while pretending I'm living independently. Its only a ten minute walk from my faculty and 4 minutes away from the bus stop for days where I got classes at the other end of the freaking campus.

To be honest, I'm kinda excited to start classes. Not because I love learning like Hermione Granger, but I'll welcome the distraction very much. I'm not sure if the place I'll be staying in has wireless but if not, then the much better it is. Don't worry, I'll still be coming home on weekends so I might blog about what pain my subjects are.

Speaking about subjects ...

I'm finally taking my last soul sucking Arabic course this semester. I managed a B+ last semester and I'm super proud of that.

There would be 7 subjects this semester, just like the past one. I'll be as mad as I was last semester. Hopefully, I'll study harder.


Now, why do I want the distraction? Well, remember the post where I mentioned how sad I was feeling? Well, there's no exact post (I think) where I wrote:

"I'm really sad."

But there were some that had sadness as the undertone. That sadness has gotten married to anger and had a child named bitterness. I'll taste the last emotion in my mouth when I wake up, my eyes brimming with the first emotion while my hands shook with the 2nd one.

It came to the point where I wasn't talking much to Mokesart for a week or more. No, he has nothing to do with it. In fact, he's the one who's been patient and being sad seeing me sad.

I got mad at some other people. Mama noticed how I was being low that she let me eat some of the delicious cooking chocolate.

Today, after getting better then plunging back down, I deactivated my Facebook, deleted my Tumblrs, deleted some other things and I feel a bit lighter. Just a tad.

Is there a specific reason? Yes. Will I tell about it on here? Not yet. No. I don't know. I might want things to mend itself but I'm not going to do it.

Here's to hoping classes would make me feel way way better than now.

Shopping for School. I'm Becoming a Girl. Damn.

On Monday, I went out with 2 of my friends with the intention of catching a movie, stuffing my face with food before shopping. It went well, until the bill came for our lunch. I came with just enough cash for movie and lunch because I thought to myself, I'll just withdraw money for the shopping part at the mall.

Guess who left her bank card in her old purse at home?

I pouted enough to make my friend offer another shopping trip.

Which was today. I brought my bank card. I told myself:

"Shoes. Cardigan."

(You may skip this shopping part if you want)

I got myself two pairs of shoes and a yellow mustard bag. Mama went:

"God almighty Hanis."

When I showed her the bag. It took me some time to find the bag since I had a specific length and shape of the bag in my head. Thank you ajim for being so patient with me. Yes, Mama will know you're the one who chose that colour.

I also spent the last of my voucher on stationaries. I got a balance of 60 cents after buying notebooks, pens, folders and some other things. How I wish I could have used it to buy myself a book.

But here's some pictures from my lunch on Monday. Its at Italiannies, I'm not sure if you guys have it over there. It was my first time there and I fell in love with it. I want more. I present you to you, pictures taken by my friend.

Look at that happy face. I just had the best mushroom soup ever. You can see the satisfied smile on my face.
This is some .. toasted bread with the most delicious tomato thing on it, ever. If I could live on one thing for 2 days, I'll choose this one.

My pasta which consists of fettuccine in a garlicky tomato sauce with olives, chilies and bits of bacon. It didn't look much but let me tell you, I was leaning back against my seat once I finished it.

My Writings, Stories.

Some of you might know of my other blog. My writing blog. Its called Glimpses and it has some(read: few) short stories that I wrote in my spare time. I share the blog with Mokesart who edits the story before hitting that "Post" button.

Sometimes, I bully him into leaving an editor's note. He knows I'll love him if he does that.

Last week, I found an old short story I wrote. I might have mentioned this, but most of my short stories are usually scenes of a longer story, a novel perhaps. More like, an excerpt of a novel. You might think that I've written that book, but no. I write scenes.

Today, I posted that old story, one playing on emotions. I've always gravitated towards stories of love lost and betrayal. Heartbreak. I think if I ever make a writing career for myself, there's a big chance I'll be that author who writes a collection of bittersweet/heartbreaking stories for women who needs a good cry or self pity.

Mokesart thinks I'll be shitty rich if that ever happens. I seem to agree with him. Haha. So, here's the story, yes, this is a promotion of my blog. Do go read and comment, I'll really appreciate it.

Love,

Confession No.29

And you come away with a great little story

Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you.

Speech, Where I'm Thanking People.

*taps microphone*

Is this on? *hears static*

*taps again*

Hello?

Oh, its on?

*clears throat*

*unfolds the piece of paper with my speech on it*

I would like to thank my dear friend Mamon, for letting me bunk in her room and bed for about 3 weeks. Without her gracious acceptance of my bed hogging ways, I would have been stuck studying less efficiently at home. I also appreciate the wonderful food you bought me when I was too freaking lazy to buy my own.

I would like to thank my parents for sending me to campus and picking me up, day in and day out. Without mentioning the gas rate or how much money is used for gas alone that particular week. Thank you also for your belief in me when I tell them I would never ever study productively at home.

*wipe tears*

Thank you to Bella for letting me bunk in her room between classes. For letting me come in at 6.40am while every other normal being is still sleeping.

Mokesart, without your "Go STUDY" everytime I come online for more than a certain amount of time during that critical 3 weeks, I would have stayed on and not study my ass off. I really appreciate your blind belief in me when you said I'm smart.

Thank you to various classmates who dealed with my texts out of nowhere, asking them the formula to some random shit. Thank you also for letting me snap at you because you didn't get what I was explaining. My sincere apologies.

Thank you to my lecturers for marking my papers with one eye closed. How else would I have achieved my results? *insert time for crowd's laughter* But seriously, thank you.

*folds the piece of paper*

Thank you for* clears throat *for the encouragement you gave me. I lost out in the end but I gained something else.

Oh yes, the important part, I got on the dean's list for the 2nd time in a row.

*fist pumps*

*blows kisses*

Writing Prompt: Lie

This is from a prompt that caught my eye. The moment I saw it, this scene came to mind. Do enjoy.

Her lips had a curve to them, as bitter as the coffee he favours. She tilted her head to the side, her eyes sliding over his features with harsh sadness.

"I thought you were over it."

The emotions dissapeared from her face with a shrug of her shoulders. She slide on the pair of sunglasses dangling from her fingers, effectively hiding herself.

"I lied."

The lone tear sliding down her cheek were proof she was telling the truth this time around.

Baking My Emotions.

Back in highschool, I went through an emotionally torturous month that involved a little adventure in anorexia. I knew I was in deep shit after I cried myself to sleep one night. The next day, I told Mama I feel like making brownies.

I remember adding chocolate chips into those brownies, creating a gooeyness that leaves people craving for more. I did everything myself from preparing the ingredients to cleaning up. By the time I took my first bite, I felt better. I was recovering from my troubles.

Few months later, I baked a chocolate cake during my first ever heart break.

Over the years, if I ever suddenly felt like baking/cooking its because I'm stressed. Sometimes I do it after finishing my finals. Sometimes, its because I'm emotionally fucked.

Last night, I made cookies. The day before, I made chocolate lava cakes. What does that say about my emotional state?

Session Three.

Things you like and dislike about yourself.

Right now, I can't think one thing I like about myself. I'm so full of self loathing that I can list out things that I just fucking hate about myself.

My name is Hanis and I like that everytime I feel like the scum underneath a plumber's boots at my very very worst , I'm able to get back up and be the person who I was before. It might take time but I'll be back to normal.

My name is Hanis and I dislike that there's something wrong in me. I dislike that I've been very sad for some time now and that I didn't even notice it (thank you studies for distracting me). I dislike how I'm not truely confident. I dislike my insecurity. I dislike that deep down, I'll choose to have beauty in exchange of my brains. The last thing I dislike about myself is liking guys that don't like me back.


Favourite place to shop at.

Bookstore of course. Or one of those drugstores that sell hand creams, facial wash, chocolates and so much more. I swear if I'm not spending money buying books or food, I'm buying lip balm or something.

What is your relationship status?

Is there even a relationship? Haha. I'm single. I just think that guys around me don't know a good deal when they see one.

I don't know if I like anyone at the moment. I did, few weeks back. It didn't even had the chance to see if it would work out or not, so meh. I think I might be over that. Yes, there was the process of getting over something that didn't even start. Heck, we didn't even get to put our shoes on, let alone step onto the starting line.

How I’d spend ten thousand bucks.

Let me confirm first, in what currency? Ok, let's just assume its in the highest one ( I don't even bother in checking which one is it). The first thing I'll do is invest 25% of it, put in 5% in my bank before going shopping. Hahaha.

I'll buy an airplane ticket, update my passport, get a freaking visa after making plans to stay with various friends in the US while trying to survive on their good deeds aka board and food.


If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?

22. I don't know why but 22 seems like a nice age. I know, I might be prettier or even much better when I'm 32 but for now, my answer is 22.

Valentine, Blergh.

For the past few days, I've been jokingly asked some of my online friends to sign a make believe petition in cancelling what is perhaps one of the cheesiest, over-commercialised and unoriginal celebration to ever grace mankind.

Yes. Valentine's Day.

No, this has nothing to do with me being single because recently, I've come to accepted that I might just end up forever alone. I just see it as a chance to be the woman who can do whatever she wants.

This post should be put under a category with this post for the sole reason of my dislike of the cheesiness.

First of all, I don't get how people just fall for this whole bullshit. What makes me roll my eyes and throw up in my mouth is when some people make this one day the most romantic day for their relationship.

"I sooo can't wait for this year's Valentine. He told me he has something special planned."

Like, seriously? Please don't tell me you're freaking serious.

Let me tell you this.

Valentine's Day is so hyped up that most people gets carried away by it. That significant other of yours is probably just being romantic because he's been brainwashed by this celebration. He's not doing it because he was sitting there and then got this idea of appreciating/wooing you out of nowhere.

Nope.

Its not his initiative. No matter how original his date/idea is, you guys are just caught up with the Valentine's bug.


Like, honestly, I would prefer if James Franco my guy would take me on some kind of super romantic date sometime in November or June compare to sometime in February.

Be Careful What You Wish For.

I've seen this survey going around and wondered if anyone would tag me, but they didn't. So I made a wish and Boom, I've been tagged by two different people. I know. It took the life out of me to answer it all.


1. The Rules:
1.Post these rules;
2.Post 11 random things about yourself;
3.Answer the questions that tagger set for you in their post;
4.Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer; and
5.Go to their blog and tell them they've been tagged.

Mokesart

1.What was the worst thing you got caught doing at school?

In 5th grade, my homeroom teacher was the worst ever. She was a dragon. One
day, she got into a fit over people who didn't send in their homework. There were
about 6 of us. I was the last person to give my explanation. There I was, barely
eleven, watching as the 5 people in front of me tell her what is perhaps, the most
stupid reason I've ever heard.

"I lost my book."

Okay, one person tell her that? I accept it. But 5? I just thought to myself, I'll be
honest. So I told her that I forgot to do it.

2.Did you get punished for it?

Did I? I got a fucking bitch slap right across my face for being a good-for-nothing
student with no intention of studying. She then threw my book out of the classroom
and practically screamed at me to get my ass out of her class.

Can you imagine my reaction? The stupid woman accepted 5 students' lame "I lost
my book" but slapped me for my honest "I didn't do it."

From that moment, I cursed her. Few months later, her husband got transferred to
some war ridden country and we all danced in joy when she followed.

3.What occupation are you employed in/what career are you thinking about
taking up?

Hmm. I have no idea. God, I know, bad answer. But right now, I can't think of
anything I want to be. Well, let's just put aside what I'm studying.

4.Is there a point to space exploration?

Yes yes yes. I used to have this deep interest in astronomy. But then somehow, I got
into other things and here I'am, doing maths. One thing I'll say is that, if they even come up with affordable-ish space travel, I'll sign up.

5.What is your religious belief, or lack of, and why have you chosen it?

I'm Muslim. *blinks* I don't know how to answer. I know if I simply say "I was born into a family of Muslim." some would think that I have no rights blah blah. But its not like that for me. I honestly believe in my religion, let's leave it at that.

6.What number child are you, and how has the experience been for you?

I'm the first of two. There's an exaxt 7.5 year gap between me and my brother. I
think the age gap made me not act like most first borns aka a sense of
responsbility. But then, in caring for someone that young perhaps gave me more of
a sense of taking care. I have friends who think I'm an idiot for making chocolate
drinks/prepare food for my brother who's well in his teenage years.

Yes, there's a difference. But my taking care of people only applies to my brother xD

Growing up, my parents were strict and had tons of expectations. I now watch how
different they are with my brother. I often sigh and roll my eyes before telling my
parents how wrong they're doing it.

My years of an only child also made me self sufficient. In uni, I don't mind buying
food, eating, going to class by myself. I don't feel stared at. But, I'm still the shy young girl when it comes to making friends.

7.Do you have, or have you had, a nickname? If so, what, and why?

Erm. Not really. Hanis is short enough.

8.Do you have a phobia, and what is it?

Haha. I was just talking about this the other day. I don't have that severe of
phobias but enough to well, perhaps make me cry. I'm really really creeped out by
animals that has scales or sticky skin. You know, basically reptiles, fish and
amphibians. Once, a gecko landed on my bare arm, I screamed so loud before
crying as if I just had a finger chopped off.

What else?

Oh oh. I have a circle of personal space. Which makes riding a public transportation hell.

Day or night kind of person?

Hmmm. I don't stay up that late. I don't embrace the sun. I guess it depends on my
day and what I want to be done. You know? I guess, its a mix of both.

10.Do you speak more than one language?

Yes. Bahasa Melayu, English and right now, I'm learning arabic.

11.Are you artistic at all? (Music, film, drawing, photos, etc).

Does writing count?

PurpleMist

1. Have you ever shoplifted? If yes, then what did you steal?

We have coins all over the house, do I take even a dime? No. Mom gives me money to
buy things, I get change less than one ringgit. Do I keep it? No. So, I've never
shoplifted. I have this certain honesty when it comes to people's stuffs and things that don't belong to me.

2. How long can you hold your breath for?

Not for long. My lungs aren't that great which makes swimming a bit tiring for me at
times, yet I still enjoy it.

3. Are you a grammar nazi?

Only when I don't like that person. Or when I see "Your" and "You're" being mixed up. I don't have perfect grammar myself so I'm not really uptight about it.

4. What is the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

I'm not going to answer this one. Hahahahaha. I wonder who can answer this with a straight face.

5. Do you think your life will change dramatically in 2012?

Maybe. I hope so. In a good way. I'm hoping for a good academic performace and an improving self esteem.

6. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Fall in love. Lose weight. Study. Write. Eat vanilla icecream with the hard chocolate
shell. I don't know. There's so many things to do. I just don't feel like it or there's no opportunity to. But the first one is bound to happen no matter what I do, right?

7. Do you take home the shampoos/soaps from hotels?

Thanks to Mama, I tend to bring mini versions of my own shampoos/soaps from home
whenever we're staying over at hotels. The only thing I get excited for in hotels is thefree toothbrush. So, no. I don't.

8. What is your biggest pet peeve?

I don't know. I'm trying to think of it. Perhaps people who don't know how to say
thank you. Or people who bumps into me and not say sorry.

9. Last movie you watched?

Journey 2 the Lost Island. Not counting the ones I watch on tv. If that, its Definitely, Maybe. I liked that one. Ryan Reynolds is so dreamy. I've been nursing a crush on him ever since his days on Two Guys and a Girl.

10. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

I like the old ones. Sound of Music, The King and I, Mary Poppins, Annie. But
definitely not High School Musical. That seems cheesy.

11. Favourite tv show or movie?

Friends. Top Chef. Bing Bang Theory. Private Chefs of Beverly Hills. Gene Simmons'
Family Jewels. Oh, you only want one? Well, I can't choose. Give me a day with these
shows showing on tv, I'll be having breakfast, lunch and dinner in front of the tv.


I think everyone I know has been tagged. So, I wish I could continue this, but I'll stop it here. Don't kill me.

Session Two.

What I want to be when I get older.

I want to be a writer. Or I want to be that woman who travels for leisure when she wants. The woman who bake wonderful things on her weekends off. The woman who doesn't need a man to feel oh so happy. Oh yes, in my mind, older is when I've started working.

Your opinion on cheating on people

This is a pickle. I don't know. If you ask me my opinion on polygamy, I'll give a loud "Hell no" but on cheating. Well. I'm a dramatic person. I see the way to react when you find out you've been cheated on is to throw things, be as passive agressive as you can and you know, just let it all out.

I don't think that as a way with holier-than-thou undertones because I can put myself in the cheater's shoes. Just to make it simple, be honest. Go for an open relationship if you can't handle it.

Future names of your children.

This is so easy. Let's just make the assumption I'll be having children sometime in the future. First of all, I'll be naming my daughter Alexandria which will be shortened to Xandria. I like the name Scarlette too but you know, I can just imagine her being teased as "The Scarlette letter" or "That Scarlette woman.

You know what I mean.

For my son, well. I have no idea. Seriously. I'll just leave that to my husband.

Last Awkward situation you were in

There's so many I can't remember? I have never like, labelled a situation as awkward in my mind so I can't even recall one single moment for this.

Silence.

There's this girl who just realised she has been very lonely and sad for some time now. Just that she had been distracted from facing it and the very distraction is perhaps the reason she's curling up in such sadness.

Her silent screams. Her tears. They were all about what she missed out. So she thinks.

Morning.

Due to Mama's idea of us having a family vacation, we'll be going to this waterpark resort place for a one night stay. I'm hoping to not get too tanned and that my fingers will get so wrinkly they'll look like those wrinkly shrivelled up cocktail sausages.

This past week, I've been dragged out of bed following Mama on her morning walk. I don't jog. I walk fast-ish. Why don't I jog? Well, until someone buys me a jogging bra, I'm not going to huff and puff while certain things get pulled down by gravity with every 40 steps or so.

We go to walk at this nearby stadium, every round of the track is around 400 meters and walking on that track at 7am kills me. I usually drag myself for the first round, get a bit warmed up by the 3rd round and by the 5th, I'll be delusional raving to go on until my legs feel like jelly. The average for me, so far is about 3km per walk.

Here's to me not losing interest in this walking lark.

Remember those 8 library books I borrowed? Well, the Jodi Picoult I borrowed is the first one she wrote and the first one that is oh-my-god so boring for me. I only read it till page 50 before telling Mokesart I'm moving on to the next book. Were there any interesting books? Well, no. I finished reading 4. The other 4, I couldn't force myself.

Hanis goes to living room.

"Okay, choose a number between one and six."

Mama: Four

Bro: One

Dad: One

*calculates in mind*

"Thank you."

Mama: What do you need it for?

"I just wanted to know which book I should read first."

So, here I'am with my copy of Lover Unleashed. In few minutes, I'll be back in the world of those vampires. I better go, they're calling me now.

Oh yes, I think I'll be setting some posts up, set up the time and date and voila. You get something to read.

Peace out.

This Song Reminds Me Of: Emotions

This song has two versions, one by the Bee Gees and the other is by Destiny's Child. The latter version reminds me of sad moments while the former one reminds me of Dad's love for the Bee Gees and abba.

Its over and done but the heartache lives on inside. and who is the one you're clinging to, instead of me tonight?

Thinking about it now, this song smacks of love gone wrong where only one half of the relationship is still clinging on. It speaks (to me) of someone pining for an ex, who has clearly moved on. The words tell me of someone who tries to look strong in front of the former lover but breaks down into tears when they're all alone, every single detail replaying in their mind.

How do I even know this? I'm not the Communication arts student *coughs*Mokesart*coughs*. Its purely because like nearly every other person, certain songs act like a time machine.

My tummy hurts right now just by remembering how pitiful I was back then. God, I feel like smacking myself with a dead flounder right on the face. I was young, that's my normal excuse. If someone asked, I'll just shrug and tell them I was at a bad place for that few weeks.

Cry me a river, that leads to your ocean. You'll never see me fall apart, in the words of a broken heart, its just emotions taking me over

I felt that this song was made especially for me. Everytime I was touching the gates of "moving on", I'll get pushed back by something as cruel but simple as a short conversation with him. Once, I was driving and this song came on and before I knew it, I was singing along to it with such feeling that I was crying without realising. It must have been a sight at the red light for the car beside me.

Of course, it took me few months before I could listen to this song without bursting into tears and self pity. But I'm better now, just with a good memory.

Nobody left in this world to kiss me goodnight.

Confession No.28

I'm Han Solo.

Take a Look at My New Friends.

I spent about 45 minutes in a bookstore, choosing my 6 books. When I stepped in, I asked (just to confirm) if I could use the book vouchers which is when I was told:

"Yes you can and there is an additional 5% discount too."

I was so resisting the urge to dance a jig right there. So I first grabbed a copy of J.R Ward's Lover Unleashed and John Green's Looking for Alaska. I then wandered in the tight walkway, surrounded by books on both sides, my eyes wandering on every title.

I stopped in front of Stephen King, looking at the titles. There were a handful which is not helpful since I have no idea which of his books I want. One of my rule of thumb in book buying is the value of money for the number of pages.

Caution, only use this rule when you already know you like the author's writing, you like the preview written at the back of each book and you're just stuck in choosing. Do not do this if its a new author that you don't know from Eve. Because this will more often than not, make you groan out:

"Why did I buy this book?"

So, I took a copy of Under the Dome Which I read about on Wiki (what haven't I read on there?) and thought was pretty interesting and yes, it reminded me of the Simpsons' movie where Springfield was put under a gigantic dome.

I had 3 books in hand, 3 more needed. This is when I usually take a risk and pick a book. My first choice is a Jodi Picoult, something I'll like even if I don't love it the way I did for Salem Falls (her first book I read). My rule of thumb came out to play again here and it led to me choosing Handle with Care.

I think by this time, I've looked at every row of books twice. I wanted to read that one trilogy but then, they didn't have it. So I thought to myself after looking at the 4 books I've piled on top of each other on a shelf:

"Indulge yourself Hanis. Get a young adult and a chick lit-ish."

Chick lit to me is definitely not Sophie Kinsella. Or those other famousy ones where most girls just love. For me, its Marian Keyes or Jilly Cooper. Yet, I already all the fomer's books and they didn't have the latter's books in stock.

I wanted something similiar to those two so I was picking up random books, reading the back when I came to Wendy Holden's Beautiful People. There was a short one line review from The Times at the back which said:

"Up there with the best of Jilly Cooper."

I flipped through. I made it book no.5.

The problem with the young adult genre is that its so full of series. Why can't you just write one long book and that is it. I don't have anything against series but well, I don't want to be hooked to another one.

It took me about ten minutes to find an interesting one that seem to be a stand alone book. Incubus by Carol Goodman.

Brother: I've heard of the title before. Where did I? Where did I?

Hanis: The band?

Brother: Oh yeahhh.

I'm currently staring at the books, so happy to see them all spread on my bed. I've been asked which one would I read first. Well, I still got my library books so I'll finish those first. Yes, I have this thing for trying to prolong a book's unread status because , well, I don't have a reason.

Here's to the books and here's to being a bookworm.

My Journey.

We all know that I'm done with my finals. I might even had mentioned in an earlier post of doing some kind of pictures post regarding my last minute studying efforts.

So, here we are, I got 4 pictures, which is perhaps a lot for me but just small numbers for others. I thought there were way more but then, I might have counted the other not suitable for public pictures as well.

I humbly present to you, those pictures.

This was taken at my grandmother's house, judging by the yellow tablecloth under my books. So, this would be perhaps around Christmas-ish because my parents were away so I had to stay with my grandparents during nighttime. See those little clouds I drew? This is when I feel like I have plenty of time left. I draw the line at colouring in with highlighters or whatsover.

That is my Stochastic book, my pencil case, Polo mints, my calculator and the wire part of my earphones. Why in the world does the library insists to have mustard yellow tables? They're an eyesore. Trust me. I remember the library being hot that day because some people were too stingy to turn on the air conditioning.

I assure you, I was in panic mode for this picture. It was the day before my Risk Modelling exam, a very nerve wrecking day. I also sat for another one that morning so you can just imagine my level of calmness. Below minimum. You can see the cup with my Neslo which is Nescafe(instant coffee) + Milo which is so goood.

*stares at picture*

Ohhh, this is my attempt on solving a Makeham. Well, a topic in my Actuarial Math 2, the last exam. You see, there was a 7 days gap between this and the one before. I had to kick myself in the ass so I'll start studying 4 days beforehand. I remember being oh-so-calm for the first few days before smacking myself for being too calm.

The End.

Ok, okay. That is the end of my studying for this semester. Of course, the first few days after it ended, I felt so restless and wanted to crack open a book to study. Did I?

Nope. I'm not that bad.

Confession No.27

When anyone ask me how I feel/think, I aim to throw my head back with a laugh and say these words.

"I don't give a fuck."

Session One.

What is your favorite flower?

What I definitely don't like is roses. Red and orange ones especially. They're just that overated. To answer this, I like carnations. Or gardenias. White or light pink. But if a guy gives me flowers then tell me the meaning behind those flowers, I'll swoon and get on one knee before handing them a spider flower.

Are you an organized person?

Does the egg comes before the chicken?

Yes, I'm unsure about that. I don't have checklists. Or studying schedules. I'm a messy person but god forbids when someone suddenly texts me and tells me we have to do so-and-so. I hate the feeling when someone just dump things on my shoulders. I get snappy, I get moody. Does that mean I'm organised in some way where I hate it when people mess with my schedule?

Oh oh, I hate it when things are hastily planned. I believe in knowing things beforehand. Some might say I'm not organised by how I deliberately don't follow schedules I made. But then, for every finals, I make a mental schedule of what subject to study and when to, which I follow religiously.

So, I'm not even sure if its the egg or the chicken.


If you had to spend a day not using any technology, what would you do?

Define technology please. Does this mean car, electricity and all? Or just television, cable, internet, telephones and computers?

Does it include ovens and fridges?

I guess I'll be rolling around in bed, reading my pile of books, cooking lunch and dinner, play with the kitten before heading to bed. Simple as that. Sounds like a normal day, minus my laptop and the internet.


Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

I'm hitting 23 in about 6 months. I believe in this concept where guys get wiser as they aged, which in turn make them realise that girls are pretty however they are. I don't think a just legal guy would find me attractive. Of course, the 5 years difference. If I was the younger one in the relationship, I won't mind.

What’s your sign?

I'm a Leo. I'm also a Earth Snake according to the Chinese system. Some people really fit into the description of their sign, but me? I fit half and half.

I'm a romantic. But I don't want to be a leader. Other things, well, I can't remember them that much.

Writing by the Book.

With most writers that have plenty of books in print, there would be this formula. The formula of success. Like, for nearly every periodical romance novel there would be that hard to rein in Duke/Lord and the heroine who's either untamed or just so demure and lovely that said hero falls head over heels for her before he could tie on a fresh cravat.

There would be a villain in the form of a family member or an old enemy who the hero thought were out of the picture. There would be denial of feelings and the heroine would turn up her nose, brush away the tears and tell him to screw it if she's not stubborn enough to insist that yes, he is damn well in love with her.

Then the heroine might just get kidnapped or the hero would face some danger and somehow this would led to a scene of "I've fallen in love with you the moment I saw you across the ballroom." before the much awaited for "His manhood swelled at her delicate beauty." part.

Oh I forgot, that heroine has a high chance of either being past her marrying age due to family obligations, lack of standing or perhaps she was ruined due to the gossips coursing throughout the ton.


Yes. I read enough romance novels to know the basic plot. I'm not ashamed that one of my guilty pleasures are books with scandalous-ish covers.

Do you see the formula here? Its so common, basically part and parcel of writingdom. There are two reactions to such formulas. You either:

a)Find it comforting if you happen to like the writer's style of writing. You'll relish every word, loving how it seems familiar but foreign. You might even feel that the characters are all reincarnations from another book.

For example, Jodi Picoult is one of my favourite authors and she has some kind of formula going on, just not as obvious as those romance novels. Yet, I still love her books.

b) If you don't like the style of writing or you're not easily satisfied, you'll dismiss the writer's books and scoff, saying everything is just the same.

(Now is when I start bashing certain writers which might just bring the hellhounds down on me)

For this exact reason, I'm coming clean by saying that I just don't like Danielle Steel and Nicholas Spark. I've read ... 8-9(at least) books by the former and 3 from the latter and god, I skip most of the pages of Danielle's books and Nicholas'? Well, I know some girls just love his books because they really tug on your heartstrings but I swear, I regret making his The Guardian as one of the books I borrowed from the library.

No, I'm not dissing their writing skills. I just don't like their formulas.

Your taste in books is like your definition of beauty. Its very very subjective.

Confession No.26

I'm fine. I'm confused. I just ... I'm not fine. Not at all. I don't know what to think. I'm fine I'm fine I'm absolutely fine. I'm not. I just want to turn off the lights, lock the door and have Cupid's Fall on repeat until I fall asleep. Or until the battery dies.

Wow. Just Wow.

Wow.

I just finished reading Richard Bachman's The Long Walk. It is actually by Stephen King because Richard Bachman is an alias he used. I read about the book on Wiki about a year-ish ago and it caught my interest because of the general idea.

One hundred boys walk to their death, the last one standing wins. They get ticketed for a list of offenses and once you get 3 tickets, you're a target to be killed by the soldiers. If you manage to walk 3 hours, you lose those tickets. If you fall under the minimum speed or do any of the other offenses, you get shot.

Yes. It sounds ... horrible. I started reading it last night and 206 pages later, I finished reading the last sentence and whispered to myself one word.

Wow.

Some might think its not that interesting because nearly the whole damn book is about those boys walking, and walking. But Stephen King managed to make it so interesting I read about half of the book last night.

I knew how it was going to end, thanks to Wikipedia but it still hit me hard. The end came so abruptly. No explanation. Definitely no happily ever after. I'm awed. I feel like this book has just got itself into that list of Best Books Ever in my head.

If there's a book I wished I've written, apart from the HP series, is this book.

Now, I'm going to find more Richard Bachman's books to read.

Plans of Freedom.

I'm freeeeeeeeeee. Well, my finals are over , I have no class until 4th of March so I plan to read all the books I can get my hands on, work my ass off (if I get the chance to) and perhaps, try to work some fat off said ass?

Today, after leaving the examination hall I headed for the library and borrowed as much books I could carry which is sadly not enough for me. I got 8 books, which I chose within 5 minutes since the fiction section is really small in that particular library. Some are from authors I've heard and read before, some are complete strangers.

I'll tell you more of the books as I read them one by one since I have big big plans for this blog now.

One: I'm going to take you through a trip of my study sessions, there will be pictures (big deal for Hanis since I don't really do pictures before this)

Two: There might be a post of pictures, again, but this time it would be of the food I had over the last few weeks. Nothing fancy or anything but I think the comments with every picture would increase the interest factor.

Three: I got a set of questions which I would answer in about, 4-5 installments but don't think God-this-will-be-uber-boring because it will not. I'll make sure I'll get a Mokesart approval.

Four: Update on my choices of books to buy.

Oh yes, I contacted the bookstore last night, asking them to hold onto a copy of J.R Ward's Lover Unleashed and told them I'll be in this weekend or early next week. I got a reply saying they're holding on to the last copy but then, they're closed starting from today till the end of this month due to Chinese New Year.

*cue crying*

This only means that I'll have more time to choose so that's the silver lining for me.

Updates on Books

J.R Ward's Lover Unleashed is definitely one of them. I'm also going to get a Stephen King, most probably The Shining.

Looking for Alaska by John Green seems to be a pretty good choice. Now, that is all. That leaves 3 more spots.

*gets super excited*

Now, excuse me while I tuck into my cooking shows marathon.

I Need Your Help. Pleaseee.

The government gave every child in school one hundred ringgit in cash around last November. For some political reasons unknown to me. I think its good because perhaps, 30% of the kids would actually use it to buy school uniforms and stationaries, unlike my lil bro who combined it with his savings and bought a pair of Nike shoes.

I joked back then that for university students, they'll be giving out two hundred ringgit. Imagine my surprise when that kinda came true.

*goes to make a joke about her getting together with a certain guy*

Instead of cash, we got a book voucher valued at two hundred ringgit. It is given in 4 coupons, each valued at fifty ringgit. For academic books. To promote the habit of reading.

First of all, who the hell read academic books? *ignore people like Hermione*

I snooped around and guess what? We can use the vouchers to buy fiction novels and stationaries.

*runs around excited*

Then, I found out, I could use them at the wonderful store where most paperbacks are under the offer of "Buy Two, Get One Free". Which totally made me so excited, I started studying for my last exam.*starts to panic about it*

Okay, deep breaths. To get me through the few days, I'm going to make a list of books that I'll buy. I'll buy four, so I'll get two free, making it a total of six books.

SIX.

SIX.

Okay, I know the one book I'm going to get.

J.R Ward's Lover Unleashed (went to Wiki to check the title before seeing the tenth book would be released in March*goes into fangirl mode*)

Perhaps, a Stephen King. Maybe It or The Shining.

and what would be my four other books?

This is where you guys are needed. I need suggestions. If can, no books that are part of a series because you'll just get me hooked then I'llbedoomedinbuyingthose and then I'll ignore everything else which is bad.

So, ideas?

I'll super appreciate it.

Love,

This Song Reminds Me Of: If Only For One Night

This is a new section I thought up of a few weeks ago. Mokesart seemed to think it would be a good idea so, here is it.



Let me hold you tight, If only for one night

I used to be into Harry Potter fanfiction, like few years ago. I read a lot. I wrote some. I'm a fan of those short/one shot fics where the couple (Usually Harry/Hermione or Draco/Hermione) are deeply in love with each other but it just can't be or when only one is in love while the other feels a deep affection for their friend.

Your eyes say things I'll never hear from you

One of those fics led me to this song which then became a favourite of mine. I listened to it and thought up plots that would go well with it but never really wrote any down. Come to think of it, I think I'll be pretty good in writing those romance where you'll start crying from the injustice of it about halfway in.

God, I think I predicted my love life back then.

I just closed my eyes, listening to this song for the 3rd time in a row and I was reminded by a story I once wrote. Well, more like a scene because that's my style. Maybe I'll write it down soon (when I'm supposed to be studying), give some new touch to it before letting my editor edit it and tell me to stop being so melodramatic as he compliments me.

I won't tell a soul, No one has to know, If you want to be totally discreet

Interview By the Mokesart.

Mokesart just interviewed me. Go read it.

Go go go.

Hunky Mushroom Fried Rice.

From The Secret Life of Prince Charming by Deb Calleti:

"Good looks too often meant, I expect to be forgiven. It was too bad his appearance made my eyes so happy- the rest of him would likely make me miserable."




I was buying dinner, sitting at a table, waiting for my to-go order to be ready (Fried Rice with Mushrooms, sunny side up on top) when I saw this ... hunky eye candy. I admit that I'm not one who think looks = everything but like a guy who can't resist staring at a cleavage that's paraded in front of him, I stared.

He dressed to show off his hunkiness *smacks head* and I fell for it. I literally turned around in my seat just to keep my eye on his tushie and strong armshim. If I was a guy, I would be sporting a boner. Well, half-mast. I shook my head when he got out of sight, feeling disgusted with myself for such ogling before thinking that he's probably one of the biggest jerk I've ever set my eyes on.

Hanis. Stop judging someone.

I then came up with this whole theory thing involving looks and personality.

*clears throat*

It is part of human's nature to sometimes think that a physically attractive person would be the owner of a good looking personality. Which is possibly such a big mistake.

Case :

Good looking guy. You swoon, you sigh. You look at him and your mind comes up with a whole story book romance where he is the sweetest ever guy in the whole universe. But then, here's the interesting part. He doesn't. He might not have such a bad personality but since its not as perfect as his exterior, in your mind, you label him as jerk.

The same goes for women. You see Miss I Look Like an angel and then discover its more of Miss Demanding inside. She might not even be that bad, hell, she might just be an ordinary personality but its sub par compared to her looks. Hence, bitch.

Boy, those good looking people sure have a lot of things to live up to, right?

This reminds me of what I read in an articles ages ago. I think I've mentioned it before in this post of OML guys. Maybe. If I didn't, it said that we should treat everyone in the same way. Not judge just from their looks.

Pit Stop One.

Have I mentioned for the past week I've been living in Mamon's room at the hostel? Well, now I'm back home for a pit-stop aka, wash my clothes, get fresh ones and enjoy my own bed for one night before going back. I'll be having few super hectic days as I'll have a paper on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Talk about suicide?

Today's paper went well, I hope I'll get a good grade so I can make up for any bad grades. Talking about today, lack of sleep and nerves led me to a funny(well, it didn't seem so this morning) situation. I was sitting in the hall, about to fill up a slip so I took out my examination slip to check the code and group.

Now, all throughout the semester, I thought it was Regression Analysis when it was actually Fundamental of Regression Analysis. So, with little sleep and coffee in my veins, I got panicked. I saw that I registered two English subjects. I was thinking of cases of people forgetting to register one subject but at least they noticed before they're actually sitting in the hall.

I told my friend, Ekin in a very helpless panicky voice.

"Ekin, I didn't register this subject."

My five friends around me all got wide eyed with the "Oh shit" expression on their faces. I handed Ekin the slip and calm, level headed girl she is, she pointed out the last subject in the list and stated:

"Hanis, I see it."

Bella: You just gave me a mini heart attack.

Naqa: You're panicking Hanis. Calm down.

Yes, Mama and Mokesart laughed when I told them. So did my two other friends. I see the humour in it, now. Thank god my friends took my panic state into consideration so I'm not teased, yet. I'm sure once the guys hear this, I'll be hearing about it all the time.

Oh yes, the house has a new addition to it. What is it?

Its a pretty orange and white 5 month old kitten with no name attached to it yet.

I'm for Marmalade. Or Crookshanks. We'll see. He's staring at me from inside his big cage, resting in of all places, his litter box. I just want to gobble him up.

Song. Study.

I'm currently studying a subject that I don't really hold dear to my heart. Like a normal person, I'm listening to music while doing the calculations. Of course, there will be songs that I keep repeating over and over that I'm sure people around are glad for the invention of earphones. Here's one song which I seem to love.

2012 Smells Like Coffee.

I don't believe in aiming high.

I know, what kind of person am I if I don't have dreams? But looking at it from the other side, I'm simply saving myself from dissapointment. Its not like I don't wish to get certain things, I just don't go on about it.

What the heck are you talking about Hanis?

Well, results. For one.

Last semester, some of my classmates went on about how they're aiming to get 3.8 or the dean's list (3.5 and above) while I was minding my business, furiously hoping to not fail a paper, again. So, my aim was simply to pass everything.

Well, I not only wish to pass everything but I'll try as hard as I can to get at least 3.0 so my average would be a pretty thing to look at.

This is the also the reason why I don't have any resolutions for this year. Okay, I have one. I want to be able to usher in 2013. Simple as that. I know if I resolute to lose weight, I'll dissapoint myself. I'll just try to eat healthy, walk a lot and boom, I'll be okay.

Of course, everytime I hope this year would be the year I'll meet the guy meant for me Logan Lerman but if I don't, there's next year. I think he's shy and hiding from me.

Here's a post from last year that still applies today.