Bye Bye.

2011.

I've decided to do some kind of post reviewing this year. I tried doing it by month but then for some of them, I don't remember a single thing. I tried by choosing a post for each month to represent it, I just couldn't choose.
So here I'am right now, nursing a headache from the sun blinding me through the curtains, the smell of coffee, the lack of sleep(oh please) and my worry concerning my exams.

I've studied 4 hours today, 7 yesterday. I need more. More I tell you. *Get hungry for hours of study* If only I was like this back in highschool. I would be blogging from some country filled with cute Caucasian boys waiting outside my window to take me out to see the fireworks tonight and "Maybe make some of our own, Hanis. Har har har I'm just kidding. I think."

Mokesart is out partying it off with girls under his arms (exxageration). Okay, let me do a review of what I did this year.

- I made new friends.

-I fought with old friends.

-I regained those friends back.

- I went to a beach trip with classmates and rode on the banana boat thingie. Now, if only they'll do it in freshwater.

-I discovered Tumblr.

- I worked for the first time and realised how a person can be racist in such a way you won't even know this.

-I got closer to my old highschool friends.

-I met with someone who's been plaguing my dreams for the past 4 years and discovered that like time, people change.

- I started to enjoy shopping, but in small doses.

- I had a wonderful birthday.

-I won two giveaways, a painting and a charmbracelet.

-I got even more gorgeous than before.(trust me on this)

-I don't even remember the full names of my exes. Wonderful.

-I went to the 3 full face threading sessions within 5 months. (Imagine the pain)

-I participated in NaNoWriMo and I won.


I think that's all. Well, there's plenty more but I can't think of anything else.

With that, I bid farewell to this year, the year of growth, the year of chances, the year of a new start. Do give 2012 a kiss for me on your way out for me, okay? Don't forget to mention that I'm a nice wonderful person.

What Time Is It? Crunch Time.

My examination schedule this semester was designed with the sole purpose of mentally torturing us. I'm sure they made it while whispering "Crucio" underneath their breaths in between evil laughters. Oh Voldemort must have new recruits in the examination scheduling departments all over the world before he got killed in the battle.

In order to optimise my studying, I'll be leaving for the hostel to bunk in Mamon's room from tommorow until the 12th or so with short visits in between just to get fresh clothes.

I'm taking 5 papers, 5 oh so hard subjects. The first one starts on the 6th of January so I'm sure I'll be ignoring the ushering of the new year. Even as I type this, I just realise we have only 2 more days left of this year. So, the schedule.

6th- Regression Analysis
9th- Actuarial Programming
10th-Risk Modelling
11th- Stochastic
19th- Actuarial Math

I told you its a mental torture. 3 days in a row. I'm sure by the time I hand in my Stochastic' answer booklet, I'll be sporting dark circles under my eyes, muttering to myself about weird scary things and perhaps, daydreaming of a time where I've decided to take a simpler and much easier course.

I'm also sure I'll be falling asleep while rechecking my answers.

It's a custom of mine to make plans before my finals. Like, my usual one would be "I'm going to buy x number of books the day after the last paper."

Its a form of motivation, trust me. This time, I'm in the process of convincing some friends to go to this one Thai restaurant close to our old hostel back in 2009 for a meal after the Stochastic paper. Then, I'll sleep and make a map on my pillow using invisible spit ink.

Other than that, I'll make sure that I'll watch a movie or two before starting my studies for my last paper. I wonder if The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo would be in the cinemas over here by then? I hope so. Here's to studying my ass and brain out with hopes of sanity at the end.

As a way of remembering how I studied last semester, here's a poem I wrote.

Love,

Trying to be Funny.

I'm currently studying about to start studying the ways to get my man Markov process but then, I just felt I have to share some funny things I've read.

One

Friend: He's not your boyfriend.

Girl: He's just in denial.

Two

Boy: Why do you have a blog full with pictures of me?

Girl: That's from years ago.

Three

Friend: Does he know you like him?

Hanis: Yes. Just not that he's my mother's future son in law.

I told Mokesart the 2nd one, he didn't get it.*roll eyes* I so need to tell it to a girl.

Tell me how can you sleep, How can you breathe, Baby tell me how, How you love me now- Hey Monday.

Will You Tie Yourself to Me?

I watched one of those proposal videos that youtube seems to be infested with. This particular one was posted on Facebook by two friends who were envious of the girl and thought she was the "luckiest" ever. My reaction after the long build-up?

"God, that is so tacky."

I can get why some girls would envy such a grand affair, you know, with all the attention and hey, that must mean he really loves you, right?

Note the sarcasm.

Watching this video made me realised that my reaction to every single proposal video I had the misfortune to watch was along the coast of "God, that is so tacky" and "If it was me, I would be so fucking embarassed."

I just don't get it why you need to enlist people in helping you? Were they there when you fell in love? Did they helped along with that too? and like, its not like you'll be marrying those "helpers" or perhaps even divorcing them one day.

Its just you and the one you love.

I ranted about this to 2 guys and they saw my point of view. I came up with a whole list (a short one) of what you should never do when you're going to propose to me.

One: NO grand affairs. Don't go and waste money on getting some blimp to flash the message, small plane to write it in the sky, billboard, rope in a radio station, put up an ad. Like, I know some would say its the thought that counts but isn't the "Will you marry me?' part the important thought here? I sense a guy who's insecure or just wants to show off when he spends tons of money just to say those four words.

Two: NOT in front of my family. Or your family. Let's cross out crowds in a fancy restaurant or some public place where you asking would eventually put the two of us in the centre of attention. Like, what are you trying to do? Obligating me to say yes?

If the person is decent, they won't say "No, I won't marry you." in front of a crowd who's just waiting for the answer thus making you lose face. They might say yes before telling you fuck no in a more private situation.

THREE: NOTHING tacky. That includes all those putting the ring in some food/drink, scaring the shit out of the person before asking them. and of course, nothing that would be videotaped and put up on youtube.


I told you its a short list.

Mokesart asked me how do I want to be proposed to.

Definitely nothing like in the video.

I want something casual. Private. Maybe during a walk. Or while watching a movie. Perhaps right before the jump in bungee jumping. Something just between me and him. If I can find someone

Before you think this post is some sign of feminism, you're wrong. I'm not into that whole ... thing. I just don't like it when personal moments in life like that are put over the top.

Merry Merry Wishes.

Today I read on Facebook where as Muslims, you're not supposed to wish someone Merry Christmas because somehow it brings the meaning "Peace upon Jesus' God" or something like that. I think I've whined enough about this kind of thing.

If you don't believe in what you're saying, it means nothing. I take that from how one want to convert into Islam. If you want to, you'll have to say the shahadah and really mean it. You can say it a billion times but if you don't mean it, you're still not a Muslim.

Its a bit like saying "I love you."

Yes, nod in front of your screen while you think of the drama that comes from saying those three words.

Words are nothing if there's no meaning behind it.

So that is why I'm wishing you guys a Merry Christmas.

In case you were thinking of showing me some love, do remember that I appreciate books, long necklaces and anklets with bells on them.

Mokesart composed a song based on a poem of mine for my gift, I'm in love with it. Now, I just need to find something for him...

Honeymoon Plans. I Mean Backpacking.

Most girls have things in common, and one of those things are the answer to "Where do you want to go to for your honeymoon?". Most girls already knew the answer to that by the time they hit high school, no doubt aided by movies/songs/novels.

I knew I wanted to go to Rome ever since I read that one novel which I don't remember now. The resolve was strengthened by certain things and by every year's end, I tell myself I'm going to Rome for my honeymoon, no matter who I marry. But now, well, let me give you a look at a recent convo with Mokesart.

"Where do I want to go to for my honeymoon?"

"Rome." (See how I got him trained *hides from him*)

"If I meet the right guy, I might change that."

That led to him being curious and saying its odd of me to say something like that.(Pffft)

What is the change?

Well, what are the odds a guy would say yes when I ask them to take 3 months off from work after the wedding so we can go backpacking-ish across parts of Europe as our honeymoon?

Okay, let's just assume I'll get a poor sod guy to marry me. What are the odds that he won't go on about the budget? Or the time off from work? (I need to avoid workaholics)

That is why I said, if I meet the right guy.

Once he says yes and on, I'll take out a map and some of those pins that you stick on maps. I'll put a blue one on Rome and will say that will be the last place to go. I'll leave the rest of the planning for the future. The planning is half of the fun, right?

*goes off to check if there's anywhere to go bungee jumping in those possible places*

I want to travel damnit. I don't get people who feels travelling as icky. Like, what the fuck. The world is big with continents and countries. Oceans. Seas. Unless you have a fear, then, well, your loss.

I've heard some people saying how unpatriotic it is of me to want to travel abroad and not in my own country. Well, let me tell you this. God has created various weathers and places, if he didn't want us to see them, he would have made the whole world monotonous.

Seriously, you guys just want to save money/want to be Mr Scrooge but then, you pretend to be like, oh, you're not very supportive of your country dear.

Blergh.

That said, I want to travel. I will one day.

If I don't get married, I'll get hitched to Mokesart and we'll be a travelling couple.

From a Book.

"Because you can want and want and want." She turns away, hugging her knees. I can see the bony line of her spine through her dress. "But if he doesn't want you back ... you might as well wish the sky were red."

Confession No.25

I miss you.

Blogging in Bits and Pieces.

What time is it? Time for Hanis to write things using a list. No, my finals are not here yet. Its approaching though. *hides from it*

1. I'm swamped by assignments. I just want to scream and run away to a swamp with a monster in it. I'll be the maid. Thankfully, the arabic evil video is done. Tommorow, we'll start on the Visual Useless Basic thingie. I know, I got a C+ in this bloody subject years ago.


2. Mokesart is currently editing my half finished novel. He's not complaining, yet. I swear I'll pick it up once I'm done with my finals, bought my I'm-done-with-finals books and perhaps after I start working. *hopes*


3. I overheard Mary J Blige's Family Affair on the radio and realised that I can still somewhat sing along to it word-to-word. Now, I should add that to my resume.

4. Speaking of songs, I got about 80% of the rap in Superbass memorised. Now, that is an accomplishment. Do you think if I sing that to any future crush would they be impressed and find me cute?

5. Bad news, I haven't lose weight since ... September. But good news, I haven't gained any. Do you know what that means to me? Well, I'm always gaining weight but not now. It might mean I've learned to eat smarter :) *dances around*

6. I got a presentation coming up on Thursday. My group's topic is Cannibalism. My particular area is the background of Cannibalism. The other sections are

i)Medical effects of cannibalism
ii)Is cannibalism a plausible solution to world hunger?
iii) Is placenta eating cannibalism?


Yes. People winced when they heard the topic. But hey, at least its interesting, right? I don't really like the normal run-of-the-mill topics. Not that I think its stupid. But I want to learn something new while doing this secondary research paper.

Someone asked me if I'm not grossed out by the research we had to do. To be honest, the 4 of us agreed the article on placenta eating is the one that made us lose our appetites for a while.

Yes, google it. Not while eating.

7. My room is so messsssy. Mama is going to slaughter me.

8. I wrote a ... silly poem yesterday which had a pattern going on with each sentence's(verse?) number of syllables. It went something like

3
5
7
9
7
5
3


For about 4 ... I don't know enough terms here. But you get what I mean. Right?

I showed it to Mokesart and he liked the whole pattern. He didn't say if the content were blah or something. Haha.

9. Last night, I found something worse than Rebecca Black's Friday. I know, I thought that would be an impossible thing. But yes.

10. I realised I'm deeply in love with Katy Perry. If I ever meet her, I'll be screaming the way Sophia Grace did when she met Nicki Minaj Katy Perry. (Look at 3.20). I won't be that cute but that would be my excitement level.


11. I'll leave you with this wonderful picture of my feet at some bus stop near my faculty.

Challenging My Mind.

So, inspired by Friends' Season 7, Episode 8, also known as "The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs" I today decided to take a challenge presented by Chandler in the episode and manipulate it.

What was it?

To name all 50 states in the US in 6 minutes.

Since I'm not a resident of said country, nor am I a geography fan so I ommited the time limit.

I told Mokesart about it. He told me to do it then tell him how I did before he took the challenge himself.

I did it this morning, right up while doing a test, while eating before giving up around 3pm.

I got 40.

Mokesart, got 44.

Which are both impressive numbers since we're both non residents of the country. Woohooo.

This brings me to a show I love love love watching.

Cash Cab. Well, the Singapore version where the lovely, delicious, oh god so cute Oli Pettigrew is the host aka driver.

The concept (for those of you who don't know about it) is that you get into a cab and boom, its the cash cab where you get asked random questions, most of the time general knowledge. The first 4 you get right, is worth 50 bucks, then its 100 each. If you get 3 wrong before you get to your destination, you'll get kicked out with no money.

Last night, I spent an hour watching and screaming the answer at the screen.

"If I ever get into the cash cab, the first thing I'll do is kiss the host on the cheek."

"Why the cheek?" - Mokesart

"Because he has the cutest cutest dimple."

Yes, I'll win a fair amount of money if I get in there with either Dad, Mokesart or Eli. Or even Mamon.

Even if I didn't, I'll still get to kiss Oli Pettigrew on the cheek.

Observation Two.

December 5th 5.08 pm - Faculty.

The bad thing about belonging to a faculty that sits on top of a hill is the number of stairs. No matter which way you take, if you're walking, you're getting your daily cardio.

The good thing is the wind we get when we step out of class. There were times I felt like Marilyn Monroe, walking down this one big staircase with the wind teasing my hair and the skirt of my baju kurung.

In the parking lot, there's this mini bazaar going on. I resisted temptation and came away with only 3 slices of chocolate moist cake. Yes, that's me being frugal.

I see a lecturer of mine walking by with one of her sons, a male version of her. From where I'am, I can see the treetops swaying in the wind.

Mama once told me a tip. She told me to look at natural green things, starting from the nearest to the furthest. It will improve your sight, she said. I say its a good stress reliever.

This girl just walked behind me, a corner of her bag hitting me, followed by a half sincere apology. I'm looking at my phone (5.20 pm) waiting for when Dad is going to come and pick me up.

Oh yes, I need to get a bottle of mineral water, mine is nearly empty.

Right now, I'm wondering where to take a picture. The staircase, the treetops of the rolling hills(hah) from the bus stop.

(5.40 pm) Dad just called me, he just left the office. Looks like I'll be here for some time now.

"Dreaming of candy and chocolate, all the bad girls not allowed."

I got my bottle of mineral water, sitting at the faculty's foyer. This multi level place with clusters of round tables here and there.

"Hold me in your arms" is followed by "You think I'm pretty, without any make up on."

I got less than 3 ringgit in my purse and I'm tempted to spend all of them on snacks.

Oh yes, a Malay word for you guys.

Jajan = snacks. Well, it's a slang word. How to pronounce it? Do you know JajaBing of Star Wars? Yes, just add "n" and minus the Bing part (Chandler Bing).

"My heart stopes when you look at me." Ooh, that just gave me an idea for a post( I might write it).

I think I'll do some studying, got a test in 2 days. (5.49pm)

"Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t? Cause its d-a-m-a-g-e-d."

Link Provided Of Course.

Remember my other blog? The one I don't update often. Well, I just did.

Do go on and spare few minutes to read and comment on it.

Love,

Observation One.

(Written while waiting for Dad to pick me up-6.04pm)

I like how the air smells after rain. Clean. Here, the whole drizzling-raining routine just finished and the air is just so fresh.

I'm watching a girl helping a guy (boyfriend?) untie his bag from around his back. I got Sugababes' Push The Button's last chorus playing in my earbuds before hearing

"She begs me to come down, Boy, quit fooling around."

But then, I got bored so right now, I'm listening to

"Dani the girl singing songs for me beneath the marquee, Overload."

Which didn't last long enough to the chorus but I swear, I'm sticking to

"And you, don't mean to be cruel, never even knew about the heartache, I've been going through."

At the the table beside mine, 3 girls are discussing their script for 3rd language. Speaking of it, we just finished 2/5 scenes for our Arabic video. Let me tell you this:

Mango pudding + plain yogurt at room temperature = yuckness.

"When you're close to tears remember, Someday it will all be over, One day we're gonna get high."

The girl and her possible boyfriend just walked by.

Earlier today, a guy pulled over and asked for directions to somewhere in campus. I'm not one to give directions unless I'm the only one there but damn, this guy was so cute.

(Oh god, I can smell burgers being grilled.)

Back to the guy, I was the one who gave the directions. If I could, I would have jumped into his car. (Yes, this is what I mean by "sex exploit" Mozart)

Well, I got to go. Dad's here. (6.17pm)

So, I plan to do this kind of thing once a week or so. Where I spend my free time, just writing down whatever is going on with a picture of the view in front of me. What do you think? Is it too chaotic?

I Won. 3rd Time Luck.

I swear I'm not going to write another word for a story in 4 months. Mokesart said I'm given a short rest before he's going to crack his whip again.

Oh yes, I got a little gift for you guys.

Yes, I got to about 50K words around 8.30pm last night. I was estastic. I was tired. I felt like running around screaming my head off. Instead, I verified my word count before gloating about it on my Facebook by changing my profile picture to the one above.

Now, I often get asked what is my story about.

I don't know how to describe it.

There's angels, demons and Reapers. Erm, Mokesart seems to enjoy it, well of what he had read so far. He's a bit frustated when I don't know what the ending would be. Yes, the novel is only halfway through ( I think) and I don't know how its going to end.

I would like to thank Mokesart for his constant motivation and patience.

That is all.

Confession No.24

Next time, ask. Not tell. Not order me to.

Where's your manners?

Current Progress.

Since I'm stuck to my notepad, here you go. Expect a whole grand affair if I eventually succeed.

Interview With the Mokesart.

Mokesart and I have known each other for a year-ish now. This interview was conducted due to him forcing me. I swear. Free publicity.

1. Since we know this is going to be based on me, how did you first

meet Hanis aka me?

I don't quite remember. A website or someshit.

2. What was your first impression of me? Like, be honest. I swear I

won't edit anything out.

Bitch. A stuck up, cold bitch. To me: a challenge. No one is a bitch

for no reason.

3. I heard from a little birdy that I'm the reason you're blogging now

at your nice little blog. Is that true?

Of course. You blogged. I read. You told me to get my views out there

(probably so I didn't bore you to death telling you about them).

Seriously though, yes. You told me that I had a lot to say and should

write them down so more people could see them.

4.I've read your blog(duh) and you just have like, a multitude of

topics. Where do you get your inspiration?

Anything really. Stuff that happens to me, or just appears on my

RADAR. A lot of the time I will have an interesting (or at least I

think so) encounter which I will either like or hate. Failing anything

happening to me, I can link to other stuff I've been reading lately,

or talk about current affairs or anything. A lot of the time I'll

write a view of the world from my perspective: liberal Christian white

male student activist. Which I don't think there are quite enough of

in the world!

5. Oh wait, what about those Song of the Day? Do you randomnly pick

them?

The song of the day is basically random, though usually from my 5500

or so strong iTunes library. It might be a song I've been listening to

lately, or it might be a song related to the topic. Or I might just

click "shuffle" and see what comes up! Sometimes though I'll ask

someone else to pick (usually you!).

6.What do you do for a living?

I bludge off my parents. No, it's not that bad really. My parents do

cover my living costs, which are rather low as I don't cost much to

run. Besides that, I do a lot of what you might call "volunteer" work.

I am currently the (unpaid) Head of Media Relations for Pirate Party

Australia and I do a lot of (usually unpaid) freelance editing of text

and musical scores. My time is mostly dedicated to passing my units in

my Bachelor of Music, though I do hope when the next school term

starts to begin tutoring guitar and bass, plus to have a band up and

running.

7. Now, where do you get the time? Haven't my bad ways rubbed off on

you yet?

I have no idea. I just sort of multitask. I've had to slow down the

blogging because I've just not had the time lately, funnily enough.

8. If you can go anywhere right now, where and why?

The surface of the sun, because it's bound to be cooler than here at

the moment! No, I'd really like to be somewhere nice and cool, so

either Antarctica or Europe most likely. Not sure where exactly, as

long as the temperature is reasonable!

9. What is one thing that you've wanted blog about but haven't yet?

So many! I have a ridiculous backlog of drafts I was intending to

write. I actually wanted to write about my view on same-sex marriages,

specifically with an "alternative" to the mainstream Christian view.

10. What do you do during your spare time?

I usually write music, watch sitcoms or play video games. The former

two are far more common, as I tend to lose interest in video games

periodically.

11. What do you think about your current editing job?

It's great! The best thing about editing your novel is that I get the

chapters as you write them. Which means that I am literally begging

you to finish the next chapter. I'm really enjoying the story, and

contributing to its polishing is keeping me nicely busy.

12. Would you , if the situation ever comes, tell people to read it?

Are you kidding?! Of course I would! If I love it, other people will

too! (And get back to work! I want 25 000 words by tomorrow night! =P) (I'm currently at 40K now)

13. List out 3 of your favourite sites.

Oh dear, there are some I'd absolutely love to. But I'm sure it would

get me into trouble in one way or another.

I won't say www.keepthisonealiveinstead.blogspot.com because it's too

obvious.

My favourite sites would be:-

www.wikipedia.org – One of the finest repositories of knowledge

available today. I know "what about inaccuracies?" Well, I've read

many academic books which talk complete crap frankly. At least with

Wikipedia it's kind of obvious.

www.pirateparty.org.au – A bit of a political plug here, but I do use

it a lot. We've got a lot of our party press releases up there, and

there are links to information and many other things so that people

can see what we're about and that we're not just "spoiled brats who

want everything for free".

www.thepiratebay.org – NOT because it lets you find torrent files to

download illegally, but because it is a great repository for materials

which are hard to find. Books that are long out of print, albums which

were never released on CD, rare films. There is an almost unwritten

pirate law "you only pirate things which are rare or overabundant." In

this case, so many things are impossible (or near impossible) to get

your hands on, that the Pirate Bay is often a last resort. I think

this is a good thing, as it means most bits of our culture will never

fade away.

14. Hmmm, what else, oh yes. Will you interview me in return?

Just say the word darling =P (What word? D:)

For the Love of Food, Shut Up.

I'm close to hitting 32K words. I'm still behind but whatever. This is far more than I expected. Of course, when I find myself getting tired of writing, I neglect my homework write a post.

Have you ever read like, articles or notes on the dangers of eating a particular food? Like, the most popular is how dangerous Coca Cola is for our health. Or processed food. There's a whole list of em. Lately, a note was passed on on Facebook on how eating sardines from a tin can cause you cancer.

You know, smoking can cause cancer with a higher probability. I read it, gave a shrug. For me, its about moderation. Don't eat sardines from a tin for like 5 nights per week. Or instant noodles. But no, some people would just go "Haven't you read?"and blah blah.

I don't care. I don't eat sardines that much and I doubt eating a sardine bun two times a week where there's like, a tablespoonful worth of mashed sardines in each of them would make me have cancer with "Sardines" stamped on it.

I used to drink soft drinks all the time. Now, I only drink them if I go to a fast food restaurant. Because I dislike iced lemon tea where they actually use those yellow lemons. I prefer lime. Back when I was binging on Sprite, I was at the receiving end of:

"Do you know that you could clean toilets with that?"

and other shit. I'll get this poker face which is stage one. Stage two would be when I'm being sharp with them. I stopped drinking soft drinks around a year ago and I feel good for myself. Not because I read some article saying a snail was killed when Coke was poured over it. You get me?

In a way, people who read those kinds of articles are just the same as the idiots who read on the internet about Islam and they say women are opressed by the religion. Or those people who wanted to boycott certain stuffs when Palestine was invaded. They read few things, think they know it from back to front then rush head in before landing with their ass up in the air.

Or to put it simply, they'll go down in my view of them. I'll roll my eyes. If you really afraid for your health, do you know that chickens are injected with female hormones which makes them fatter and this, can cause men to get boobies? Or that fishes caught in the sea are usually about a month old before they get to the market? Hail the miracle of crushed ice.

Vegetables, are sprayed with pesticides so much that they grow up perfect. Or that dessert you just had, the sugar in that can kill an ant and land it in ant heaven. Don't even get me started on calories.

So, shut up. If you really want to care, go get a patch of land and make a vegetable garden. Raise your own chickens. Plant your own paddy field, don't forget the wheat and oats. Rent a boat and fish for yourself. Then, you'll truly reduce the risk. If you're not prepared to do that, shut your mouth when you see me tucking into something so tasty. Chances are, you'll be some foood frigid, completely miserable as you try to remember the taste of some food you last ate aeons ago.

Cursing in the Morning. Not Good.

Something is really pissing me off.

I live at home, which takes time for me to commute. But so be it. I'm tired of waking up at 5.30 and arriving there an hour-ish later which leaves me 2 hours. Yes, I spend it at my friend's room but I do feel like I'm being a nuisance.

So is it so hard for people to see the reason why I don't want to mess with a day where I don't have an 8.30 class? When I say "No, I don't want to have a freaking discussion at that time." I get looked at as if I'm difficult.

Bitch, you think I'm mucking it about at home?

Urgh. I'm not mad at one individual. I'm just mad at a whole thing. I'm tired from commuting. I'm not really studying. I feel icky. God. I just want to roll on the floor and cry sometimes. Hell, I'm supposed to be typing for my NaNoWriMo now but I'm ranting here. So, fuck it.

Be My Bedmate? Not So Easy.

This is a break from my NaNo attempt.

So, few weeks ago, Dad had to go to this 2 days thingie where he had to do stuffs like a treasure hunt and other activities that is suppose to instill leadership and teamwork among you and your colleagues. The interesting thing was that he was one of the older ones, the majority were in their mid 20's to late 30's. Oh, so cute.

The trip meant he would be away for one night which actually makes a big impact in this household. Well, more like on Mama. You see, my mother is such a cute woman in her ways that one must wonder how am I her daughter.

Ehem.

One. She has a thing of parking the car right in front of the restaurant/cafe we're going since everyone would be looking at us.

Two. She just can't go eat alone because she will feel so shy.

Three. She simply can't sleep alone because she has a fear a burglar is going to come in through the ceiling and hold us hostage is afraid.

Okay, I have my own self esteem issues but I do try to not let One and Two be part of me since I don't see the freaking problem. For Three, I simply adore sleeping alone in my room, without no roomates hence the reason I rarely ask anyone over because god, that will just ruin my personal time.

So, on the night Dad was away, she made me sleep in her bed and little bro was being a pain so he ended up sleeping on the carpet in her room instead of in his. I had to get used to not being in my bed but that was okay. Until, Mama poked me and told me to stop fidgeting.

"Stop moving around so much Hanis."

"I"m not."

"Yes you are." - little bro.

It was only the night after that I realise I do fidget. I have my own pattern, if you must put a word to it, to sleeping.

First, I'll lie on my right side, two pillows under my head, hugging the bolster in front of me. Then, I'll turn to lie on my front, hugging the upper pillow under my head with my legs doing that thing I think most people do. You know, where one is straight but one is bent and it just feels so perfect?

I won't stay long but then I'll get onto my left side, bolster behind me as I throw an arm above my head, putting pressure-ish on my right ear. I'll usually fall asleep by then but if I still haven't, I'll move on to my back-up position.

Curl up in a ball on my right side with the blanket wrapped around me as if I'm trying to ward off the cold like its a monster from under my bed.

So, yes, I do fidget a lot. Few years ago, I was prone to lie on my back, arms thrown above my head, holding on to the railings. Now I think about it, that was preparing for the losing of my cherry one day. not a position appropriate for a girl my age and innocence.

Hah.

Yes, I sleep with 3 pillows, it used to be 4. If I have to live with only 2, I'll put both under my head and will simply hug my blanket. Yes, I've done that before. Blankets make the best snuggly buddy.

Now, back to NaNo.

Love,

Gloating Moment. Live it.

Okay, I'm here to gloat, blow my trumpet, etc.

I'm currently so close to hitting 30% of NaNoWriMo eventhough I'm lagging 2K

I'm losing my Stephen King's virginity with Needful Things.

Oooooooh, my interview came out.

Yes, yes yes. Go and check it out, its at one of my favourite blogs ever. Not to mention, the blogger is awesome.

Go go go go go.

Run like the wind Bullseye.

Learning to Use the Shift Button for Capital Letters.

I hit the 10K mark last night. That's 20% of 50,000 words. Hopefully, an improvement from my past efforts. Yes, Mozart is the reason I'm not thinking "God, I give up.". He has a whip and he uses it.

So, last night my keyboard went wonky and well, I did something so stupid. Somehow, Google put it in my head that I need to clean the affected keys which were Caps Lock, A, Q, Z, Tab and Shift.

Fine. But then it told me to take it out and I managed to pry out Caps Lock, clean it but guess what? I failed to put it back in.

I felt stupid but it was nothing compared to how I felt this morning when I turned on my computer and wo behold! The keys were working again.

And I was stuck with the caps lock key still not being in place. Do you know how stupid that feels?

I wanted to scream this morning. Especially when I was retyping the 900 ish words I had hand written last night in my attempt to reach 10K.

Yes, I can ask my dad to do it for me but ..... I'm scared =.=

Help me anyone? Haha.

*will try asking someone more nifty*

Of course, I'll try to post more! I promiseeeee.

Peace out.

Typing Frenzy

Tommorow is my first day of my week-ish mid semester break. Yes, I'm tempted to go 'Wooohooo" and roll on the floor. That is, until I remember the workload. Of course, I'll take this chance to catch up on my NaNoWriMo thingie. I'm up to 6200-ish words if I'm not mistaken.

The secret is ..... Mozart. He edits my work by the chapter and then tell me to write more. He's practically a slave driver I tell you. I'm expecting him to crack a whip any moment now, telling me "WRITE HANIS WRITE!"

Now, don't tell him I said that.

Apart from my NaNoWriMo, I did an interview for another blog. Yes, be excited for me. I won't tell you anything except it was for a blog that I so adore <3 . I expect the blogger would be emailing me again with some more questions or need for clarification and I promise when it is posted, I'll link it up on here and gloat about it.

Now, time to watch Friends, Season 3, Episode 19 before I start to write again.

I'm Ready. I'm Ready. Brainstorming.

I decided to do something utterly crazy and mind bending. Something lunatic-driven and perhaps, warrant few smacks to the back of my head kind of thing.

What is it?

I've decided to join in NaNoWriMo this year.

Please, send me your wishes to my comments on here.

Ishashime, you have to do this with me. We should be buddies on there!

Mozart, I'm gonna make you do this.

I'll take down everyone with me!

I'll sink this ship.

*clears throat*

Now, I need to brainstorm about ideas.

Basically, my ideas can be divided into two. Fantasy and non fantasy. I know I want to do something that can be put under the young adult section.

I want there to be emotional turmoil. I want there to be a love story. And being me, there has to be a case of unrequited love.

I know from my brief participation in fanfiction writing, I'm good at conveying sadness and heartbreak. To put it simply, I made people cry.

If I choose to do fantasy, I might write about angels. Demons.

If I choose to do non fantasy, big chance I'll be writing about best friends. Or unrequited love. Normal drama.

Which should I do?

NaNoWriMo, Do I Dare?

Last year, I participated in the National Novel Writing Month aka NaNoWriMo. I even put up a word count widget on here, promised you guys some preview to what I was writing and so on.

Then, my presentation for uni came by and I was swamped with stress and we all know that equation.

Hanis + stress = Unproductive Hanis moping around, eating sweet things.

That attempt ended with me hitting 10,000-ish words and proclaiming that I would never ever ever do this anymore.

So you're allowed to smack me now because I sure am thinking of joining it again this year. This time around, I'll aim to see how much I can write before I got bored/stressed/distracted. What do you think of that?

And of course, I'll be in a brainstorming mood because for some unknown reason I don't want to use last year's idea. God, my laptop is a cemetery for half developed plots.

I'm sure once Mozart reads this when he gets back from him let's abandon Hanis for 4 days little trip, he'll have ideas.

I just noticed, exactly a year ago, I wrote about signing up for NaNoWriMo.

A Bowl of Cookie Monster Please.

From this wonderful website which I visit every few days:

Customer: “What’s in the Cookie Monster?”

Me: “It is a blue cookie dough ice cream with Oreos in it.”

Customer: “Can you take the blue out?”

Me: “No, we use a blue dye when we make the ice cream. It has no flavor.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll get a different flavor because I don’t like the taste of blue.”

Oh my god. I want that ice cream so badly. Not to mention that Cookie Monster is my favourite Sesame Street character.

Don't Confuse Culture with Religion. Get It? You Better.

I should really stop reading Yahoo articles where they talk about Islam. And then don't read the comments at all because I sure don't want to get high blood pressure.

Like, I've ranted about this before that religion, any religion, is sometimes affected by the culture of a place. And it just pisses me offf when some people who think they're sooo freaking smart about a topic just goes on about it. I swear, I just want to smack the back of your head with my Calculus text book.

I was reading some article on Libya wanting to use Syaria law. Okay. I should have stopped at the article. But no. I had to scroll down and read the comments. I stopped myself after two "What the fuck are you fucking saying?!"

Here's one that I had to refrained myself from replying to.

"forgive my ignorance ,but going with what i see is sharia is doing just that,i.e arranged marriages,you cannot go out unless escorted,disobey your husband and get beheaded....need i go on"

Arranged marriages? Like, my ass. You cannot go out unless escorted? Hell to that. Get beheaded? Oh come on.

Here's the reply that was forming in my head, nearly bubbling out of my mouth.

Dear Lady,

Arranged marriages are not so bad, as I've heard that they have a lower divorce rate than normal marriages. But last I heard of those was during my grandparents' time. Nowadays, the closest is when mothers introduce their kids to each other and cross their fingers, hoping they'll get on. But for you to fucking say that arranged marriages is part of the Syaria Law? For fuck sake. Culture has more to do with that. I see it no more different than people marrying for money.

I swear the number of times I went out unescorted, I think my dad is having a heart attack, or sharpening his axe to behead me. Come on, stop looking at one part of the world and labelling what they do as Islam. Do you want me to look at the Pope and label his actions, words, excuses as Christianity?

My mom makes a habit of telling my dad where she's going. But, I make a habit of telling my mom where I'm going. I just see that as something normal. Like, I have this thing where I imagine going out without telling anyone, get into an accident and then my family is like all confused and wondering why am I at that place at that time. You know?

She has never been beheaded before though, unless she's like one of those ancient Greek monsters where you cut off one head, two more comes out.

About your ignorance, I can't forgive it. I can't forgive you and most of the other people who is just like you. There's innocent ignorance and there's fuckingstupid malice-filled ignorance. And hey, like the sentence "I don't mean to be rude", "Forgive my ignorance" is empty words. You don't mean it.

Love,

Me.



Months and months back,I read this blog where the person stated Sex and The City 2 was bullshitty for some reason. Honestly, I don't give a care about that show. But the reason, made me comment on the post. She was going on about how in the world can the women in burqa (all covered up) can be wearing such high-end clothes underneath?

I was so flabbergasted by that before I laughed myself off the chair. She was serious.

Like, seriously shit serious.

First thing, Malaysia is quite the popular holiday destination for Middle East tourists. I've seen those women in burqas wearing jeans underneath it (I saw by mistake). I saw some wearing stilletos. I bumped into one in the changing rooms, she was trying on a belly baring top, a dress and god knows what else.

So I would like to say, that movie got it right. And I told her so. And guessed what she did? She didn't post my comment but someone else's comment who agreed with her that women there is so opressed yada yada yada. And then she deleted that post.

HAH. She just couldn't take it when someone corrects her. Boohoo.

I do read her blog once in a while and god helps me, I can dislike someone just through their blog.

God, I just ranted.

I Need a Translator.

I have a test in few hours. To be more precise, an oral test for Arabic 2. We all know how much I suck at that. I feel like I'm back in grade school, wanting to hide under the desk as I whimper in fear.

It's for 2 chapters and I just want to diekilljumpoffacliff scream and cry my eyes out. I need to make flashcards for next time. I promise.

I now know how those kids who were weak in English back at school felt like. As if there's butterflies eagles pecking and clawing my tummy.

Umarris al-lughatt al-arabbiyatt, imtihan al-yawm.( I practice arabic, test today)

I just butchered a language there. I'm sorry people.

Love,

One Awkward Moment After Another.

That awkward moment when your mom ask you if you have a boyfriend when you thought the answer was so fucking obvious.

That awkward moment when you're tempted to go:

Yeah Mama, his name is James Franco and OF COURSE I DON'T HAVE ONE.

That awkward moment when you instead say:

No.

That awkward moment when she seems not to believe you.

That awkward moment when you sigh and say:

If I did, I would be on the phone more often and going out more, wouldn't I?

That awkward moment when she ask if you like anyone.

That awkward moment when you're stuck between:

No Mama, I only like white guys.

and

Yes, but no one likes me back.

BananaButterHoney.

Do you remember this little "recipe" of mine that some of you tried and liked? Well, today I had a craving for something sweet and let me tell you I'm not someone with a sweet tooth.

Last week I made pancakes and since I don't like maple syrup, I decided to use butter and honey instead. And guess what? I'm in love with the butter and honey combination so much that it has replaced peanut butter as my favourite thing to eat with toast.(Peanut butter is a seasonal item in my house for some reason)

During today's craving, I decided to have toast, again but with something else.

1.Take a banana, slice it in half then cut it into small pieces.

2. Heat it up a bit, longer if you want it to be mushy-ish. Use a microwave, its easier and do keep an eye on it.

3. Put in half a table-spoon or a teaspoon of butter, depending on how big the banana was.

4. Put in some honey, around 1.5 tablespoons of it.

5.Sprinkle some cinnamon powder before mixing it all up.

6. Put a piece of bread into the toaster, letting it become crisp at the sides, browning edges but still white in the center.

7. Slather the banana mix all over the toast and sink your teeth in.

8. Tell me you love me in the comments.

Love,

When Its In Narnia, Give Up.

I'm not one of those people who have a nice studying schedule. Or who studies for a number of hours everyday. I do try to study though. Like, when I got quizzes and tests coming up. Or once in a blue moon.

I got a quiz in Stochastics tommorow. On god-freaking-something that I'm sure I'm the only one in the class of 8 that didn't get it.

So, I sat at the dining table downstairs, fully focused on my book, trying to get what the topic is about.

Nada.

You know when you're studying, there's 3 situations.

A. You got it all down, in your hands.

B. Its just within reach, you have to work a bit hard.

C. Its in freaking Narnia.


I'm at C. Like, I threw a mini tantrum few minutes ago, cursing everything to the seventh circle of hell.

Mind you, it has been quite some time since my last tantrum so I felt like I was 14 or something, slamming my book shut, shoving my pencil into the pencil box, cursing every number ever created.

I got 2 assignments due on Friday. My progress level?

ZERO.

Sigh. Fine, I'm gonna try to start on one of them. That is, after I finish watching the 7th episode of Friends' Season 2. I'm hopelessly addicted to it now.

More Food, Please.

I cook.

By cook I mean, preparing/making food that I like/want to eat. And also helping Mama with cooking dinner/lunch.

I've at times, tried out recipes from the world wide web and most of the times, got quite edible though not perfect results.

I made biscuits, southern style ones you know.

I made the gravy for the biscuits.

Fish and chips.

My own tartar sauce.

And tonight, for the 2nd time, I made a stack of chocolate chip pancakes and this time, actually sat down and ate some.

We don't really have pancakes here. Well, we do but its mostly at places like House of Pancakes. And .. others. Waffles are much more popular though.

*thinks of waffles with icecream and strawberry sauce*

*thinks of waffles with chocolate spread and butter*

My sudden craving for pancakes tonight might have came from my lack of something sweet today. It practically made me lose my appetite for dinner while I mope in my room for something sweet.

Dad went to play tennis, driving Mama's car which leaves me to the mercy of his shiny car.

There goes my plan to buy something sweet.

So, to the kitchen I went, again.

30 minutes later, I had about a small stack of pancakes, some of them plain while the rest had chocolate chips in them. And I dug into 2 of them, enjoying every honey soaked bite.

*pats tummy*

Now, I want some sandwiches. The other day I made cold chicken mayo with cabbages. God, the cabbages made it so crispy and goooood. I made myself a pita bread sandwich with plenty of lettuces and tomatoes.

Yes, I'm a vege fiend when it comes to burgers and sandwiches. The more the better.

Or maybe I want some fried mushrooms.

*puts a stop to my food fantasies*

Hello October. Yes, You.

Hello October. I started this month with attending a 2 day program for uni. The original plan was that there will be a talk from 8.30am till 1pm today and a group thingie from 8.30am to 4pm tommorow.


But then, last night they made a switcheroo. Whole day today, half day Sunday.

That cancelled out a plan I made with two friends to go to this buffet place for lunch today. And since we're all such busy students, it seems that our plan is delayed for few more weeks. Perhaps till our break in November.

*sighs dramatically*

What made it suckier was that I finished early, around 1.40pm but by then my two friends already made other plans.

-.-

Other updates, my brain is slowly moving again after 3 weeks of school which is great. I might be doing a group research paper on Cannibalism. Or Teen Suicides. Its for English and the lecturer seems nice.

Today, during the program, I felt like a snob for my inner thoughts on how some people can be such idiots. I know, my course is ... well, not elite but its kinda hard. So perhaps I'm used to ... smarter kids.

It started with this problem given where:

A has 1 dollar

Forget it, I'm such a lazy snob but I can't get over how some people were soooo convinced that their answer was right and looked at the others as if we were dumb.

At least I kept my "You guys are idiots" thoughts in my head.

I have an assignment to submit on Monday, a short essay on godsomething Limit. Central Theorem Limit. Or something way off, I'm sure. I'll just look up info for it later tonight tommorow

I'm currently on page 137 of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.

Here's to a hopefully, better month. Hello October, do bring me weight loss happiness.

Confession No.24

No, I don't want to ttyl.

Its a Shallow Pool We're From.

There's two kinds of guys. The first one proclaims, with a degree of honesty, that they value appearances. The second one however, bangs on how about inner beauty and personality are core. This group can be divided into two with a ratio of 9:1. The majority to me, is such a mystery since they go crazy for that oh-so-pretty girl who can't be bitchier if she tried when there's a perfectly nice girl who's not as attractive.

Like, what the fuck is that?

Mozart said that people are fundamentally shallow.

Noelle said that those guys were probably hoping that there will be a somewhat decent personality under all those oozing hotness.

What do I say?

I think that people are too hung up by what society think is attractive. That a person wants to be with someone who they'll be able to gloat about, to get approval for. Its an ego thing. You have someone who's attractive in society's eyes, your own ratings increase.

Fuck. That.

I've heard:

"Yeah, she can be a bit bitchy/controlling/clingy but damn, she's hot"

But never:

"She might not be so pretty but she's soo great"

Now now, don't think I'm just banging on how guys are shallow shitheads. Girls can be too. But think of this, I've seen more couples where the girl is far more attractive compare to couples where the guy is far more attractive. Celebrities, rich people, etc, don't count.

Like, haven't you people heard that beauty fades, wealth gets spent? Or are you guys too caught up in comparing beauties?

Today, I heard something that made me so mad, few hours later I teared up out of anger from it.

Friend A: C(a guy friend) said that if friend B loses weight, one of the guys will go for her.

First of all, C, you're an idiot for even passing that on. This is a situation where I truly believe in killing the messenger. If this topic ever surfaces when I'm around, I'll get really mad.

Second, whoever that guy is, he's a piece of shit. A jerk. Who doesn't even deserve B, not even her little finger right now. Who the fuck do you think you are? Putting on conditional probability in life. I swear if I ever find out who you are, you'll find yourself getting smacked on the back of your head. With a chair.

And its not even about me.

Over the weekend I got ranty. Or melancholic.

Statement 1: If I lose weight, I might be attractive in society's eyes.
Statement 2: Guys who were ignoring me before might give me attention.
Statement 3: Those guys are only going for the outer part.

Mozart: People are shallow.

Noelle: Did something happened? Is something wrong?

Yes, I lost faith in people.

My Mind is Bonds Fried.

I spent the past two hours completing an assignment for Actuarial Programming. It is basically taking the things we've learned in Actuarial Math and Financial Math, making it into an excel program. Basically, taking a question that might take you around 5-10 mins and making it into something that can take an hour. Or more.

Our lecturer gave us this assignment.

"Set up a bond ammortization table. The following items must be there: Interest, fix/par value,redemption value, coupon rate, coupon payment method"

I delayed doing this since Friday because my Risk of Theory aka Financial Math bible was in a bag somewhere under my bed. Yes, its that hard to take the bag out. Till tonight, I was bored so coughing out barely there dust bunnies, I got the book and decided to start on this assignment.

I sat on the dining table since I still don't have a desk in my room. I was armed with the text book, a pencil, a piece of paper, my calculator and of course, my laptop. Everyone in the house heard my sighs, groans and crazed mutterings.

I thought I was done 90 mins later and even sent it to Mozart, gloating about it until I saw some mistakes. He went to bed, I continued cursing the damn assignment. After some tinkering here and there, I think I got it down.

I saved it, remembering the two times excel died on me, making me restart the whole thing. That was torture. I was clossssseee to throwing something. The assignment is due in 2 days, yes I'm being early for once. A day in history.

I'm currently on page 139 of The Girl Who Played With Fire.

Song of the Moment: High by Lighthouse Family.

Hiding in My Room.

I can see a pattern of me posting short, whimsical posts that are about my current thoughts, doings and so-on. I think it helps with my stress level which ultimately help me avoid a mental breakdown.

I'm also becoming fond of making lists in stating my points. Like, it make things way easier, right?

1. It looks like I'll be commuting to class every day. It might be fun and alright if only my classes didn't end at 6.00pm for 3 days and 8.00pm for one.

2. I'm still sore about not getting a place when gah, there's so many urgh... nepotism, if that is even the correct word, going on. I summed it up to Mozart as:

"I'm too priviliged to be eligible for a room and I'm not priviliged enough to have some inside help"

Aka, I'm too fucking "rich" to be allowed to live on campus because obviously I should rent somewhere off campus but then I'm not rich enough to know someone who can pull some strings for me even though I so can afford a car.

3. In order to adapt myself to studying at home, which is not the best place for me, I asked the parents for a desk and a chair in my room. Yes, I don't have any of those. Just a bed, two bookcases, two cupboards and a dressing table.

It turned from me looking at desks online in order to get an idea of what I want to me proclaiming my whole room needs a makeover because I want to dedicate a wall to a built in desk and bookcases. With a chair on wheels.

4. I'm just so plain lazy at the moment, making Mozart frustated. Currently holed up in my room, hiding from visitors. Yes, I don't like people that much. Especially when they come into my territory aka my house

5. I'm currently on page 101 of The Girl Who Played With Fire.

6. I watched Hercules, the Disney movie, last night for no reason.

Love,

Losing My Chuck Virginity.

Remember what I was planning to do? Well, it failed. I was so close to getting a place but damn it. Mama sent me to the place around 9.30am, giving me enough time to get to my 10.30 class.

But

That class got cancelled. So I took my sweet time, visiting the uni's bookstore and the first thing I saw was the "Clearance Section". Novels going on from 9 to 13 ringgit each. Which is around ... 1/4-1/3 of the normal price for a paperback book.

Malaysians aren't known for being big readers. Well, there's more non-readers than readers. Or perhaps that's the case for English books but I was the only one at that section, looking for a book and everyone else was busy looking at textbooks. God people, you should get your priorities right.

I picked up a copy of Chuck Palahniuk's Rant, breaking my Chuck virginity which I think amused Mozart a bit when I texted him that. I've only read the first chapter but it seems promising. Gruesome too.

The book cheered me up a bit from the depression that set upon me from the rejection. Fast forward 2 hours later I was in a better mood after a nice lunch with friends, contemplating if the 2 o'clock class would be on.

Then

I became a girl again, made shopping as a therapy. I bought a pretty grey scarf and two small clip on bows for my hair. A pink one with a dazzly center and a black one with polka dots. I got the first one in my hair right now, feeling prettier than normal even though no one can see me.

Two more classes and I'm done for the week, ready for my friend's invitation on Saturday which I hope will be serving her mom's tasty smackalicious, lip licking spaggeti.

I'm currently on page 370 of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Song of the Moment: Love You Like a Love Song by Selena Gomez.

Stealing From Mokesart.

I envy Mozart right now for his energy. More like for the fact that even when he's being "unreliable" he is still posting. Look at me? Barely a handful for the past few months.

I'm still waiting to get a room at one of the uni's hostels. I'm this close of begging laying down the reasons why I should get a place.

1. On the days I have an 8.30 class, I arrive at uni around 6.40 thanks to Dad who has to leave earlier than usual to send me before work. Oh yes, its 3 out of 5 days.

2. On the days my class finishes at 6.00, I have to wait for Dad who has to make way through traffic, bypassing where we live before turning back after picking me up. Today, I waited at the faculty for nearly 2 hours. 4 out of 5 days.

3. I got asthma. Which apparently, is triggered by fatigue. Like, I don't think I'll feel this tired if I'm the one driving back and forth. But when someone is sending me and picking me up. With hours and hours in between, its bound to catch up on me. I need a freaking room before I get an attack.

4. Ignore no.3

5. That figure you see on Dad's salary slip? That's all we're living on. We don't own houses that we rent. We don't have a private business. Like, most people. You know, most of those people who shows their parent's pension slip, well, big chance is the parent owns their own business or is still working somewhere else.

6. Trust me, if we had enough money, I'll be driving a car right now.

7. I don't think I'll study effectively at home.

Right now, I'm reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to refresh my mind before going on to the 2nd and 3rd book. The book helps me through my boredom at uni.

I wanted to blog about how my progress with all of those hard to remember subjects. Then I got this sudden wave of tiredness. I take that as a sign from the gods above.

"Hanis, don't write about those bloody classes."

And to steal something from Mozart, I'll be starting a Song of the Moment section. Mind you, it won't happen all the time.


Song of the Moment: Wish You Were Here- Avril Lavigne.

Confession No.23

All those crazy things you said,

You left them running through my head.

Ranting About Abortions.

Abortions.

What do you think of that?

What I don't get is how some male politicians/stateman/senators/public figures are against it.

Do they have the risk of getting pregnant?

I'm not even going to answer that. Like, unless you're the father of the baby or the person who will be responsbile for it in some way, you should just shut it.

I'm in the middle of Camp "Anti-Abortion" and Camp "Its Her Body". It's like: if you were raped and you got pregnant, I'm all for aborting it. If you were told the baby will be seriously defected and will be going through a hard life of pain and surgeries with a minimal chance of surviving, why put the pain on them? I know there are couples who do that. Take care of the baby. So the kid will know that it is loved. But come on, not everyone can go through the pain of losing a child.

Spare me the freaking "killing a human being" guilt talk. Tell that to the couple who's been childless for years and when she finally got pregnant, the doctor tells her that it's very risky, mortal-risk but they still go on because dear hubby would love the child or the wife wants to at least, leave something for her family.

As far as I know, that wife who could be risking her life is a human being too. Which guilt will be worse, aborting the child or having the mother die due to complications?

Looking at the other side of the coin, if you're going to do an abortion, again, why don't you just go and get your tubes tied? First time might be an accident but more than that, you're plain stupid.

You should look at other factors too such as culture and religion. In some places, having a baby out of wedlock is normal. In others, well, having a baby out of wedlock here would be gossip. People will think differently of you. I don't blame a woman here if she wants to get an abortion. Just don't be stupid and do anything to put yourself in that situation again.

Its your body but don't abuse it.

Guys, its just ... its not you who have to experience having a watermelon being pushed out of a kiwi sized hole.

Ticket to Dreamland.

I wrote this when I was 16.

I wait everyday,

For the sun to set and the stars to dance,

In a merry party of cheese and crackers with the lonely man on the moon,

With crickets leading the orchestra,

Waiting for the sandman to come and visit me,

All snuggled up under my quilt with pictures of cats on it,

Ready to be given a ticket to Dreamland,

Where a boy with the sweetest smile is waiting for me,

With a bouquet of wild roses and a slice of apple pie,

No judgement and shyness occurs,

Not as in reality where we both look away when we pass,

Where I have to return to every morning,

Where no bouquets and no pie awaits me,

No boy with the sweetest smile,

Sad, isn't it?,

Wish I could get a one way no return ticket to Dreamland.

Showing off My Wares.

Yesterday, I went to this darling bookstore and there was this deal of "Buy2 Get 1 Free" that applied to about 80% of the books there. Its a small store but the walls are lined with shelves which are packed.

I was in heaven and asked the owner( I think he is the owner) if he had any J.R Ward books and he was all smiley "Oh yes we do" and brought me to the very back and BAM, I saw a stack of the Black Dagger Brotherhood books.

Fact: I have the first 7 books, having collected them over 2-3 years at the recommendation of a friend when she found out I love vampires that actually die/fatally injured when the sun shines on them.

Fact 2: The first 7 books are titled Dark Lover, Lover Eternal, Lover Awakened, Lover Revealed, Lover Unbound, Lover Enshrined, Lover Avenged. Let me tell you it was a pain whenever I wanted to buy one. Apart from the first one, the rest sounds the same to me. Often I had to read the blurbs at the back because I remember the books based on which Brother it was about. Wrath, Rhage, Zsadist, Butch,Vishous, Phury and Rehvenge(Technically he's not a Brother).

So there I was, staring at the books, my hope of finding the 8th or 9th book not so high since I've been dissapointed everytime I look for them in bookstores.

Then, BAM. I saw a thick book, as thick as Lover Avenged but it was Lover Mine aka John Matthew's story. Right there I had a book orgasm AND a fangirl moment. Right away my fingers were holding on to it as if it would lead me to my one true love. Greediness and eagerness made me ask the guy.

"Do you have the 9th book?"

"Well, the paperbacks coming in few weeks"

*insert another fangirl moment*

And this was before I saw the whole "Buy 2 Get 1 Free" sticker on the book. What followed was me walking around the store about half a dozen times, looking for two more books. I looked around for Marian Keyes, to buy another book from the Walsh sisters series.

Fact 3: Walsh sisters, there's 5 of them. Claire in Watermelon, Maggie in Angels, Rachel in Rachel's Holiday, Anna in Anybody Out There? and Helen in a book that's not out yet. I've read the four books and till yesterday, I thought there were a 5th book.

Fact 4: Anybody Out There? is such a beautiful book, all bittersweet and about moving on that it made me cry, every single time.

Fact 5: I just bought Angels two weeks ago and it was a great read.

I debated on getting another Jodi Picoult but being a fan of the character Jordan McAfee, I didn't know which book to get because I already read the 3 books he's featured in.

I then saw The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest which is the 3rd book in the Millenium Trilogy. I have the first two books about a year ago and might have forgotten to buy the third one. That became my second choice.

Fact 6: The author of the trilogy died, leaving three finished books and a manuscript for his 5th book, not the 4th since he thought the 5th one was more interesting. Its really sad since the man planned to write 10 books in the series. The first book might take you some willpower or time but once you hit few chapters, you'll get addicted.

So, the hunt for the 3rd book began which saw me considering Chuck Palahniuk, James Patterson, another vampire young adult book that's in a series, and oh so much more.

The 3rd book is basically a book I picked for the title which attracted me. The blurb behind it was good too. What book is it?

The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perotta.

You can guess how happy I was while paying for it. I only paid for the first two books and was practically skipping out of the store, vowing to myself to save up and buy books there again.

Not to forget, the other three books I bought before. Starcrossed by Josephine Angelini, Angels by Marian Keyes and a 2-in-1 book by Sarah Webb( It Had to Be You and Three Times a Lady)

As my Facebook status say now,

Nothing feels better than spending your hard earned money on books.

Love,